Hello all, I'm new here.
Does anyone have suggestions for improving focus for a 22 yr. old ADD adult, who refuses to take medicine? I'd like to provide her with some effective recommendations, although I know every person is different. She just started taking yoga, but is bored. I suggested Vinyasa and Ashtanga Yoga. Thank you!
My suggestion would be adding a martial art and a meditation class. I would love to be able to embrace a daily regimented routine, follow lists, and calendars routinely; "It ain't gonna happen." Break up the activity, content or location, variety works for me, I often compliment my wife on her ability to exercise daily over long periods of time; she just recently went 6 months without missing a day of exercise. Now that is substantial and makes me envious of her ability.
If she’s interested in yoga but isn’t digging the instructor, for me the instructor made all the difference in my commitment, interest, dedication.
What does she think? Does she feel like she’s struggling?
I think she embraces her ADD, because she likes speaking without a filter, being impulsive, breaking traditional societal rules. She likes the attention the shock and awe gets her, but that attention isn't always good. I don't think she realizes that her getting bored with everything after a week or two is a symptom of her ADD. She is at her best when she is exercising, and just started doing so last week. I asked her how it was going and she loves it. Her coaches have always said she was an amazing athlete because of her endurance and tenaciousness. So hopefully she won't get bored with it, and will notice and feel the difference, which could lead to learning other tools to help her to manage life.
Sounds great mom. Keep supporting and encouraging but also give her a bit of room to find herself.
Vigorous exercise might be more helpful and interesting for her. Yoga that gets her heart rate up, or hiking or jogging, whatever she'll try. Meditation I can do for about five minutes, then too boring for me. I sometimes do tapping (tapping solution.com) which is more like active meditation. Sleep is a big help for focus. It is easier for me to focus in the morning when I'm well rested and/or after exercise. When I'm sitting and doing work, if I'm losing focus, I'll walk fast around the house for five minutes and then sit back down. It's trial and error. Good luck.
Thank you Tortico! I will read the tapping solution. Sounds interesting.
You're welcome.
Hay DrummerMom!
Well you are not alone. I will say this first because personal issues involing our children make us feel like it a lot at times.
Twenty two years old, and not wanting meds. Mom, how is he handling issues without them? Can he focus, stay on task or stay straight in a conversation?
She sorry!😒
Sorry for the delay Supergirl1967.
She can focus for short periods of time on things she loves --playing paino-- but, is impulsive and impatient, sometimes is easily aggitated and always forgets something when she leaves the house.
Just a thought based on your userID: drum lessons?
For studying, if she's the kind of person who can focus with noise, I would suggest video game music! It's designed to increasse focus so you keep gaming, but can be used or studying instead! One thing I will say about this is be mindful of what music you use- making her own playlist will probably be best. Some songs can be distracting- I get thrown off if there are suddenly vocals, or if a quieter more ambient song is suddenly followed by a loud or upbeat song (avoid music used on boss levels XD). There's all kinds to choose from, and you can mix some lofi in there too! For VGM I reccomend Final Fantasy and Shadow of the Colossus, which are sort of classical (which can feel more natural than studying to Smash Bros or something); for lofi I'm a fan of quickly quickly, In Love With A Ghost, and any Louie Zong instrumental (though once studying is done, his lyrical songs are fun too!).
I know when I was younger (my 20's) I was stubern...so I would encourage you to be there when she is feeling bad. But she must be intelligent and trying to use other (holistic) ways to manage her ADHD. Be patient, flexible, and love her threw this difficult time.
My son is the same way...I worry all the time. But as an adult (goodness...he is still my baby) I need to offer him advice and be patient with his thought process. He will figure it out, just as I did.
Good luck.
Renee
Thank you all for your suggestions, kind words, and compassion! And thank you Renee, as I can hear my mother's heart speaking. And I see that you hear mine.
Things have been up and down over the past months since I have written. As I mentioned a year ago, I don't think my daughter equates he poor decisions, when she makes them, to her ADD/ADHD. Someone referenced Jessica McCabe in a post, so I went on YouTube and found her. There are many similarities with my daughter, although my daughter was fortunate enough to do well in in elementary through high school, before and while on medicine. Once she stopped taking her medication in her second year of college, things changed. When she comes into town to visit me in the next couple of weeks, I am going to see if I can get her to watch Jessica McCabe's Ted Talk with me in hopes it will open her eyes or at least provoke a conversation.
My heart goes out to this community. I know that life can be challenging at times, but never give up! You are loved! And I believe with medication, self-care and tips and tools to manage life, you all will not only overcome your challenges, but make awesome contributions to your community and our world. Seize the day!
Warmly,
Michelle
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