Hi All,
It's been about more than a month. Just thought I'd do an update.
I have been taking ritalin and it's been working well so far. I am due for appointment with my psychiatrist for a follow up. I do feel that side effects have gone away big time like close to zero. At some point I'm wondering if it's doing anything since I don't feel anywhere like I did on day 1 like that euphoric state.
But if I look closely at my state here are some things I've noticed even currently:
- Less overwhelm at work
- Better focus and not always distracting myself at work
- Able to have better conversations with others
- much easier time abstaining from some things I was addicted too
- throwing less tantrums and can handle criticisms in a better way. I don't have crazy emotional outbursts.
- Enjoy pursuing my hobbies way more and don't always feel the need to distract myself with social media
- slightly less anxious around others.
- Better mood, less fluctuations. Before I would feel amazing at times followed by intense anxiety over my future. Now I'm very optimistic and am not scared for unexpected things especially related to work.
My message for everyone is that don't look for supernatural powers from medication. Those who obsess over medication and over that 'high' you get haven't understood the purpose of medication. Medication should just make you a more collective version of yourself so you are better able to do the things you want to and live a meaningful life. You should not feel like a zombie or anything. You should feel like you but just a better version of yourself. It should not make you depressed or anything.
At this point I'm glad that I found something I feel is giving me what I want. But the other half is my own determination and focusing on building my skills and focusing on living a meaningful life.