I am a father of a 20 year old ADHD person (my son). He has a pretty severe ADHD to the extent that he cannot really commit himself to actually do something starting from cleaning his room – to selecting courses for community college. Although he is very outspoken and bright any paperwork or followups, even the simplest deadlines – are absolutely impossible for him. He himself recognizes this and suffers a lot from that. We love him to death and fully support him and it is extremely painful to see that and not being able to do anything. He is on Adderall and Prozac which do not really help. He does manage to read and he reads a lot. He sleeps days and stays awake at night – his day/night cycle is completely destroyed by medications. He is also an active marijuana user and has (as many ADHD kids) been through meth addiction stage which he managed to overcome.
We have Kaiser as insurance but their attention to his condition is embarrassingly negligible not to say detrimental. They quickly put him on medication and pretty much forgot about him – giving him an option to select a therapist from a very general pool of people having little to no experience with ADHD.
I am looking for an amazing ADHD psychologist/therapist/coach. Ideally with decades of experience and a serious degree.
I would deeply appreciate and referrals for that matter
Thank you so much in advance!
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The problem he will more than likely run into is Kaiser will not pay for someone good with experience. It sounds like they are not focused on quality professionals. Quality professionals probably want more than Kaiser is willing to pay.
Has he gotten a list of psychologists and others that accept Kaiser ? He could cross reference that with those that might have experience in ADHD. The problem is because psychologists, counselors, etc treat patients with ADHD. So they are usually listed as specializing in ADHD. He could read patient reviews. He might find patients that mention they have ADHD in their reviews
Coverage or rather the absence of it in Kaiser – is not an issue. As a family we are at a stage when we are ready to pay what it takes if the professional is right. What I am afraid of most and what I saw most so far (top of the Google searches) are charlatans – ready to prescribe whatever you ask for (we basically have Kaiser for that) or rather unprepared (even if motivated) "new age" youth having taken a couple of online classes for the MFT certification. I am looking for somebody Russel Barkeley level.
I agree about the lack of hands on experience. Books learning ie education is not the same as experience. Counselors and therapists get some experience but it is not enough for patients with severe problems. It sounds like you are looking for a psychologist that is 50 yrs old and older. It might take him seeing several before he finds one that is the right fit. Look at the years of experience a professional has at sites like Vitals and Health Grade. That will give you a idea of how old they are.
Doctors that prescribe medications. Rarely spend time time talking with patients. In most states, psychologists cannot prescribe medications. Which is one reason I suggested a psychologist. Unfortunately, unless someone can recommend someone. It is usually trial and error until the right mental health professional is found for a individual patient.
Does he have a therapist? Sometimes they can help more than psychologists/psychiatrists and they can also let you know who is good and who isn't for meds.
I see you, and your son agree the adderal isn't working. Why not try another ADHD med? That happened to my son. He was on adderal, kept telling his doctor it wasn't working so instead of trying something else he kept raising it..my son kept saying it still wasn't working, raise it somemore until he was at the highest dose of 60mg XR a day..then add in anger. lets prescribe abilify 30 mg..then anxiety came, lets give 150mg of hydroxyzine until he had a manic episode. Had to hospitalize him and because of his mania he now has felony charges from an incident in the ER . We should of just tried a different medication instead of adding more to cover the side effects of the adderal. And his doctor is at a big psychiatric hospital here in our city. His reply after seeing him 7-8 years? I guess your medication wasn't working...Ya think?? But It is pretty much trail and error.
Another thing I can suggest is do the genesight testing. Easy swab inside the cheek and it will go with your DNA to see which drugs are good, which aren't. It's not a perfect science, but helps. My son was also on prozac before the ADHD meds and had horrible side effects from it. That was one drug listed he shouldn't take. If we only knew back then.
What you need is 2 people. A Md manage medication and a therapist for ADHD- they work together. It’s not the age of the professional it’s their experience and focus. This is a rapidly changing field. Start with a recommendation- try his old pediatrician they usually know therapists in the community. Another place for recommendations is chadd.org/ and add.org/.
We’re also struggling with our 21 yr old son. Recently diagnosed and struggling in college with so many things so he’s home this semester. One thing that his therapist (no real ADHD experience) had us do is an Accountability Sheet ,,, we all agreed to the items. One was serious exercise at least 6 times every 2 weeks. Waking up before 9 but preferably before 8. Staying on top of classes (might not apply). Learning more about Executive Functioning and accessing college counseling / study habits. If he has a positive “check in” with us every 2 weeks he gets $50 in clothes or a golf lesson. We eat extremely healthily (he snacks on crap). He also smoked a ton of weed ,.,, had a seizure a year ago from smoking, had stitches from falling while drunk … it hasn’t been pretty. But he’s doing less of that (having a serious girlfriend has helped). I am reading every reputable book and looking on CHADD and ADDA websites for webinars and have also checked out some coaches.
The woman who diagnosed him (Anxiety and ADHD) told him “you are incredibly bright and you can run your life the right way or the hard way (referring to weed and alcohol use). She also reminded him that he’s 21 and mom and dad are here to help him but we need to let him fall sometimes too. That’s one of the hardest things. I wish the best for you and your son. He is so fortunate to have a dad that loves him so much.
Ditto the recommendation that you want a psychiatrist AND a therapist. You're right psychiatrists don't spend a lot of time with patients. They prescribe meds--usually in appointments every three months. Now, if you go outside of insurance, you can find a psychiatrist who spends more time with your son.
But the weekly therapist meeting is where there is time to talk and to work on non-medical solutions. I do both: therapy and psychiatry.
You can also google online for ADHD coach ... there are some good ones out there. And that can often by done online ... over the internet.
The mistake many people make is to not pursue therapy. The meds don't automatically build confidence, meds don't undo all the painful experiences brought about by ADHD. Therapy can work through old pain and build confidence and even help understand how you can work around the condition or outsmart the condition.
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