I know there are people out there who wake up and can’t wait to get their day started. I don’t understand how anyone happily does that on a regular basis. I don’t think I can remember one day in my life where I couldn’t wait to get out of bed. I think the whole showering, drying hair, makeup, and getting dressed process overwhelms me. I’m fine once I get out of my house but the stress I feel over this small stuff that should be easy really holds me back from doing things I enjoy. Does anyone else have this issue? If so, have you done anything that helps make the process easier?
Does anyone else have trouble getting... - CHADD's Adult ADH...
Does anyone else have trouble getting up every morning?
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Halem1982
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I used to, but worked at a bar and worked 4-2am. Now I’m awake 6-8 and go to bed 7:30-10:30 depending. If I’m not on my adderall I will nap middle of the day.
Every day of my life.
The more of the literature you read, the more you'll encounter refrences to “the sleep of the dead”: ADHD includes significant differences from the majority sleeep patterns—melatonin surges happen at a different time, and dififculties with dopamine production mean the activation that goes with waking Just Isn't There, for many of us.
Some supplemental tyrosine (a conditionally-essential amino acid found normally in our diet) when I'm supposed to wake up helps clear the fog a bit faster than medication alone, presumably by ensuring a deficiency doesn't interfere with dopamine production.
Limiting stress is also important: turns out, cortisol interferes with dopamine production.
I don’t notice a difference when I take n-acytil tyrosine. I took that with a B vitamin, 70mg of vyvanse, 300mg of nuvigil, then still was sleepy so I took another 30mg of vyvanse and 100mg of nuvigil......then went to sleep a few hours later and just woke up but I doubt I’ll be getting out of bed until tomorrow morning.
The stress thing makes sense. I don’t know how to reduce stress when there’s not much I can do to change stressful circumstances in my life at the moment. Ugh, sleeping during the day sure doesn’t help. Lol
That it doesn't.
Some days, I resort to caffeine or just plain scare myself awake—fear of having to live undera highway bridge works to some extent.
That doesn’t work for me. Haha. I wish it did but the possibility of losing everything doesn’t motivate me at all. Geez, I’m so irresponsible.
Losing it all usually just means starting over: what scares me is losing even the ability to start over—build the wrong track record (difficult to avoid with ADHD), and it gets tough to convince anyone to afford one the opportunity.
I’m just now getting my career back on track since my meds stopped working in 2013. My pipeline of business was pretty much over by early 2015. I can’t go through that again, not this soon, it would be too much for me. I haven’t even had time to feel comfortable since I’ve made this comeback. Lol
Comfort is too rare a thing, in this life; and I could swear it's become moreso, over the years.
Man, I was too comfortable in 2012 and I’m so mad at myself for taking everything for granted. I had no idea my ass would be handed to me the following year. I learned not to take my career/financial situation for granted because it can always be taken away based on my mental instability alone. Nothing is ever easy and I’m fully aware that will probably never change.
Heck, it can all be taken away based on nothing whatsoever: had that happen more than enough to convince me.
What industry are you in?
I rarely stay in the same industry from one job to the next, because my profession (which doesn't change) tends to require enforceable non-competition agreements. I've written firmware for so many products with embedded microprocessors, over the last thirty years, that I've lost count; but chances are you've used something with my code in it, at some point in your life.
That sounds really cool even though I have no idea what you’re talking about
Nice. Ur a low level dude. That's badass- what devices have you written firmware for?
It runs a very wide gamut: floppy disc controllers, automotive hvac, breathalyzers, cooking ranges, infant incubators, surgical power tools, cordless telephones, televisions, multifunction print devices, vault locks, remote electric meter-reading systems, check printers, fitness tracker armbands, solar panel microinverters, serdes cores for PHY and switch ICs, reticle-handling robots in IC lithography systems, cellular-network-connected GPS tracking devices for rental cars, ...
Are you EE or comp sci? Hmm. I might have some tech questions for u sometime if u don’t mind.
As EE as it gets, though I can hold my own with the CS crowd. Helps that I actually “get” processor microarchitecture, compiler theory and other things that make for an atypical combo. I even understand the people in sales and the problems they face: benefit of growing up in a family with a business that employed anywhere from a handful to dozens at any given time.
Searching for my next gig, now: a few months after my boss went to significant trouble to hire me (following several months as a contractor), someone at corporate-officer level decided to eliminate my position, based on changing revenue expectations—fortunately, the ex-boss has a solid network, locally, and has been able to pass a few opportunities my way.
Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to figure out the remote to my tv. Lol
I could swear, SO many embedded devices like that seem to be designed by idiots: they should NOT be difficult to use, and there should be no need for what we called a “Useless And Don't Care Guide” when I was in the Consumer Electronics industry.
I often find myself telling people, “If whoever designed that had been working for me, I would have fired them for incompetence”. Idiot geeks don't think about how the product will actually be used.
