My name says it all

[Tawnitornado13]

I'm looking for real world advice. I'm the most disorganized, forgetful, confusing individual that honestly I have ever met. The harder I try the worse it falls apart. I have always had time issues and a plethora of other (jokingly) look there's a squirrel moments but wasn't officially diagnosed with ADHD until about 3 years ago. I'm atypical as mine causes me to (appear) to sleep too much. My brain isn't even semi functional until after 3 pm. But during covid lock down I became so much worse that I sought out treatment, hence official diagnosis. I had no outlet and became more trapped in my spinning head that my body just shut down. I started getting a tad better but recently became seriously more dysfunctional after I lost my ESA dog Sept 30th. What I barely had as a schedule since he became sick and on many heart meds and timing and certain meals and walks just stopped. And it flipped my world completely upside down. I forget to pay rent and bills and even work (what little I do anyway) it's not depression though I'm very sad without my best friend. It became severe anxiety and I lost more time. 4 hours flew by like 45 mins and I couldn't remember what I was supposed to do. Putting things away was like pulling teeth but worse. I didn't know where it should go so I just stuffed things in bags... So many bags... Purses, backpacks, etc.. rediculous. I see what's going on try to tell myself to knock it off start to go through stuff get in pain with my physical garbage then forget where I put stuff in order to put it away. I've been doing this my whole life honestly. And I've had just about enough. My body cycles through meds and I still get no relief. And I'm always always tired. Always. Ok great to complain with my first post but like I said my name says it all.😳

[AyDeeAchDee]

Just know you are not alone in it all. I often refer to myself as Hurricane Chelsey and your name made me giggle. And yes seriously, my music playlist is titled “hurricane chelsey” but enough about that, I know it can feel like an endless battle sometimes but you will eventually find your way of what works best for you. All medication and health related routines aside, we must focus on our strengths instead of perceived weaknesses in comparison to society. We’re all just walking each other home in the end lol 

[Old_Owl]

I am a 58 year old male recently diagnosed with ADHD and I can relate to your struggles.

For me, and as I learn more of my condition, I am finding it's not about the effort. I have likely put more consideration over and over on simple things like "putting stuff away" feeling most of my life that if I just tried a bit more I would be better at it.

I am accepting the differences in my brain compared to a "normal" brain and am starting to realize trying to fix it with more effort is like stepping on the gas when you've thrown a rod in the engine- I am not going to find results by only trying harder.

For me, this realization is one of the more comforting things in my life. I'm switching my life long paradigm from "I'm lazy and if I just tried a bit harder. . ." to "I have a neurological disorder (the thrown rod) and need to approach this a different way."

For me I've come to the conclusion I can't do this on my own and it's not quick fix. I need the help of mental health professionals (I am in therapy). I have started taking Vyvance to help with the deficiency of of brain chemicals and "different" brain wiring. And I am looking for a coach to help build skills with my diagnosis in mind.

It isn't easy, and sadly in the U.S. this ain't cheap. I'm getting use to the fact I don't know where this is going and trying to take it day by day.

Not sure if any of this will resonate or not, we are all different and I feel we all are going to have to find what works for us and what doesn't. But I don't think any of us can do this on their own- if nothing else it would be a lot harder that way.

Wishing you well on your journey.

[Blue_186281_red]

My house is a disaster. I can't put a couple things away when I'm done with them, I can't pay a bill when I first see it, when a responsibility has a 6 week deadline I can not comprehend that it is a finite period of time - I always put it off till the last min if I do it at all. My last 3 car registrations were late. BUT I can hyperfocus on an unpleasant task If I'm in the mood. When we moved into our house 10 years ago we were renting so I never really unpacked or organized house well. But we've owned the house now for 4 years and I still didn't clean up - there were strata of papers & kipple everywhere. With covid I've been able to devote whole days to taking care of the house and it only just recently started coming together as a livable environment. I found:

1) I'm motivated by an achievable goal I can meet in 1 day e.g. finding paperwork for new job, clearing desk for new web cam set up; find all old electronics in my mess and put them all in a new messy "old electronic" pile.

2) organize SOMETHING - sometimes, for example I CAN'T face the garage because then I start thinking about organizing a garage sale, and 'why haven't I already done that?', 'how do I price stuff?' , 'will anyone even come?' etc. Then I don't accomplish my current goal cuz I'm busy half-ass tackling a future goal. If I see that happening I'll switch to something lower priority but cognitively simple or more interesting like organizing my collectable cards that are preventing me from cleaning up my office.

3) drugs have made my life worth living and have been a BIG part of getting my life together so I can't relate to you there; I know there are 2 main classes, amphetamine (adderall) and M-something (ritalin). I assume you've tried both? I have no experience here but there are non-stimulants, exercise, dietary and supplement options. I don't exercise either but supposedly doing some AM aerobic exercise can help & diet. I have found several literature review articles on diet & supplements which may be worth exploring. I think most of what I found & trust was found via "for profesdionals" at ADDitudemag.com. Click on the primary sources and read them and search up details from another source on anything important you learn there - I'd take that site with a grain of salt. They appear to be shills for the pharma industry, Most of the site's articles are window dressing for providing a reputable front and look solid. But I have seen ADDitute's article directly contradict their referenced material, they mostly lack references, aside from "for professionals" articles they entirely lack outside links and trap you in their walled garden, their authors are mostly non-medical, many article's comment sections are shut down & I have not seen author response to criticism where there is comments.

4) break tasks down - e.g. just try to collect the kid's laundry. Maybe you just end up collecting laundry in 10 min, or maybe you get absorbed in putting the toys away for 2 hours because you had to move so many to find the laundry. I can't clean up fast, but I often find myself cleaning up very well - I can efficiently organize piles of junk if my brain decides it's interesting; I just can't turn that on and off at will.

5) have routines/mantras: I used to use ALL my AAA on locked car door, went through ~6 cell phones in 2000. Now , whenever I leave a place I say "Phone, keys, wallet, chapstick" and pat my pockets. Only needed 1 door unlock from AAA in past 5 years. I have same b-fast every day & wear scrubs for work - this makes AM routine very undemanding and I don't need to think much until after I've driven, absorbed meds/coffee, & woken up a bit.

6) I am often wandering around the house looking for something - this can waste TONS of time and be frustrating. If it's non-urgent, try just general cleaning - then at least you're accomplishing something and you don't have as much brain space left over to beat your self up about the 1 narrow problem.

[NYCmom2]

It sounds like you’ve lost your supportive structures and tools. COVID had that affect on many of us. And I’m really sorry for the loss of your dog.

Do you have access to supportive people like therapist, family or friends who can help you organize and breakdown your must do list (bills, healthcare, everyday basics etc) and guide or assist you as you build new systems?

[75ADHDgal]

Oh I am so sorry for your loss .I had a cat for 19.25 years who passed away two months ago and while I have a new kitten I still miss my Fred very much

? Are you taking any antidepressants > Any ADHD medications ? I am 77 diagnolse dwith ADHD at 54 cannot take any stimulant medications due to Cardiac Rhythm abnormality and my cardiologist says NO WAY. But wellbutrin is an Antidepressant with off lable use as treatment for ADHD and I loved it best of all the meds I tried . I cannot take it now because I developed an allergy for it but it could work for yoj

And please see a therapist NOW not later

Suggest you contact the agency that provided you with your support animal and apply for another one . In the meantime consider fostering an animal .

As for your disorganization typical for those of us with ADHD primarily inattentive type