seeking support and resources

[Awhite0020]

Hello,

My partner was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago and I have been looking for an online platform who is dedicated to supporting individuals with ADHD. We are most interested in finding a company who focuses on helping patients understand their individual needs while helping to build a life long plan of support. Does anyone have any recommendations or personal experience with different online platforms?

Thank you so much for you time!

[kshapiro]

Why do you want a company? Are you hoping to pay a flat fee and get mediation and therapy for it? If so, I wouldn't trust anyone doing that because the incentives aren't aligned. They will be incentivized to provide as little service as possible at as little risk to themselves as possible. Speaking from experience, I tried one of those services for depression, and I was suicidal, and they wanted me to be on non-effective first dose of my first antidepressant for six weeks before they saw me again. If I had stuck with their service it would have taken me months to get any relief from my depression. I have no faith that any ADHD service could be any better, given the liability associated with scheduled drugs. Instead I have a remote therapist I found online through a directory. After free chats with several therapists, she was the one who seemed the most knowledgeable and helpful, and she has been worth every penny. And I have a local psychiatrist who I was referred to by the local E.R. I know it can take a long time to get in with a psych in most places, though. But it's like, how much time and money has your partner wasted in their life so far due to ADHD? That's how I justify spending money on my mental health. Treating my ADHD appropriately saves me so much money, it's worth finding the right people and paying them.

[Gettingittogether]

Therapy and medicine are the treatment--and neither comes from companies.

You can work out a long term plan ... really for ADHD ... initially a short and medium term plan with a good therapist ... and you work with an md (ideally a psychiatrist) to try various medications to provide help with focus and energy and concentration.

Now, you could also google "ADHD Coach" and there are a ton of coaches out there, and some can be really helpful. I've gone to therapy, take medication and hired a coach shortly after I got diagnosed.

One point I hate to make: why isn't your partner on here making this request. ADHD does not favor passive people. You have to take a very active role in treatment. The condition is frustrating and baffling ... it's not a treatment where you do X, and you get Y result. You might have to try out a range of strategies and a range of medications to get to significant life improvement. The ADHD person has to really fight for this, fight for themselves.

Also, lots of people with ADHD have addictions, compulsions along with depression and/or anxiety. So the ADHD person has to really educate themselves. Overlooking depression can undermine ADHD treatment.

[JackieID in reply to Gettingittogether]

You are right. partners helping us it is not the best thing to do with us.

[Betsy74]

Hello, it sounds like you are looking for a coach. I have an ADHD specific coach who helps me develop the tools and strategies to function better, and to stop giving myself such a hard time. In addition she supports me with coming to terms with the late diagnosis. ( for completeness of the info I am also on medication which is prescribed by my GP under a shared care arrangement and I see the diagnosing psychiatrist currently 6-monthly but likely to extend out to yearly after the next one - was more frequent when titrating meds). Agree that your partner needs to be active in this but totally appreciate their may be many reasons you have posted instead of them such as lack of IT literacy and this doesn’t mean they are being passive. I hope you both find what you are looking for.

[Jozlynn]

Hello Awhite0020! I want to say thank you on behalf of someone with ADHD who wished she had a partner as willing as you to actively seek out ways to help. I commend you for being supportive and proactive as a support to your partner. My husband is supportive and wonderful, but he doesn't actively seek information or ways to learn. He reads it if I send it to him though. Since your partner has been diagnosed, I'm assuming they're already seeing a psychiatrist? I highly recommend an ADHD coach for your partner, assuming they already have a psych. MaxLawrence.co is an excellent ADHD coach that I work with (he's not my coach, he's a friend - but we do work together because I am a virtual assistant for folks with ADHD). I've seen him work magic with ADHDers (I join his group coaching call every Tuesday). He too is ADHD, and he's brilliant at coaxing out of people what they're going through, and ways to help. Just a recommendation, since there really are a ton of coaches out there - and it can be a challenge to find one that really works well with your own personality. Unfortunately, there is no easy fix with ADHD - it's all dependent upon everyone's own brand of ADHD. What meds work, what co-morbidities might exist, etc. It's trial and error, but speaking as one who was diagnosed at age 50 and who has finally found the right combination of meds, therapy, and help - it's life-changing when you feel like you have some measure of control over it. It's easy to allow oneself to be ruled by our ADHD, but if you fight to gain mastery of it, you feel less like you're constantly being led around through life by the nose. I wish you both all the best!