Of course, it's been my job, at times, to set such people straight, after reviewing their poor designs—sometimes without the benefit of any common language other than math!
I have this same issue with graphic design people who are definitely talented but they don’t know anything about real estate so naturally, there’s a disconnect. So I’m confused....do you create software? Programs designed for a specific purpose in various industries? My wheels are turning FYI.
My take on the hierarchy of tech degrees:
Information systems at the bottom (focus on putting systems & networks together for the enterprise)
Computer science is next up (with more focus on software development and algorithms)
Computer engineering (a cross between comp sci and EE)
Electrical engineering (these guys are a special breed).
The code I write is loaded at time of manufacture and may never be changed. Large production volumes may still have code literally built into the chip during lithography—what we call “mask ROM”—where it can't be changed without scrapping the part (or likely the entire board, nowadays).
Needless to say, the bar for “good enough” is a lot higher: had one company that was prevented from making a timely offer hired me, a few years ago, a field failure in my code could have meant spending millions to pull up miles of instrumented cable from the seafloor.
Being accustomed to such stakes, I don't suffer shoddy design gladly.
I’m a graphic design geek AND I know some stuff about real estate and architecture and space planning and fine art; as well as location values and color wheel, typography, interior and industrial design, gardens and the value they can add to a property. I know that too many people reject a great house because of crappy carpet or paint, totally ignoring the actual ‘bones’ of a house (how do you not strangle such people is beyond me).
I also get what firmware does and how it’s supposed to work. I also get databases and the principals behind them (such as normalization).
I have over 21 years of management experience, including project and product management, hiring/firing, performance reviews, creating job sharing experiences, group presentations, bridging sales and creation teams, systems integration and ‘switching” publication and design, and a lot more.
This is a small part of a list that has stalled somewhat; mostly due to an extended period of clinical depression that is treatment resistant as well as several new disorders and a significant increase in my ADHD/ADD symptoms.
The state of Ohio has classified me as significantly and profoundly disabled, so does Social Security. I get $500/month in SSI benefits, and that’s it, plus a decent Medicaid managed care plan. I should be getting the full $750/month except SS thinks my mom pays or buys $26.00/month in food so my monthly payment is cut by one third. Needless to say I am appealing that decision.
Unless I am able to somehow get a job that will put up with the days I cannot get out of bed, or any of my other symptoms, my retirement years are going to be hideous.
I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 26. Before that, I had been treated for depression on and off my whole life and it never worked. It was only when my adhd was properly managed that my depression subsided. My current psychiatrist keeps trying to put me on antidepressants but I know that’s not the answer for me. My depression right now is situational, which I believe is making my adhd meds feel like they’re less effective, which makes my depression worse, and the cycle continues. I’m really trying to take care of the things that are causing my depression but like everything, it will take time. I know what you mean about the job thing. If I had to be out of bed and at a job every day, I don’t think I’d be able to do it. My friend has adhd too and she just started a job in sales that allows her to take 1-2 house calls each evening to sell water filtration systems. Before that, she was struggling too. You sound intelligent and creative enough to figure out a career that makes you happy that isn’t the conventional 9-5 job. Real estate was the first thing I’ve ever been passionate about and I was broke for the first few years but I stuck with it because I loved it. I don’t do it for the money because if I did, I’d be way more successful. I have to have my Monday’s where I don’t get out of bed. I had to have a career that allowed me to go to rehab for 2 months in another state and not be fired. I think most of us have special needs with our work life and unfortunately, it has to be up to us to find a creative way around traditional work schedules. I wish you luck and don’t give up on having hope. It’s the only thing that has gotten me through tough times and I’m confident you will find your way.
See. I love EE people. I'm just a lowly CS guy but I'm infatuated with data science from the EE perspective (stochastic systems, real analysis, information theory, etc...)
I'm about to start research on building completely decentralized learning agents for my grad program. The first learning i want to build? Well I want to build a completely decentralized streaming radio platform that optimizes the playlists for groups of listeners. Except- since it's decentralized, the model gets built fully on the peer to peer network- which means users completely own the data. So companies like Spotify and Facebook no longer have the power to exploit your information.
I have an infatuation with pervasive systems. Mostly because I see there's a limited resource for people's attention span and most software product companies today are competing for your attention, not to build a superior product. I want to ride the IoT wave and build devices that can take a back seat, contextualize their environment, and allow people to remain human.
Devices that *don't* draw attention are my stock in trade: if they do draw attention, something is VERY seriously wrong.
Your application sounds like a potential blockchain use case, in order to enforce the decentralization even if some miscreant works out a way to subvert the protocol and harvest its data store.
Yes! That's a really good idea actually! I've been watching the blockchain wave from the decentralized establishment of trust perspective (not from the crypto perspective).
You two lost me again. I’m going to go back to being a dumb realtor now😂😂
Real estate has its own set of abstruse technicalities: you have to understand matters that baffle most anyone else without a JD!
