Depression after confrontation

[Salope7]

I don’t know if this has anything to do with adhd, but I get uncontrollably sad after I get angry. Like, in the moment I’m incredibly alert and aggressive and I don’t let people walk over me. I defend myself. But afterwards I feel like trash and I shake and get sad. Sometimes I cry, but never when anyone else can see me. When these things start, I feel terrible and like I made the wrong choice in getting angry or confronting the person at all. But then when the next time comes I do it again and have the same negative after effects. Does anyone experience anything similar?

[Gettingittogether]

Not quite to your extent, but yes, I have experienced moments of getting angry followed by regret that did feel uncomfortable and confusing.

ADHD is among things a condition of having trouble regulating emotions. Confrontations are complicated. You have to think clearly about the issue or your complaint (can be ADHD challenge) and regulate emotions to find the right amount of anger or sorrow and right tone of voice and body language at the same time. Another part of ADHD is having difficulty seeing the next step or an action.

So it makes sense that we might overestimate how satisfied we will be when chewing out someone vs. how we feel afterwards (not so great). Also makes sense that I would get lost in the process of confronting people.

Hope this touches on what you are talking about.

[STEM_Dad]

I'm not an expert, just a layman, but I recently came across some information about a possible cause of what you're experiencing.

First of all, the emotional response of getting angry might be either directly or indirectly related to ADHD.

Many people who have ADHD also have emotional dysregulation issues. There are other conditions which are often associated with ADHD, such Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which can trigger angry responses to situations.

This emotional disregulation is something that I've read and heard a lot about, as I've been learning about ADHD since my diagnosis.

Now, keep in mind that your angry response may be an overreaction (as some of us ADHDers are sometimes prone to), or may be well justified. You know your circumstances, and so I hope that you have a good idea of whether your response was appropriate.

(If you need help learning to control your emotional responses, perhaps some form of therapy or coaching would benefit you. I know that CBT, aka cognitive behavioral therapy, helped me when I was going through a divorce.)

-----

Here's the thing I just learned about:

The subsequent depression might be an after-effect of the hormones released in your body when your get angry (notably: cortisol).

I found this out by listening to a recent episode of the Huberman Lab podcast (link at end of this reply), in which Dr. Andrew Huberman discusses "Adderall, Stimulants & Modafinil for ADHD: Short- & Long-Term Effects". About 2/3 of the way through the podcast, he goes off on a tangent about "Cortisol and Hormones" (time mark 1h:19m:32s). He mentions how cortisol (which normally is beneficial) can be related to depression.

What he described seems much like what you described as your response.

hubermanlab.com/adderall-st...

[Mimmy12]

Hi, Salope7. I sometimes have had outbursts of anger and then ruminate on it for days. I have come to realize I have major rejection sensitivity which is common for people with ADHD. Anger isn't always the way in manifests itself for me but having deep sadness and negative self talk and feeling physical symptoms for days after something is common for me. Without really knowing your situation, maybe your anger about people walking over you could be part of rejection sensitivity. The link below goes to the first of a four part series on rejection sensitivity. You can also just google it and see if it resonates with your experience.

ihaveadhd.com/i-have-adhd-p...