In many ways I feel like I’m an ADHD success story with all the many strategies and tools I’ve devised to be successful.
Yet there is still at least one problem that feels insurmountable at work where I am a project manager. Whenever I’m following along in a meeting, I just can’t keep up with the information and connect it together like everyone else in the meeting.
I’m constantly finding myself humiliated by saying something I fully expect to be in line with what is being discussed only to find out I’ve got it completely wrong.
On top of that, I’m forgetting parts of what is being discussed. It’s not that I’m not listening or paying attention, I see the information come into my memory, then a second later when I go to retrieve it, it’s like someone threw a blanket on it.
I’ve thought about using transcription tools but my employer has strict rules about what applications and tools can be used due to company secrecy policies. So while I’d love to use something like Otter.ai, I just can’t risk it.
I would love to hear if anyone has some wisdom they can share with me. This is really eating me up.
Thank you.
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As a profession, I am a middle school reading teacher-which would have been shocking back in my youth as I could not get through any book without forgetting what I was reading about immediately. As grew I felt secretly “stupid” because I just couldn’t remember things as simple as what I did yesterday. I had to think long and hard and even then I still didn’t know. Yet, I was always placed in gifted/ advanced placement and later college prep classes because I was so articulate, I could write well and I could use critical thinking skills to cover up my issues.
As high school progressed, my memory issues became more evident in science and math classes where the need to remember facts, steps, patterns, sequences, formulas, etc. was just out of the question. I tried really hard to “ pay super close attention this time”, only to feel like a total failure
On a positive note, in college I managed to attend full time and not only pass my classes but graduate was honors.
I had to quickly learn skills & strategies to help compensate and aid my working memory. Here’s what I did and currently do:
For starters I had to become my own transcription tool. I use to and still do listen carefully and dictate my meeting notes. If it’s an area that is naturally difficult for me to grasp, I pay close attention to the items that are stressed either by voice inflection, a visual aide that has been provided and I make sure to document it in whatever way I can capture it. Later, if needed, I revised the notes, analyze them. process them and hopefully commit them to memory if necessary. If it’s not committed to memory, then I have trusty organized notes I can refer to.
Organization is key and needs to be done immediately. I have binders and also online folders for just about everything. If my brain won’t remember “it” then I’ll organize it outside of my brain for easy retrieval.
If I don’t understand something I ask for clarification, examples, or sometimes I’ll just ask if they could please repeat. If I still don’t get it I make sure to visit afterwards with whoever I need to in order ask clarifying questions.
It is what it is and there is no shame in admitting now that I may initially process information differently than most . I am anything but stupid. I am brilliant in that I have actively sought ways to compensate for my memory and have strengthened areas of skill and strategy over the average Joe, if I don’t get it YET- I will and then I can teach you how to do it.
You can to. I look for online, organizational tools and memory strategies. You can find everything on the Internet now. The fact that you posted some thing on this site is already stepped in the right direction. Good luck and God bless you. May our good Lord give you what you need to be successful.
I've been in the corporate world for over twenty years, issues with short term memory and being easily distracted, I've developed a couple of strategies to help me in situations like this- even before I knew I had ADHD.It sounds like you don't have issues with focus and distractions in meetings, I do. Especially virtual meetings. So I start by removing distractions including closing email and instant messaging.
Next is I repeat back or summarise what I hear. Many times I do get it wrong and am corrected- which is good as I want to make sure I "get it."
I learned this years ago from something I was reading about improving communication. Someone says something and before I say anything else I repeat back what I heard. I'll say "let me make sure I understand . . ." or "So you are suggesting . . ."
Don't feel bad if you didn't get it, I have yet to have someone get frustrated with me doing this. Most people feel good you are listening to them. And it feels like this has helped me better connect to others in meetings.
This works for me. But it took a lot of mindful practice for a while- any new skill does.
What didn't work for me was beating myself up or thinking "If only I tried harder." (that goes for any task I do).
Keep at it, experiment with different approaches until you find what works for you.
I am recently diagnosed (inattentive) and have used this successfully -- it is a newer tool in my aresenal. I will especially use it if my mind wandered off and I had to pull it back. "So what I understand is... " "So I should be taking care of ..." "Can you repeat the part about..."
What makes this SUPER helpful is I'm involving my voice and my ears in the process. More senses involved means it makes it easier to remember what's going on.
I've also been trying to review notes right after a meeting, but my consistancy is mixed (ah, ADHD, my intensions are good but the execution... oy.) When I do the reviews it works, and it helps refresh what is going on and imbeds the details more. A weekly review - vaguely in a "Getting Things Done" sort of way - is super-helpful toward the same end.
Corporate world for 18 years, diagnosed for less than 1. Thanks for all the ideas.
I don’t remember shit either in group settings. I hate it when they call on me while in a group setting and ask questions. I’ve just recently discovered that I have an easier time following the conversation on a zoom call if I don’t look at their video and I just listen to the conversation. If I look at the video and listen I get lost. I don’t know your personal situation but is it possible to turn off all additional senses except hearing?
If any meetings are already happening on Zoom or MS Teams, could you implement a practice of recording these conversations? No new software or need to disclose adhd required.
My team uses this for multiple reasons -- to have a record of what was discussed/decided if we need it later, to share with attendees who weren't able to attend, to onboard new people to the team at a later date if necessary. And to help us remember action steps, even the neurotypicals. When something very sensitive or political comes up, we just stop the recording, discuss it, and turn the recording back on.
It took a little bit to establish this as a norm (and I was not the initiator of this idea and surprise, surprise, always forgot to hit record when it was my turn) but over time, it became our thing and we remind each other at the start to hit record.
love this post. I am an OT and have just had a really difficult interview where I struggled to understand the questions let alone retrieve the answers. I had a chat with the interviewer yesterday and she agreed that I was busy processing the questions whilst trying to retrieve the answers. It’s only just dawning on me (with you posts) that as a professional it is a challenge. Not only to understand what is being discussed (often feel stupid) but remembering things.
Love the strategy of writing notes and then anything I can’t remember I have an outside memory aid(folders etc)
Love the strategy of asking for clarification. This is something I’ve wanted to do for years but never had the confidence to do. Makes perfect sense and no one will judge.
Love it that recording is now the norm for others and their team now accept this as normal.
I have so much hope that adhd is now becoming more accepted in the workplace.
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