College life is hard

[Rayray2003]

I am a sophomore now in college and am struggling with class attendance. I can get onto campus but never can actually get myself to go to the class. I am frustrated with myself and do not know what to do. I had a meeting with my advisor yesterday thinking that she could help and understand me. But she really would not truly listen to me. The meeting ended with I just need to get to class and that I just need to get over myself. That meeting has left me feeling even more defeated so any types or story's would be great.

[Doodledoodledoo]

Try building a reward system for yourself for getting to class. Like get a nice ice coffee on the way to class, but don’t take the first sip until you enter the classroom, or keep a little snack in your bag that you eat when you get into the room, or I guess there are probably non food rewards too, but I’m very food/treat motivated so that’s what comes to mind for me. Maybe you could have a really nice hand crème that you rub on your skin when you get to class, or a breath mint….. Or even just take a big ole refreshing swig from your water bottle… maybe you could make that special by putting some lemon slices or fruit in it. Something that creates a positive association with entering the room and also a little self recognition for your accomplishment. Just because getting to class is easy for others, doesn’t mean it’s easy for you. Overcoming that hurdle is an accomplishment worth celebrating.

Sorry this is a struggle for you! But if you can get past this hurdle a few times, it will become easier to do forever, which will significantly improve your college life. It gets easier with practice!

[GatsbyCat]

Hello, Rayray2003~

Bummer that the advisor was not real helpful.

If you have some friends or even a classmate in the class, why not see if there are any study groups in the class? If you're accountable to others in the class you are also more likely to go to it. I do agree with the answer from Doodledoo that once you can get past the first few times of actually getting into class that it can naturally become a good habit.

Rewarding yourself with a treat AFTER class (as most don't allow food) is a good idea.

I am visually motivated, so I created picture boards;

One- for my job/career/ Pictures of people doing my dream job

One for my relationships (wedding dress/ flowers

One for hobbies- Pictures of fun stuff i like

and lastly one for fitness- bikinees, cool workout clothes etc, yoga gear, numbers of ideal weight, etc

You could also have a big white board with a calendar (dry erase) My fiance who now has his masters in science showed me this idea:

Chart out your school year- yes, there are annual school calendars by month. This shows you where you are currently, and what you need to do to succeed. Break it out by week to have class time, study time, fun time, etc

Seeing it in front of you, can be really motivating once you also pair it with your picture visualization boards of where you want to be and end up. It is tough! People that finish and graduate are actually accomplishing so much and setting themselves up for a better life.

I wish you happiness, much success and FUN on this journey called life.

Regards

GatsbyTheCat🐈

[Rachel_North]

Hi RayRay2003

Have you managed to figure out what’s stopping you getting to class? Try some brain dumping (either in writing or verbally with friends – whatever works for you). If you can figure out the barrier it may help you to overcome it.

Is it because you’re scared of failure when you get there? Are you anxious about who will be there and what will be expected of you? Are you worried you’ll be late, or you won’t be able to concentrate? Maybe a past experience in high school is the culprit.

So many things we ADHDers fret about that neurotypicals like that advisor just don’t get. If it was that easy, we'd just do it!

I suggest you start small... get some wins on the board that may help you edge towards the end goal of attending a full class. Remember to celebrate every achievement, no matter how small. You’re already making it to campus so that deserves a pat on the back.

Once you get to campus, navigate your way to where the class is. Don't worry about how long it takes or whether you get there on time - the goal at first isn't to attend the class, it's just to turn up at the right place. Do this a few times until you feel comfortable going there. If possible, maybe even go into the lecture hall while it’s empty to get a feel for it.

Try going into class after it’s started if slipping in the back unseen is an option. You don’t have to stay – just peek in.

Once you’ve tried this, see if you can stay longer, and even get there on time or early. Keep building on these steps and don’t beat yourself up if it takes time or you regress at some stage.

While you’re working on this, find out if the classes are streamed online so you can keep up with the coursework while you find your way.

Good luck!

[Rayray2003 in reply to Rachel_North]

Thank you for the advice. For me, it's the fact that it is extremely hard for me to stay engaged in the lecture.

[Rachel_North in reply to Rayray2003]

It's hard not to get distracted if the content isn't engaging enough. I find sketching while I sit there helps (I'm no artist but it helps keep the rest of me still).

[Rayray2003 in reply to Rachel_North]

If you don't mind me asking how do you take lecture notes?

[Rachel_North in reply to Rayray2003]

Depends what mood I'm in! Mind mapping is great if I'm feeling creative (google Tony Buzan) or just writing down key words or phrases that appeal to me. I struggle to take detailed notes and follow the lecture at the same time. One thing that always worked for me was having a study group or study partner to talk about the lecture afterwards. By talking about it the info cemented better and I could take more detailed notes for later without missing the content.

[EJ_C]

How are you getting on?