update?

[Tryingtolearn]

Hi

I am just wondering if you have any update to understanding this? I have ADHD, but another family member with ADHD also has BPD and I am wondering if I have this also.

I cycle from feeling deeply loved up with my partner to wanting to break up and I can’t work out if this is a symptom of ADHD.

Thanks in advance

[STEM_Dad]

While it's possible that you have borderline personality disorder, in addition to ADHD, as your family member does, it would take a mental health professional who is very familiar with BPD to make a diagnosis. BPD is much less well understood.

I have read that many people who are diagnosed with BPD in adulthood were diagnosed with ADHD in childhood. But ADHD is a neurological disorder, and BPD is a personality disorder, so they are completely separate classifications of mental health disorders.

While I think I've also read that BPD runs in families, just as ADHD does (and I'm sure that I've seen clear evidence of both), I know that BPD is statistically much more rare than ADHD.

Certainly educate yourself about BPD. I read up a lot on it over several months, during the last year that I was married, because I think that BPD runs in my ex-wife's family, so I wanted to understand it better.

However, there may be other causes of your changing feelings. It might be due to your relationship dynamic. It might be that your partner's behavior towards you changes from time to time, and you are reacting to the changes. You might be reacting to unrelated stresses (like all the bills coming due at the same time every month). There might be a biological cause, like a thyroid issue, hormone changes, sleep deprivation, etc.

If you and your partner are experiencing difficulties in your relationship, perhaps couples counseling will help. If it has been a while since you've been to the doctor, then perhaps a checkup will help to identify or rule out other potential health issues.

And to try to be certain about whether or not you have BPD, see a mental health professional who is familiar with the disorder. (The assessment may take several weeks, on up to months. I understand that treatment for BPD can take a few months, or even longer.)

[STEM_Dad in reply to STEM_Dad]

I've pondered the ADHD-BPD correlation for a couple of years.

I know that BPD has a strong correlation with childhood trauma. However, few people with childhood trauma develop BPD, and some people with BPD apparently did not experience childhood trauma...so it's not a clear 1:1 relationship. (This adds to the argument that BPD is largely inherited.)

It may simply be that BPD and ADHD are unrelated comorbidities.

Alternatively, there might be a casual connection (with inherited disposition for BPD causing the emergence of ADHD, which I feel is more likely than the reverse).

It may also be that childhood presentation of BPD looks like ADHD.

-----

My current thinking on the correlation is that people with BPD (or a family history of BPD) are likely to develop ADHD, that they have the genetic predisposition for BPD & ADHD. However, I think that the reverse isn't the case, that a family history of ADHD doesn't have a greater likelihood of resulting in BPD developing.

I'm not a mental health professional or researcher, and I am not an expert on either disorder. I'm just someone who has given this a lot of thought.

[NYCmom2]

I think rejection sensitivity and difficulty reading emotions and assuming the worst plays a role. Spouse or partner has a frown on their face, needs time alone etc and we assume they’re feeling negative toward us.

Years of therapy and CBT have helped me pause, stop the negative thinking and maybe even ask what they’re thinking or feeling. Turns out their stomach is bothering them or they’re churning over a problem at work and didn’t realize they looked angry or worried or sick. Those expressions still look more or less the same to me and it’s shocking how fast I want to connect them to me in a negative way.