As for blockchain, decentralized trust is THE major contribution: those who focus on the crypto (except as a facilitating mechanism for trust) are caught up in glitz and missing the point.
There's probably a parallel to neurotypical failure to understand ADHD, in there. Seriously: it's that big an alteration of perspective.
LOL. Yeah- well you know i had to say what I said because of how people hear blockchain and immediately think of crypto. Even a bunch of the engineers I work with.
If you just built the next generation architecture for decentralized trust management, wouldn't YOU build a currency as your first app?
Speaking of neurotypical features. I've also been doing some research on using tensor factorizations of fMRI data to investigate the patterns in brain activity that might lead to an objective diagnosis of things like alzheimers and ADHD. That's some interesting stuff!
I haven't had the free bandwidth to dive into that material, but it sure would be nice to have another arrow in the naysayer-silencing quiver.
The whole point of currency *is* transferable trust.
Yes- but rather than a "get rich quick", It should be looked at as a payment system, or a "customer appreciation token". It's unfortunate.
I’ve heard there will be dna tests to diagnose ADHD before too long.
Someone told me yesterday on campus "Honey, 90% of people have ADHD".
I'm thinking "Honey I don't know where u got that statistic, but I've never seen that before and quite frankly I think you just marginalized a condition that has some pretty shitty effects on my life"
I tend to want to say, “Honey, you try living my life for a week and not offing yourself before it's over: then, MAYBE you'll have earned some right to shoot your mouth off.”
Idjits. All of 'em.
So the person who told me that... was the head of the disability services @ UMBC. I was thinking- "lady, you know... ur not making this easier for me. It's bad enough I had to bite my pride to come in here to begin with".
Snap!!
Maybe some forms: I'm pretty certain it's a really a conflation of several different neurotypes, all with hereditary factors, that persist because there's still *just* enough selection pressure favoring them (as opposed to enough to make us the majority population, as may have been the case before agriculture—indeed, “Paleo” diets seem to work better than the mainstream does, for ADHD folks).
I only work with investors so numbers, vision, and creatively structuring deals are the main variables I have to work with. I only have about 3 clients and I can’t take on anymore at the moment. I love having a small circle of business associates who have become more like friends over the years. My job is fun because it’s rewarding to make these people happy and I get my rush on chasing the deals.
One of my clients was a keynote speaker at the last IoT consortium. There’s a lot of new technologies being created for homes but no one really knows if they’re even saving any energy usage at all. Qualcomm is working on a program to gather this data in several homes in and around the San Diego area. The results should be interesting.
I somehow missed this last night. If you don't mind me asking, what company does your client work for? Or rather, is their keynote published online somewhere? I come from a high performance computing background (pretty different than IoT) and I'm Interested in expanding my knowledge about IoT
I'm totally thinking IoT & decentralized systems are going to be the next wave of how we interact with technology. I don't think we're going to have single robots, but networks of pervasive/ubiquitous systems enhancing our lives in new ways.
I'm also very wary of tech & any one entity having too much power... Maybe I've read "Brave new World" one too many times, but i feel like SOMA is very much analogous to SOcial MediA (maybe this is my overactive mind/anxiety coming out).
I hate how Facebook exploits its users. The users are the product, not the customer. I think the data we generate belongs to us. If people want to sell it, they should be coming to us asking us for it (and giving us incentives to give it up). HadEnuf , see another blockchain opportunity here?
Fear just makes me freeze, so that won't work.
Halem, if the profile picture is really of you, skip the makeup. You look very good and don’t need it. Just maybe a lipstick and a mascara. Tell people that you are allergic to it. I am and makeup makes me relentlessly sneeze like I’m payed for it. I was in my 20’s in the 1980’s and we didn’t use makeup that much then. The natural look was more in then. Of course photoshop wasn’t around so no one expected to walk around in a photoshop version of ourself. So maybe it’s weird now not to have makeup on. IDK 😐 but I try to skip everything that stresses me out or at least minimize it. Shower for example is a pretty hard one to skip unless you plan on staying home.
Halem1982 in reply to
Thank you. I rarely wear makeup. I was happy in that pic and I feel like that makes a difference in the way I feel like I appear, if that makes sense. Also, my appearance is the least of my worries at the moment. I have real issues I need to overcome, and taking a shower is so difficult for me lately.
There are more mornings than not when I dread stepping under the water, even though I know it will feel good!
Why is that? I hate taking showers even though I love how I feel when they’re over.
I've never quite figured it out, other than they're something of a symbol of all that follows—the beginning of an inexorable process.
Hi-I'm new here, but wanted to weigh in on the shower issue. All my life I have had certain weird areas of my skin that I can't stand to be touched, especially wet. Don't know if this is a factor for anyone else, but I find it easier to aim the shower head away before I get in and turn the water on, and then I take it off the bracket (has a long hose) and spray the shower curtain liner with hot water so that it's not cold if I bump it during my shower. Weird, huh?
