Trouble getting started /finishing projects--but not at work...?

[PartialMetalJacket]

I have trouble getting started with home projects and tasks. And when I do get going (painting a room or cleaning the garage, for example) I can bog myself down by thinking too many steps ahead, feeling overwhelmed, and quitting too soon.

On a good day, I can pep-talk myself into getting started, completing one sub-task at a time then tackling the next. (Get the room cleared out, gather the paint supplies, spread the drop-cloth, etc...) Seeing results should be very motivating, you would think, but I find myself painting one wall or the ceiling then letting myself get distracted or lose interest, abandoning the job for a couple days to a week to my wife's dismay.

I find myself more successful seeing work-related projects to completion. I'm employed as an assistant instructor for a high school Automotive Service Technology program. I run the auto shop (my "happy place", by the way!) as though it were a licensed auto-repair facility so the students are better prepared to embark on automotive-related careers after graduation. This is far more rewarding to me.

[Gettingittogether]

You paint a familiar scenario ... ADHD is tricky. Here's my understanding. I'm also a teacher, and luckily I'm at a place that does not require a lot of paper work. So one, you probably got tons of adrenaline going at the job. Good adrenaline. You get to work and there are cars to be worked on ... and some pressure. Work has structure. Structure of arrival/departure ... kids to teach, material to cover, cars to work on ... and deadlines ...

One result of the structure of your job is that you cannot get lost in perfectionism ... the job basically stands as an external team encouraging you, closely monitoring you, telling you to focus. You don't have to fix things perfectly. You have limited resources. The cool thing about teaching is that so many factors encourage us away from perfectionism. You work with the flawed student in front of you. Just getting through the day is an accomplishment even if multiple things didn't go right.

On the home projects, you have no adrenaline, no time limits, no times you have to show up, no times you have to be done by, no supervisors overseeing you (even loosely). No one that has to give you a good enough review to keep your job.

Think of this way: I bet if you brought in a crew of kids for the home projects, suddenly, you'd focus. You would know they have X amount of time. You would choose projects and subprojects (as you do at work) that fit with X amount of time. You would get reasonable about what can be accomplished in this limited time. And you wouldn't allow yourself to waste time thinking and over-thinking your options. And once they're done because the whole situation encourages you to set small goals and to prioritize specific tasks, you'd have a sense of accomplishment. You would set reasonable goals and timelines. And you wouldn't be in space thinking about all your options.

There's a post below by someone who runs a business by themselves. Very hard, most of us, said, to motivate yourself without any external pressure or collaboration.

You have to set time limits at home. Do NOT go into a home project with infinite time, as in no time constraints. You have to impose time constraints on yourself. I'm going to work one hour on this. That's it. Be careful about raising the planned time, but on your own, setting more ambitious time goals often just leads to procrastination. Then the home projects just become a burden ... with none of the support structure of work.

You have to quit trying to do a perfect job on the home projects. Lower the goal to doing a good job or just doing the job at all, knowing that any work is an improvement. You might need to bring your wife into the planning stage. So that she signs off on the priorities and choices--taking you away from your no-limits dreaming. Most likely your wife only wants the things done--not amazingly done. I say own up to the ADHD no-limits, no-prioritization thinking and tap her brain for prioritizing ... keep the standard to "good" or just "done" ... and set some time limits.

You might also get some headphones and listen to music while working.

[PartialMetalJacket in reply to Gettingittogether]

Thank you!! I feel as though I've actually been heard almost for the first time in my life.

I've become more careful lately about my perfectionist attitude, recognizing how it can raise my expectations too high about the amount or quality of work produced by high school students, or about adolescent behaviors in the school setting.