I've many symptoms and I feel very id... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

CHADD's Adult ADHD Support

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I've many symptoms and I feel very identified with ADHD, however, I've never been to therapy and I'm not diagnosed.

pinkadd profile image
17 Replies

Hi! I am not diagnosed with ADHD, however, since I know more about it, it is something I have been suspecting for several years, as I identify with most of the symptoms. I believe I have had these symptoms for the most part of my life, however, I have thought that I was just very lazy, bad at doing a lot of things and that I was never going to be as good as everyone else, as that is what people have always told me. Honestly, as I am not really diagnosed, I don't know if what I have is really ADHD, or maybe my problems are caused by something else, maybe it's anxiety, or I'm exaggerating or it's my imagination or just my personality is like that. However, every time I do more research on this topic, I feel more identified, but I don't know what to do, I feel that people won't understand me. Lately, I feel very frustrated about this, I don't understand myself, and I don't know if it's just my imagination, but all these symptoms are affecting my anxiety and self-esteem more, which is not helping at all. I don't know exactly what to do, I'd like to go to therapy, but I'm worried that they'll think that I'm just being overdramatic, moreover, I'm sure it would be very expensive and right now I can't afford it. I would like to talk to people who are in the same problem as me or can share their opinion about my case and their experiences with ADHD or ADD. Thank you very much.

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pinkadd
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17 Replies
Jozlynn profile image
Jozlynn

Hi pinkadd! Welcome to the group! You're in the perfect place to get feedback and encouragement.

I was diagnosed late in life, at the age of 50, after a lifetime of feeling the way you described. I was just never going to be good enough at things and I thought I just had to accept my limitations. Then about 4 years before diagnosis, I began really feeling like I was losing my mind. I would forget EVERYTHING it seemed like, including words that I was trying to say, and I honestly thought perhaps I had early onset dementia like my aunt. My doctor was the one to suggest getting tested for ADHD after 20 years of being put on different antidepressants to solve the problem...except it never did. I had little motivation, little interest in things, and I could not bring myself to do certain things no matter what I tried. I was dropping the ball at work (as an executive assistant to a CIO and CDO, that's not an option) and getting bad reviews for the first time in my career. It was devastating. When my doctor first suggested it I laughed. I had the image of the hyper little boy in my mind. Then I spent time researching it and a lightbulb went off over my head. OMG, that's me! The psychiatrist who put me on meds was freaked out when at our first follow-up call I burst into tears. I told her it was a good thing. I had accomplished things for the first time in YEARS and it felt wonderful. It's worth trying to pursue whether or not you have it!

Please do not let what you think a therapist might think of you stop you from trying it. It's their job to take you seriously, not think you're being dramatic. They have dealt with much more dramatic scenarios that ones like ours - they know people are really struggling, no matter the size of the struggle. I also encourage you to seek out a diagnosis. It's worth going through the testing, right? Why not find out for sure and then possibly get treatment (in whatever form you choose - meds, therapy, coaching, etc.). Honestly, being put on meds and having a therapist and coach have been utterly life-changing for me. I'm fortunate to have insurance, so I'm able to take advantage of therapy - but the coach is fully out of pocket. If you do get tested and are given a diagnosis, I highly recommend my coach.

I hope you're able to pursue this and get some help. You deserve to not live in such a way that makes you feel down about yourself!

Judi1234 profile image
Judi1234 in reply toJozlynn

Who is your coach?

Jozlynn profile image
Jozlynn in reply toJudi1234

Stephanie Galindo

facebook.com/stephanie.schn...

stephaniegalindocoaching.co...

You can tell her Josie sent you.

Judi1234 profile image
Judi1234 in reply toJozlynn

thank you jzlynn. Does she only do Facebook? I don't. Is there any other way to reach her?

Jozlynn profile image
Jozlynn in reply toJudi1234

No, Facebook is just one source - her website is also listed there so you can reach her through that. Here it is again, just in case: stephaniegalindocoaching.com/

Judi1234 profile image
Judi1234 in reply toJozlynn

thank you so much, Jozlynn . I will definitely contact her. I would not have known how to choose a coach without a referral.

Jozlynn profile image
Jozlynn in reply toJudi1234

That's exactly why I offer when I answer things like this. 😆It's SO hard to find someone these days, in spite of there being a bazillion coaches out there. How on earth do you narrow it down without wasting time and/or money? If for whatever reason Stephanie doesn't feel like a good fit for you, please let me know. I have one other person I would highly recommend (but that's the end of my list of referrals...I'm too picky 😉).

Judi1234 profile image
Judi1234 in reply toJozlynn

Will do. I am seeing a therapist and she suggested that I take a certain test online that she feels is accurate. I was only diagnosed a month ago, but I can see how ADD has affected my whole life, including all the poor choices that I have made. I can also see how my unrelenting anxiety has affected my children's happiness. I have a gazillion regrets and wish I had been diagnosed when I was young rather than when I am 70+.

However, It is not too late to heal. My therapist also has ADD so she really understands my pain and is extremely helpful in improving my self esteem which is currently at about zero. My Partner/husband died recently so, even tho I have many friends, I still feel alone in this. Thank you so much, Jozlynn , for your help and suggestions. Is there a way to correspond personally without everyone knowing my email

Jozlynn profile image
Jozlynn in reply toJudi1234

Absolutely! You can use the "chat" feature at the top of the page and we can take the conversation off of this thread.

Macweb3000 profile image
Macweb3000

Hi Pinkadd,

First off I agree with Jozlynn. And her point of view on seeing a therapist to get officially diagnosed. My experience is on the opposite side of hers though. I was diagnosed very early in life and put on several medications. I’ve had 2 decades of denial, poor management, and research.

I’m going to cut right to the chase and let you know that you’ve done one of the best things you can possibly do for yourself. By joining this community you are accepting a potential part of yourself and saying to the world you will not go it alone. That takes strength and you should be very proud!

On the other hand you need to think about moving forward. There is no doubt in my mind that your next step is to get officially diagnosed by a mental health professional. A true diagnosis is needed for so many things we with ADHD need access too. This is a multifaceted developmental issue. There is nothing wrong with you and if you think there is please stop as comparing yourself to a neurotypical is extremely toxic and will never help you.

In terms of treatment education is best but I don’t want to scare you with all of the many ways we need to cope with ADHD. For now focus on being active in this community and most definitely finding a mental professional to get an official diagnosis. Here for you if you want to talk!

Judi1234 profile image
Judi1234

I just posted that I would like to be part of a in person support group. I live in the SF Bay area.

Jozlynn profile image
Jozlynn in reply toJudi1234

I love the idea of an in-person support group!

Judi1234 profile image
Judi1234 in reply toJozlynn

Where do you live? I live in the SF East Bay [suburbs]

Jozlynn profile image
Jozlynn in reply toJudi1234

Well crap...I'm in the Dallas area.

Cat_Fan profile image
Cat_Fan in reply toJozlynn

Jozlynn, I'm really new to all of this. Is there a support group in Dallas?

Jozlynn profile image
Jozlynn in reply toCat_Fan

Hi Cat_Fan! I was a part of one a while ago, but haven't be involved in a while. Let me see if they're still meeting here in the DFW area! I'll get back to you shortly.

Jozlynn profile image
Jozlynn in reply toCat_Fan

My old group isn't meeting - but CHADD has a group out of Southlake. ntxchadd.com/index.html

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