Mine is more of a lack of motivation. I’m pretty sure it’s more of a depression side effect for me
Ah, the shower is a hard one for me too some days. It’s hard, I know. Sometimes I open my eyes in the morning and the first thought is, I don’t really wanna be here, but I get up because my dog is next to me. She has kept me alive and been my companion for the past 11 years and I won’t let her down. I really hope you will feel better soon and that you get a decent doctor that you don’t have to dump because of incompetence. It sucks.
Halem1982 in reply to
Me too. My psychiatrist makes me feel crazy and I don’t think that’s the way it’s supposed to be.
No its not. ADHD symptoms untreated make us crazy and stress makes it so much worse. Let them try living with 10 seconds of working memory all day long and see how well they function.
Last time I saw my psych he told me I sounded manic and started talking about me possibly being bipolar. I was like really MF, you’ve been seeing me for 9 years and you’re just now figuring this out? I was manic because I had 15-20 minutes of his time and I was trying to hurry up and explain all the problems I’m currently having. I need a new psychiatrist but I’ve been to so many and they’ve all been the same.
Not to mention, bipolar and depression are THE common misdiagnoses of ADHD and the response to the difficulties it brings.
Yeah, I’m not bipolar. I’ve been on so many antidepressants that never worked before I was diagnosed with ADHD at 26. No one has ever mentioned bipolar to me and maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think that’s my issue. How would they test for that? It didn’t show up in my neuropsychological testing I had at Dr. Hallowell’s office in Boston but I don’t know if it would have?
I just had this exact same conversation with my therapist 2 weeks ago. I went through that crappy situation with Topamax and it literally made me bipolar for the time I was on it. Then my therapist said I was talking waaaayyy too fast and started hushing me up and telling me to focus on my breath. And that's exactly what I told him- that I only have an hour with him and I try to get everything out that I can.
So therapist was going to try to convince the psychiatrist I'm bipolar because I was "manic" when I got off the topamax. After being up for several days studying for midterms. Psychiatrist says "nope- ur reaction on topamax tells me you are NOT bipolar".
I had a doc practitioner try to tell me the same thing. Go watch Dr Russell Barkley - you will be able to address the mis-diagnosis.
I think I’ve watched everything he’s ever done that’s available online several times. He’s brilliant. I just started seeing Dr. Charles Parker and he thinks I have a metabolic issue and possibly a hormonal problem too. I’m having some tests done in a few weeks to know for sure.
Love him!!!
I call this phenomena "Groundhog's Day" syndrome--same daily grind over and over. With ADHD the novelty of life's responsibilities become less and less interesting so-to-speak. Like who goes to the grave wishing they did one more load of laundry? As such, I have chose a "Wallace and Grommet" approach to life's activities of living--automate and routine. Make those chores as easy and least time consuming. I downsized to an apartment and love it! That means more time doing other things--like paintball! Always remember...we don't "have" a nice day...rather we "make" it a nice day. So what are you going to do to make it a good day yourself?
I always take time each day to do something nice for me! Besides who is going to take better care of me than myself? Sometimes I'll take a warm bath and smoke my favorite tobacco in my pipe with a cocktail after a day's work, or go visit a hobby store I enjoy, work on a project I've been wanting to get too, or just window shop around town. Of course not everyday is going to be a winner--there are bad days--but I try my best to make the days I got left something to enjoy.
I hope I’ll gain that mentality through therapy. Nothing really makes me happy enough to motivate me to go do it. I’ve never been this bad but hopefully I’ll be better soon.
You can do it! We are here to cheer you on and build you up! It's hard to be an ADHDer. I know...I got some very collosal disability-employment challenges at the moment. I have filed a discrimination complaint with the EEOC.
What does that mean?
I have filed a complaint asserting my employer has failed to accommodate my ADHD at work when I made requests for changed at my job that would help me do my job, within reason of course. The employer did not within a reasonable time, so I have filed my complaint with the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission to investigate my claim and potentially pursue personal damages for violation the ADA and the interactive process laws.
