support groups

[Judi1234]

I was just diagnosed and am really struggling and overwhelmed with everything. Although I have many friends , I have no one to share the agony of this with. I live in the SF Bay area and am wondering if any of you know of any in-person support groups. The local hospitals do not.

[Macweb3000]

Hi Judi,

First off welcome to the group. I don’t know any in person groups that meet but I do feel your pain. I grew up 28 years and counting in SF Bay Area. The hustle culture can really be at odds with ADHD depending on what the day is asking of your executive functions. And since it’s gotten more crowded over the years I find it not so charming as it once use to be.

A new diagnosis can be very overwhelming at first but it certainly doesn’t need to stay that way. First off you are not broken!! Just because you have been officially diagnosed doesn’t mean that you are suddenly a different person now. You have been living with and trying to cope with this your whole life. You are still the same you as you’ve always been and you need to know that!

What this does mean is that you have greater awareness of who you are now. That’s a beautiful thing. And by joining this group you have taken a big step forward to accepting yourself. May I ask what you are particularly struggling with?

Sincerely,

Brian Weber

[Judi1234 in reply to Macweb3000]

Overwhelming emotions (emotional dysregulation. Mostly anxiety. Also executive functioning. I've pretty much got impulsivity under control. Discovering that I have ADD has given me an understanding of the reasons for my difficulties in life , and that is a relief. But it also brings up much about my past life that is painful to look at. I bought a ton of books and workbooks when I found out( typical ADD), most of which I'll read halfway thru. I miss my partner and how much support he gave me (neither of us knowing why I had so much overwhelming emotions)

[MoonGoddess17 in reply to Judi1234]

Did you lose your partner?

[Judi1234 in reply to MoonGoddess17]

Yes

[Judi1234 in reply to Macweb3000]

ps. I live in the East Bay, not in the city.

[Macweb3000 in reply to Judi1234]

Hi Judy,

My condolences on losing your partner. I'm so happy you're not keeping to yourself though. Grieving a lost loved one and then having a diagnosis on top of that is a dozy but you got this. As individuals with ADHD we feel things so much more intensely and the loss of your partner could definitely produce the feelings of overwhelm. I would suggest 2 things that could help you feel less overwhelmed.

1.) Writing. As simple as it sounds the mind is not capable of storing all of our thoughts and emotions while trying to process them. I would definitely go so far as to say Writing doesn't make processing emotions easier it makes it possible!

2.) Check out How emotions are made by Lisa Feldman Barrett. Her theory is grtounded in tons of science and shows that we have more ability over our emotions than we think we do. I think her concept of emotional granularity will help you feel less overwhelmed because you'll be able to identify with a lot more emotions and actually know what you're feeling.

I am also in the east bay and have lived here for 28 years. It's a wonderful place but everyone of my family and friends that moves out of California says the stress just melts away. One of those people is a real inspiration. She was given 2 years to live 5 years ago. She moved to Mississippi stopped talking half of the prescribed pills, lost 60 lbs without exercising, has so much energy and has now become a lot more emotionally stable. I'm not saying move out of California it was just a "Squirrel" thought.

Hope this helps.

Sincerely,

Brian Weber

[Judi1234 in reply to Macweb3000]

Thank you, Brian. I will check out Barrett.

[dubstepMaul]

CHADD has a "search for affiliates" function on their web site. I think this one might be your area: chaddnorcal.org/

[Judi1234 in reply to dubstepMaul]

Thank you. I will contact them. I actually contacted them a couple of months ago, but did not hear back. Maybe I'll have better luck this time.