I need motivation

[Ineedtogetittogether]

Hi I am a 27 year old woman who has been going to therapy for about 7 years. I finally accepted my ADHD diagnosis last year and have been on medication since. Honestly it has done wonders for. I can actually push away a thought for later now!!. Any how my problem is my personal life. I get home from work late and by then my medication is waring off, which is good because I like my wondering mind most of the time. There are things though that I have to do when I get back from work. Things I don't want to do and don't really have short term consequences. Long term though not soo good. The problem is that I feel that outside of work I am too relaxed. I have spent years in therapy working on not focusing on others. The problem is I don't really have any desire personally to do things if they are not associated with others.

Sometimes I try and scare myself, but I am comfortable with my death, my messiness and in general I am a very okay with everything kind of person. I feel bad but it does not get me moving.

I am an adult so there is really nothing stopping me from doing what I want.

My hobbies are physics and generally occupying my mind.

I need to find ways to motivate myself in doing things that don't really bother me if I don't do but feel bad about not doing. Also they are definite necessities.

Hope this makes sense

[FindingTheAnswers]

Hi. Good question, as I understand. I was trained (and trained myself- codependancy) to worry and take care of everyone else. Also not long ago, I was much more structured and diligent- 'do it right now!'. From what I've read, structure is important for ADHDers. But as I've gotten older,,? I'm mentally/physically exhausted-I've burned myself out. After work, I'm content to sit on the couch and watch TV. But there's a lot more to life than TV. I just don't have the interest? A lot of these things seem to be boring-which is another ADHD problem. I do need to find some activities that I do enjoy and also motivate me.

I'm hoping that you get other replies that may explain this. Hang in there.

[Old_Owl]

This is something i am still working on as well.

And by the way, I am a big science nerd and spend lots of time reading about my latest interest. Went deep for a few years in quantum theory and mechanics This interest was actually helpful to me as I dove into understanding the structure of the brain, it's chemistry and so on, after received my diagnosis. Which really helped me on my journey to managing my ADHD.

My biggest ah-ha was while I needed my meds to make things easier, I also needed to re-assess and make new skills which took my ADHD into consideration. The skills I've developed, learned from people without ADHHD, and used my whole life really didn't work- it involved "trying harder" then getting on myself for not getting it done.

I'm newly diagnosed (November) so have been focusing on developing the skills on the work side of my life as I felt that was most critical for me- having a job gets me money, and I need money for my wife and I to live. Keep in mind this is working for me, but might not work for you- but hopefully it might give you some ideas to try.

My biggest issue at work was getting started on big stuff (my current role has me managing a number of large initiatives which I am responsible for defining). I would feel overwhelmed, and be stuck as to where to start until it was the last minute when I'd pull a rabbit out of the hat. (Maybe something you can relate to).

The first thing I started to do was schedule 30 minute focused work sessions (I am using the Pomodoro technique- it's easy for me and I just repeat these "Pomodoros" until I am done.

The key, for me, is scheduling with a specific task and holding myself accountable. If a thirty minute appointment comes due, and I'm not doing what I need to do, I ask myself why I am letting myself off the hook (a coach presented me with this question and I have started using it a lot)

I don't beat myself up if I don't do it, but I re-schedule it for the next day. I am accepting that even with meds I sometimes don't have the mental energy/focus and need a break.

I do have bad clutter in my closet and under the sink I need to address. And I'm going to try what I have been doing at work with getting those chores moving. Not planning to get them done, just spend 25 timed minutes on organizing my closet, then another 25 on cleaning out the cabinet under my sink. Then I will schedule more time next week- I am going the baby steps route.

Good luck to you and I love knowing there's another science lover around Use that love- turn your life into a big science experiment and figure out what works best for you. When it comes down to it- hypothesis testing is what I am doing right now.