Dr. Kevin Murphy in Massachusetts helps adults with ADHD with employment rights. I am pretty much my own boss so I don’t think this would help me. I have clients and they are all so great with me. I remember as I walked into a meeting 20 minutes late, one of them told me “Monica, don’t worry. We all know I’m not paying you to be on time.” Lol. They all know I went to rehab and the ones who mattered the most were supportive. I lost 2 clients when I went to rehab but since then I’ve moved onto much bigger deals that they wouldn’t have had a place in anyway. I’ve been able to be really open with them, which has been such a blessing because I know this isn’t the normal dynamic. I’m sorry for what you’re going through:/
Mornings and me do not get along. I am a night person, I rarely go to bed before 2am. As I looked up at the clock it is 1:55am. I have a Dr. app at 8am tomorrow, yeah! Actually , its today. My body does not wake up until 2-3pm. It's really strange, I can get up at 10, but I can't really do anything until then. Everyone tells me I need to go to bed earlier, I think I'm just either stubborn or stupid! lol
If I didn’t force myself to go to bed, I’d stay up until 4-5am every night. I’ve been trying to get my sleep patterns under control better because I feel awful when I’ve stayed up all night and I have to take my meds and work the next day. It has to be a pattern for me though. If I stay up one night, I will easily slip into that rabbit hole of insomnia. I have to take sleeping pills and I still have to make a conscious effort to got to sleep because if I don’t, the pills don’t even work. It helped when I was in a relationship a long time ago and I was able to jump on his sleep schedule.
I can relate! No matter what time I get out of bed, my mind doesn't really function until about 11am. And, everyone who knows me well knows to work around that.
Me too. It’s embarrassing at times because all of my clients are up so early.
I spend an hour doing nothing but waking up. I brew coffee, watch uplifting videos and have 3 separate alarms set: get up, shower, leave. Planning my clothes the night b4 helps but I dont always do it or always pay attention to alarms. It is alot to do everyday before you even start your work day. Not having to rush helps.
My work schedule is a blessing and a curse because I don’t have to be anywhere everyday. It’s weird because I wake up without an alarm, take my meds, go back to sleep, but I don’t ever want to get up.
Not wierd not to want to get up. Stress combined with minimal structure create alot of this. ADHD can also produce extreme emotional responses. Ive been accused of being a drama queen all my life but it's the low functioning of frontal lobe, making it difficult to filter and control emotional responses.
I don’t know how to get my stress under control, especially when I just want to sleep all day. My place is a wreck, which drives me insane but it’s at the point where I don’t even know where to start. I’m out of anxiety medication and I can’t get it filled for another month. I’ve never run out of it before because I don’t usually take it every day. The dose is so low that I’ve always taken 2 for it to work but it didn’t matter because I rarely took it.
People must be careful. Even a person without a disability could be protected under the ADA. People that are merely regarded as having a disability by others, when in fact they do not, the can qualify for accommodations under ADA. People should not be discussing your private health information without your consent. Now your rights. I can help direct anyone to some online resources for any disability-employment difficulties. We all deserve to be productive members of society and have meaningful employment.
I’m contract labor. I have a great career and it will be better once I get through this depression and stress I’m dealing with. Is there any way the ADA will help with the IRS?
I would recommend talking with a bankruptcy attorney--one of the best things I have done post-divorce. People are often afraid of what bankruptcy and how it might adversely affect them, when in fact those fears are simply not true. If I recall correctly, IRS tax liabilities can be included in a personal bankruptcy and get you back on track to a life free of financial distress.
I have no assets or crazy amounts of debt from anyone except the IRS. I’m trying to work out an offer in compromise. Is there a cap on the amount of income I make that would prevent me from being eligible for bankruptcy?
There are different types of bankruptcy. For example, a Chapter 7, which does have income limits. However a Chapter 13 does not. This is why I recommend you speak with a bankruptcy attorney. A consultation should be confidential and free--and they should be able to answer all your questions. They will give you the facts so you can decide if those are the best options for you.
I literally have zero assets to protect and the offer in compromise will probably be my best option. There are guidelines I need to meet to make the OIC successful and I’m currently working on getting those things in order. I have a really good plan after talking to my CPA and a tax attorney. It’s just a matter of me doing my part to take action instead of sitting stagnant and doing nothing like I’ve been doing. My therapist actually said he’d help me with this issue too.
I would say you are on the right track! Hang onto the bankruptcy get-out-of-jail card until you need it and wait for the IRS decision to play out. Stressful I'm sure--but having filed for bankruptcy myself, I can assure you that your not in any imminent financial risk. And as a business owner, if you lose a client, you only lose part of your income. Employees on the other hand, if they lose a job...they lose all their income!
Wasn't it a relief though to finally be validated by a professional who researched our brain condition and understands what we have to deal with? I know it was for me. This condition has caused me to isolate, because I just cannot emotionally cope with so many people giving me their advice/ opinions , well meaning or not, on a condition they know so little about and seem too close minded to even want to educate themselves about.
I’ll feel so much better once my medications work again, if they ever do. But yes, the validation helps. One of my psychologists told me “I feel like you’ve felt misunderstood your whole life” and she couldn’t have been more accurate.
I have never been a morning person and I think the greatest help for that was recognizing it and deciding this was simply how it is and not a character flaw. So step one was “be kind to yourself”.
Step two builds on step one. If you already know you aren’t a morning person, then do as much of your “morning stuff” as you can at night so it isn’t there waiting for you. Pick out your clothes, pack your lunch, set up the coffee pot so you just have to press the button. Why not shower at night instead of the morning?
