Repetition

[HxaroClo]

Hey Fam!

I am on the seventh day of eating and wearing the exact same thing. I bought seven outfits that are the same and the same for food. Does anyone else do that? I hadn't even noticed. It wasn't done purposefully.

[StressedOutMum999]

Hi,

My daughter goes to wear the same thing all the time. She’s got loads of clothes, but only wears a few. Her diet is also very repetitive, even though I try to get her to have more variety. She eats the same breakfast and dinner every day. Lunch is the main meal here, so that’s the only meal I get her to have any variety because I make it. She usually complains about what I give her lol.

[wtfadhd]

im actually the exact opposite! i thrive on variety regarding things that are in my control like clothing, food, etc. its so peculiar about how all of our ADHD symptoms show up different

[STEM_Dad]

I am male, and I've observed that this is typical behavior among males. We tend to wear same-looking outfits "because that's our style". We tend to eat the same few foods "because that's what we like". It's a matter of opting to use our decisive brainpower for other things, like work or hobbies.* That being said, not all guys are the same. Some are very expansive in clothing and dining tastes. My dad's wardrobe may be as limited as mine, but he is passionate about food and always willing to try something new, whether ordering or cooking.

Now, if this is a recent change for you, then there's an underlying reason for it, whether you know what it is or not. It may be significant, it may not be.

If this is normal for you, then that's just you.

(Note: I used to be hampered by chronic indecisiveness, but when I began taking ADHD medication, that went away. Now, I can much more easily weigh my options and come to a decision. I'm still pretty much stuck in my ways with my style of clothing, but I am now a bit more exploratory with many other things: what to eat, what to do, where to go, etc.)

[STEM_Dad in reply to STEM_Dad]

I've noticed that people I've known who have ASD (autism spectrum disorder) may have such limited scope in tastes.

If it's a recent change, then it may be a sign of some change in state in psychology (e.g. depression) or physiology (e.g. sleep deficiency, vitamin D deficiency, hypothyroidism, etc.). (All of these conditions I've mentioned have affected me or a member of my family, and seemed to affect decision making.)

In any case, if you are concerned by this, talking with a counselor or doctor would be a good idea.

[HxaroClo in reply to STEM_Dad]

It is funny thinking of symptoms as an overlay to who I was am and would be without disorders. Who I am without symptoms of binge eating is totally different than active binging. However, I cannot even think of who I am without ADHD, it rules every thing. Managing it is far different for me than managing any thing else in life. I asked on this forum about repitition because it has been amazing to me to learn how ADHD contributes to things that I have wrestled with for years. And to learn why! I wish there was a forum like this for eating disorders.

Im not sure that my food and clothing choices is an ADHD thing. If so it is one of the few things in my life not related to ADHD.

[STEM_Dad in reply to HxaroClo]

Well, there are forums for eating disorders. I just don't know if they are anything like this one.

google.com/search?q=forum+f...

It makes me wonder... The different behaviors might be considered compulsive. Have you considered being evaluated for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?

OCD and ADHD are comorbidities with each other fairly often. (OCD is rarely as severe or obvious as the stereotype, e.g. TV detective from years ago "Monk".)

* I suspect that I had been affected for years by a form of OCD that's called "scrupulosity" (never diagnosed; I only figured out when the symptoms STOPPED occurring). You've probably heard the term "compulsive liar" sometime in your life. I was the opposite, I felt compelled to always tell the truth (even when it was imprudent); I also had an impossibly high standard for my own conduct (e.g. never uttering any profanity), and berated myself for any slight infraction.

* I'm much better now, but it took a life-altering jolt to snap me out of it, after being in that mode over 30 years.

[HxaroClo in reply to STEM_Dad]

Yeah, there really aren't eating disorder forums that are like this for folks like me. I binge eat. Not at all uncommon for ADHDers Part of it I think is because binge eating is so new to DSM classification. Maybe 15 years? Even with acknowledgement that talk about stigma! Say you have anorexia and everyone is like oh poor thing, eat a little something. If you binge eat folks are like you overeating monster, don't you have control?!

Unrelated...

I do wonder sometimes if I have some low level OCD. I am compelled to do some things.

Restaurants are an example. I am a world traveler with an experienced palette. Yet, I will almost always order the same thing or a variation of that anywhere in the world. I can't even help it. When I try not to. I am so disappointed.

[STEM_Dad in reply to HxaroClo]

I'm surprised that it's so hard to find support for binge eating. I've observed it so much that I believe it to be one of the most common types of eating disorder. (I think it's far more common than anorexia. Bulimia is less common than anorexia, and involves body image distortion, binging and purging.)

I know that the behaviors of anorexia or bulimia are very harmful to the body, so they often require medical intervention. I think that only binging is seen as within normal behavior.

But if you have a compulsion to binge, it seems to point to another issue. Combined with the other tendencies, it made me think of OCD (but I am not an expert on this... I'm just a well-read armchair psychology student; for all I know, these behaviors of yours may not have any connection to each other at all).

=========

As for me, I've been doing a lot of getting to know myself better, lately.

I know that when I get anxiety or mildly depressed, I seek comfort. Sometimes, I will choose to get lost in a book. Sometimes, I'll eat meals of comfort foods. More often, I'll binge on TV, while eating a lot of carbs and sugar (probably half chocolate). Because I've gotten to recognize it with myself, I now know that the craving to binge is an indicator that my anxiety levels are rising.

* It's only the last several months that I've come to recognize this tendency fully. I've learned how to treat my anxiety early, and that helps to keep it from snowballing. The best emergency treatment I've found for me is to spend some time with a friend or family member. Anytime treatments include mindfulness and CBT techniques I've learned.

* Truthfully, I had an unmet expectation, while I was married. (20 years together, recently divorced.) I thought that being married, the husband and wife were supposed to comfort each other when they were anxious, depressed, scared, uncertain, etc. I tried my best to do all those things for her, but when I really needed her support I felt like she wasn't there for me. ... After a lot of learning about relationships this last year, I found out that's a modern fairytale mindset. One person cannot meet all your needs. It's important to have a group of friends that you can engage with outside the marriage/relationship. I I've also learned to recognize the signs of when I need a professional counselor, and go get the help.

So, I know my trigger for the binge eating. Hopefully you can figure out yours, and what helps you to address the urge.

[HxaroClo in reply to STEM_Dad]

Yeah, when I thought back I realized that if left to my own devices there were always complaints about my food and clothing. My mom picked out my clothing until I went away to school. If she didnt I would wear the same pair of jeans and tshirt . In college I dressed to impress, even then it was a variation of two or three shirts and 2 pair of jeans. I had and habe a closet full of clothes.

I have an eating disorder, so when im binging I crave food, but when im not, and this has been my entire life I could be happy eating rice for dinner every night or asparagus or whatever.

[STEM_Dad in reply to HxaroClo]

So this just seems typical for you, and that's okay. You are who you are.

If you want to change from this, then you probably can.

There's an old joke that says, "How many psychiatrist's does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the lightbulb has to WANT to change."

If you're okay with the way you are, then be okay with it, and don't let your mom or anyone else try to shame, coerce, or manipulate you into changing.

On the flip side, it's okay to experiment, to try new experiences. It doesn't change who you are. If you like the change, keep it (whether all the time or just occasionally is up to you).

(I don't think I've ever had an eating disorder. I do know that I crave carbs fairly often, and chocolate/sugar/fat when I'm feeling anxious.)

You are you-nique! You are the best you that there ever could be. Nobody else could ever be a better you than you already are!