I’ve become a danger to others

[lubacca]

I wonder if anyone here has experience with this. I’m an adult with ADHD, diagnosed about 4 yrs ago. My diagnosis came about bc my life was completely in disarray and it was affecting those around me. I’ve been in treatment since then but the chaos hasn’t stopped. In fact you could say it’s gotten worse. A lot of that is because I’m self-employed and my business has been in free-fall for a while now. This has affected my ability to provide for my family to the point where we are in a constant state of crisis. Because of the financial hardship, I’ve had to suspend therapy and coaching, so I don’t have much support. And I continue to make bad decisions which have catastrophic consequences. I have become a danger and liability to my family. I’m looking for any kind of intensive treatment options out there, but then again, being broke I don’t know how that would work. I am desperate. I have to make serious changes NOW, before it’s too late. If you’ve read this far, thank you.

[BlessedLady]

Do you have insurance? If not and if you do not qualify for Medicaid. Look into a Federally Qualified Health Center in your area. They charge based on income.

[ongaku666]

It clearly looks like you need help in more than one field and lots of brainstorming.

You might not be able to afford therapy or coaching atm, but the questions are:

- what have you learnt from them?

- what were the coping mechanisms you discussed?

- what are you good at and what do you struggle with?

Also about your business, is it really the best choice for you? I don't know what you do, but self-employed people need to be massively proactive and stick to their schedule, which ADHD-ers like us struggle with. Can your family, partner or employees (if any) help you with this?

Can you find a business partner or someone to take over your role?

Asking for help is very important and not being alone on your journey might ease some of the stress you're dealing with.

I hope I didn't sound patronising or redundant, and that you can get advice and support.

[Gettingittogether]

If you can't afford medical care, then you're going to want to get help to get to some reduced-price, even free care.

A friend of mine--very middle-class--went through a really hard period around the 2008 recession. He ended up going to a free public clinic near where he lived and he raved about the doctor who saw him. This doctor, a gp, also checked on his mental health and she had the ability to get him free appointments with specialists. Know this sounds impossible.

You need to get to some doctor and then tell them you need help because you can't afford care. You also can call your local political representatives who often know emergency programs people are eligible for. You may have to call a coach and ask for a few free sessions, which shockingly people will give more than you think--especially if it seems you will get back on your feet.

Now there's a bigger context here. Very few ADHD people can run businesses by themselves. How the heck did you make that decision. The successful people with ADHD in business almost always pair up with a details person. The ADHD person has the energy and creativity, but there is a partner who makes sure bills are paid and budgets not exceeded.

If the ADHD person doesn't have a non-ADHD partner, then it helps to have a non-ADHD spouse or something like. At minimum, you would need to be in a support group with other business people holding you accountable--so that you don't get stuck in your isolation and shame and denial.

Lots of people with ADHD do declare bankruptcy at some point. If that's your best move, it's your best move. There are several kinds of bankruptcy ... including options that renegotiate payments and allow you to keep your home and assets.

Most bankruptcy lawyers offer free initial consultations. BTW: the people I know who have been through bankruptcy ... were embarrassed, embarrassed, embarrassed. They said, "there's no way i can do that." "I can't do that." But then someone eventually gets through to them that literally bankruptcy is designed to prevent people from falling off the financial cliff because falling off that cliff doesn't help the economy. So ultimately these folks to a person celebrated, breathed a deep sigh of relief after filing for bankruptcy.

[NYCmom2]

Questions to consider: Are there family or friends who have offered help or guidance? Do you belong to a religious organization that offers counseling? Are there free clinics or social services in your area?

The fact that you’re asking for help is very good! Therapy or any type of consistent support should be a top priority when in crisis. Do you have any friends or family who are financially savvy and willing to help you figure out a plan for your business and finances?

[writer35]

Good suggestions from this group on medical care. In addition to the sliding scale care options, perhaps see if there is an International Coaching Federation chapter in your area because many have pro bono programs or coaches looking to increase their client hours for free or low cost in order to meet their credential thresholds. Even if you don't find an ADHD coach there, a business coach might be able to help you prioritize and feel more supported. Good luck! coachingfederation.org/prof...

[75ADHDgal]

I can relate. I have made a good living as a Nurse and a Nurse Practitioner . I was diagnosed at age 54 with ADHD mostly inattentive type and l have lost more than one job due to my ADHD behaviors and now at age 77 not sure how i am going to manage financially if I live aa long at my MOM ( she made it almost to 96)- and after trying to retire for 4 years I have to return to work to get enough money to live on - and this did not have to happen .

As for help- 1- if not on meds get your psychiatrist to write you a prescription for something ASAP. 2- Get into therapy if not already 3- Find An ADHD group- I am a Kaiser Member and took and ADHD adult group which helped me a lot 4- Hire an organizer to help 5- turn all the money management over to your wife 6-Get into couples counseling ASAP_ even though your wife knows you have ADHD she cannot really understand it . So keep a little spending money but have all the bills and paychecks go to your wife and not to a joint account.

As for daily tasks suggest a buddy system - it goes like this - pick someone you trust - try if first - break it down to half hour intervals with 2 hour maximu One person calls the the other - and says in next 30 minted I am going to do ( ie- all the dishes in the sink, sweep the floor and throw out the garbage ) . then the other person gives their pormise. IN 3- minutes one of you calls the other - NO BLAME - jsut a report - did you do it ! If not what happened . Ad for those of us with ADHD if you think something is going to take 3o minutes it will most likely take 60 or even 90 - we are terrible with time management