My kids know I don’t “do” mornings which also includes not signing permission slips or writing checks in the morning. Unless it is an emergency, don’t ask me about an after school ride or activity-this did not just pop up at 6 am. You knew about it all evening and if you can’t be bothered to get off your phone and tell me about it in the evening, then it isn’t important to me either.
The other thing I do is set multiple alarms. I suffer from “oh, I’ll just ______” fill in the blank with activity I think takes only 2 minutes and actually takes 10 like loading the laundry, emptying the dishwasher or whatever so I have an alarm set called “GET IN THE CAR” and when that one goes off I know I need to drop what I’m doing. We have Alexa so I find it very helpful to check the time and then ask Alexa to set a timer for 10 minutes or something like that. It really helps me stay on track.
I don’t have a schedule. It might be easier if I had to be somewhere every day but I work from home. I get too distracted in an office and I don’t get anything done.
Well, you don’t have a schedule set up by your office but you can absolutely have a schedule. You simply make it for yourself. I am a very strong advocate of the power of routine. Routines create structure which is something we need. I would very highly recommend that you create your own schedule. Your “get in the car” may be “get to your desk” in your home office, logged in and responding to emails and calls and getting your day started. I create all sorts of routines for myself. They keep me from forgetting the various tasks I perform. To my great delight, I’ve found that by creating these work routines (and home routines) I’ve developed some pretty good habits that leave me feeling “off” when I don’t do them! Yay progress! Today I’m working from home, which could be a big disrupter for me, but I’m simply transferring my work routine to home and maintaining my “schedule”. It’s a work in progress to be sure but I’ve found by doing this that I am able to take on more work and be an even more valuable member of my work team. As I tell my boyfriend all the time “routines will set you free”Lol!
You’re absolutely correct. My ex boyfriend has ADHD but his parents sent him to boarding school when he was younger then he graduated from Harvard. He’s always had so much structure that he hasn’t had to take medication to control his ADHD. He makes his bed every morning and does laundry every Sunday. Medication would probably help with his moodiness. Lol. I need to figure out something I could routinely do every day. I think it would help. It’s 10am and right now I don’t plan on getting up until 11am so I can go to my psychologist.
I can recommend the "Flylady" website for establishing a simple household routine and you could use it as a basis for establishing a work routine. For example, for my work I have to order materials as well as enter customer POs into our order fulfillment system. I check our order sheet first in the morning and place my material orders. Then I check for customer POs and enter them as well. After that I am usually doing some sort of billing or cost analysis (I'm an accountant) but those very throughout the month depending where I am int he billing cycle. So I check my work calendar to see what's going on. After lunch I repeat the same order review, receipt in the invoices and then take about 15 minutes to review what is upcoming and enter reminders into my calendar. Things which fall "out of cycle" are also added to my personal calendar as a quick reminder so I am reminded in the evening at home of things that are coming up. One off to do items are left in my inbox and not filed so I am constantly reminded of them as I review my email and I do not forget them. I also use a lot of post its. Once I establish a habit - which usually takes about a month or two for it to be pretty ingrained - I start setting another one. The one I am working on right now is work journaling so I can keep a better record of how I have addressed problems and have a single source of history on those items.
Before I go home at night I clear my desk, file papers which need to be filed, create a short to do list to review in the morning the next day and get ready any work papers I need. I also go back and review anything in process and see if I need to set up any follow-up reminders for those items in my calendar. I made a rule for myself, pop ups and alarms can be snoozed (only for 10 minutes) but they can never be cleared until the reason for them is completed. No "ignoring" alarms. It takes self discipline but I needed to do this for myself and to be a model to my kids.
So when I work from home, I follow these same paths and it keeps me on track. To be honest, there is more distraction at home than at work but using this strategy has really kept me focused.
I used to be a secretary and managing someone else's schedule gave me training for creating my own.
I totally get where you’re coming from on working from home. Good ideas. Thanks
When I read what you all (including me) have written here, it feels like we are all the same person. We all have exactly the same difficulties in life. It’s really nice to be here, because only we can understand each other. I know people that don’t have ADHD would just give me a blank stare if I talked about what we talk about here.
Halem1982 in reply to
Hahahaha, I know what you mean. We should all try to meet up at the CHADD or ADDA conference this year. There are people like us everywhere and we are all so understanding and supportive of one another. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. Everyone is so inclusive in everything and it’s one of the few times in my life where I didn’t feel like I was on the outside looking in. I was part of the group and everyone seemed so much more relaxed. The people there truly care about all of our well being and they try to send us off with the skills to cope with things on a daily basis. I definitely want to go to the conference in November. I just need to figure out the dates and location so I can start planning for it now. I hope I’m able to meet people I communicate with on here!
We make a pretty good—and certainly not boring—tribe.
