Seeking support

[m0nkeybrain_826]

Hi community,

I just joined today looking for a solid support group. I am committed to nonmedical treatment for my symptoms, as I am a new(ish) mom and the side effects of stimulant medication were debilitating for me - even small doses had a major impact on my personality and caused me to withdraw from my family. I also have had issues with addiction in the past and don't want to go down that road. I stopped taking my medication (with the support of my doctor) on April 30.

Since then, my lack of focus and its impact on my work has spiraled out of control, and I am seriously close to losing my job as a marketing VP. Projects are piling up, but I feel paralyzed. Overwhelmed. Unable to do even the smallest task because all I can see is the "big picture" and think...this will NEVER get done. I work remotely but recently got an office in a coworking spot hoping it would make a difference to be away from the distractions at home, but it turns out I can sit an stare at my screen or go down a mental rabbit hole wherever I am, even in my new office.

At home, I can get things done when I need to. I keep the house relatively tidy, baby gets good food, and I cook most nights (but skip breakfast and lunch a lot of days).

I know meditation and exercise are critical factors, but I'm also very concerned that slow, steady progress won't come fast enough to get me out of this mountain of "work debt" I have accumulated.

People who are managing their symptoms: What did you do, and how did you get there? Is there a daily schedule you use or recommend? Any help or suggestions will be accepted with gratitude, as I truly feel alone and overwhelmed in my struggle.

[LoveHerADHD23]

My wife had the same issues over the last year or so. Seemed that getting a regular schedule on sunlight and exercise helped, as well as journaling and talking through feelings. The "work debt" is a valid concern. Are you comfortable asking for help from family or friends? Being a new parent means any little bit helps - an easy meal, five minutes to shower, or folding towels can make all the difference.

I would keep your care team informed on how you are feeling. Maintaining therapy helps, and the medication can be readdressed as things change.

I hope that helps!

[NYCmom2]

Welcome to the community! I’m so sorry you’re in this place of overwhelm.

I had undiagnosed ADHD until age 40. At the time my kids were 7 and 10. Up until getting treatment (therapy, medication and education) I would neglect my own needs prioritizing kids, work and home then feel burnt out to a dangerous degree.

You’re juggling a baby, your basic needs, full time work and you say you cook the dinners, take care of the home. Let’s be honest as a woman you’re likely managing EVERYTHING connected to the children, home, food, scheduling, planning, anticipating of needs, bills, communicating with friends and family etc. Each of these domains takes up a ton of your mental and emotional capacity.

Google: MENTAL LOAD, Default Parent

Do you have enough support: therapy, house keeper, child care? Is your partner sharing the mental load: child related work and home/life related work? Not just cherry picking a few visible things and asking you to task delegate.

Have you talked to your health care provider about your medication concerns and what alternatives there are to stimulants?

Helpful Podcasts

Women & ADHD, Interviews with Katy Weber

Vision Driven Mom with ADHD: Tracy Nolin Beerman

What Is The Mental Load? The Invisible Labor Falling On Women's Shoulders

mindbodygreen.com/articles/...

NPR Article: Women are earning more money. But they're still picking up a heavier load at home

npr.org/2023/04/13/11689613...

There are older posts here they you can search which offer advice on vitamins and routines that can help. An ADHD coach might be helpful.