I’m excited to go this year in a more clear frame of mind, and I’m even more excited to see, thank, and hug all of the people who went out of their way to try to help me find the help I needed. St. Louis though? I’m basing this on nothing but it sounds like a place that might be cold in November. I didn’t even own a real winter coat until I had to get one for the CHADD conference in DC a few years ago.
Having lived there for a winter, it can be. (Technically, I was in St. Charles, just outside STL county—which excludes the city, as that is independent and not in any county).
It doesn't get the really bitter weather, as it's too close to the Gulf: they don't handle snow much better than most of Texas. However, the place gets a LOT of ice storms. I was without electricity for several days after one of them: my porch became my fridge and frozen stuff got cooked on a camp stove before it spoiled. A colleague living near Creve Coeur was camping at home for a solid week.
If I went to STL, I'd have to make sure to get to an Imo's and to a Lion's Choice...difficult to explain to those who aren't familiar.
I meant to put my comment here about the 'long lost tribe'. Anyway, Amen.
ScatteredOverwhelmed in reply to
Yeah, I feel like I've found my long lost 'tribe'!
Sorry, being new I guess it's gonna take a while to learn how to post comments here.
You’ll be fine. This group, of all people, should be pretty easy going about mistakes that don’t even really matter. Lol
I want to go. I want to go. November, where will it be? Now I’m excited
Love it 😍 I’m going. I’ll be there for sure
Halem1982 in reply to
As soon as I can register, I’m going to so I’ll definitely go!!
I’ve missed the last two years so I definitely want to go this year!
Yup me too 😁
I’m definitely going, I’m going to get a ticket as soon as they have them for sale. I’m looking forward to meet you Halem 😊 or at least, right now I’m hoping we will meet 👋🏼
We definitely will! When it gets closer to the conference, they will give us a schedule of who will be talking about what topics etc so you can decide which ones you want to go to. Most of ours will probably be the same since we are adults with ADHD.
Every day I have that problem with waking up; My solution is if I have to get up earlier I take Wellbutrin XL early and feel great at wakeup time. Fully focused.
So you don’t take Wellbutrin every day? My dr prescribed Wellbutrin to me once and my depression got way worse, but I’m not sure if it had anything to do with the drug. I wasn’t suicidal on it but I didn’t want to wake up when I went to sleep so my dr took me off of it.
Me. Every day of my life. Your post sounds like something I have said time and time again. I dread my morning routine sooooo much that I procrastinate it until the very last minite!
I want to be a morning person, but I guess it's just not meant to be!
Honestly, I’m not even sure if it is mornings I dread so much but I definitely don’t like them at all. I really hate getting ready to do anything no matter what time of day it is even if it’s something I really want to do.
Welcome to the club Part of ADHD is time blindness so we don't process time as others do. Probably explains how when I was writing a research paper I literally spent three straight days reading academic journals and writing. Thankfully I slept for 15 hours the 4th day and then revised the jibberish I scribbled down the 3rd day. It was kind of interesting to read, I would just stop in the middle of a sentence and go on to the next though and then pick up the incomplete sentence several sentences later.
Now I make it a point to listen to meditation videos on youtube when I am getting ready to sleep.
Omg when I write anything (mostly property descriptions because I’m a realtor), it takes me way longer than it should and I’ll write sentences then organize/rearrange them later. I usually jot down my jibberish then I prefer to hire a creative writer to make it sound good. Lol. I started writing one today......
“Beautifully restored home in Riverside Terrace, originally designed by Dixon & Ellis architects. Historic finishes from the notable Elkins family of the V&E Houston law firm lend a classic touch as they’ve been repurposed from their iconic John Staub home built on land they purchased from the Farish family, who founded Exxon. Blah blah blah something about owning a piece of Houston history.”
That is true. Not sure why ADHD people have trouble writing stuff down, for the most part we are awesome story tellers. About the bazillionth time someone said to me, "That was a great story - you should write that down." Only to sit down and write something and all of a sudden I can't get started. I started using a tape recorder and have had some luck with software that turns spoken words into written ones. Seems to work.
Not sure if you still need help, but what gets me out of bed is putting my phone (I use my phone for an alarm) on the floor where I can't reach it from my bed. This way I can resist using it instead of going to sleep, and when my alarm goes off I am forced to get out of bed and I can't just keep hitting snooze for all eternity.
I don’t ever use an alarm because I don’t ever sleep very hard. I always seem to be able to feel tired as soon as the sun starts coming up. I started taking a sleeping pill called Sonata and it kind of helps but I can take it and still completely miss the small window of slight drowsiness it causes. It’s definitely better than it was before and even though I still have 1-2 nights a week where I don’t sleep much (if any) at all, I don’t feel as stressed and I’m not as physically uncomfortable as I was a few months ago. Part of my issue was allowing myself to stay up too late then at midnight I’ll feel like it’s still early then 2am rolls around and I’m like efff it, this night is ruined. Lol
Re: getting out of bed - I am very similar. I keep my pill (Vyvanse) and a glass of water next to my bed and I set my alarm to take it about 1 hour before my actual wake-up time. I've found it kicks in and helps give me the motivation and alertness to actually get out of bed without hitting snooze a million times. I can usually fall back asleep for the hour or so after I've taken it too. Worth a try if you haven't tried it already. Good luck!
That used to work for me when I first started Vyvanse. Ahhhh, it was amazing. I’d take it around 5am then I’d go back to sleep and by 6-6:30am I was up and ready to go hard at work. Those were the most productive years of my career and I’d give anything to have that feeling back. I still take Vyvanse but it doesn’t do anything for my unless I take it with Nuvigil at the same time, and even then it’s a mild reaction that I have to be careful not to sleep through after I take my meds. MKO84, you and I sound similar in the way we operate from thisbpost and another one we were both commenting on. Lol
Having the same problem. Wow this site is giving me goosebumps. You're telling my story. Now what?
I've learned, it's all small stuff. I've never been a morning person, so I take it one step at a time. I have to let the dog out. Thinking about everything at once is overwhelming. Pick one positive thing.
I can see this has been answered a bunch, but I use three alarms. One on my phone right beside me, one at the foot of my bed, and then a final one that I keep in the bathroom. At this time, the bathroom one is really helpful because I’m in a college apartment and don’t want to wake up my roommates. Then I also try to have everything ready. I like to work out, and so I have all my clothes set out, and my bag packed. The rest of my morning works in the same way where everything is a set routine that I don’t even have to think about, and it helps.
Hi Halem, I have had the same problem which actually started back in the day when I was going to school. It then carried on from age 15 when I started work. Every morning right through to adult hood I had the same issue. It was literally WW1 everyone morning with no letting up! Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer but if you happen to know how to do coding or programming, then there’s a website I could point you too. Unless you have already seen it. As Its been up a couple of times.
I lnow you've had tons of replies but thos helps me a lot! I turn on some pop rock music and lay there for a few or turn on an audible book on my phone thats interesting (the book Unfu*k Yourself is great at motivating me out of bed) and then I focus on getting just one little thing done and then convince yourself to do just one more and usually I progress out the door, ready for the day! Hope its going better.
Amen. I love my bed and I love sleeping but I do wish I was a morning person. I like watching the sunrise and I'm so much more productive in the mornings but these days are few and far between. Just stumbled upon this website and I'm excited to look into it further. I feel so alone
So true. No matter how much I would love to be an early riser and have a routine, I can never keep it going. I think the main reason is my inability to sleep well. My body clock seems best sleeping from 2 AM to 9 AM
Oh my, yes! I am trying to get up by 9:00am (retired) I am trying to go to sleep by 12:00am. My usual sleep pattern is 10 am and 2 am it works great for me! I am spending too much time online so trying stop the late night chatting! I make myself get out of bed at 9am after trolling the internet for an hour. I am proud of myself when I can control my self. The more we stick to schedules the better we feel about our accomplishments. Otherwise we are just flitting from one thing and another all day and have accomplished nothing! That is the way we are! Manage, manage manage your time. You will be proud of yourself!
Oh man that sucks and yes! I have not always been like this but family loss menopause depression make it really hard to see the god on everything. We are so hard on ourselves and I’m hard on others too ! This year I’m trying to be lighter and have more, well fun, with the people I love so they know how I feel about them. They say action’s speak louder than words so I’m working on that. Since I’m home, pandemic and all, I’ve been more forgiven about some stuff like nails hair makeup except for waxing. That’s part of my hygiene.
Anyways, hang in there and keep coming back. We can always just hear you vent. Nothing work every time and I’m learning to be forgiving with myself. Hope you can too.
Ah! I ask my hubby to open the blinds for me before he leaves to work. He wakes up super early and the daylight help me wake up. I also have an alarm set up for an hour earlier than when I need to wake up and have my meds. I go back to sleep and when the alarm buzz again it has been easier for me to get it up and get going. It’s been working for me. Hope it helps.
What about taking your shower at night, not right before bed because you'll wake up with crazy hair, but enough time to let your hair dry naturally (way better for it than drying it with heat anyway). You'll have one, no two, less things to do in the morning so you can either sleep later, or just be more relaxed. Taking a shower at night helps with sleep, I've read but I'm not s a scientist so I can't confirm it.
One thing that used to work for me get out of bed when I was younger was knowing there was something REALLY tasty for breakfast. And it was definitely of the sugary cereal variety. I don't do that now because it's just really terrible for your body, of course, but my blood sugar would go down in the night because I was sleeping and not eating so that hit of dopamine was enough to get me out of bed and in the kitchen.
So, setting yourself up with a little treat (now it's just coffee that I look forward to) and also taking off some of the burden of the shower would be what I would suggest.
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