I'm New - Quick Intro

[ToughBaby]

Hello! My name is Dana, I'm new here and just wanted to say hi.

I've decided to get serious about living well with my Combined-Inattentive ADHD, and I hope to meet some friends here.

Have an awesome day.

[Hidden]

Hi, Dana. Best of luck getting serious, and I hope you have a wonderful day! Jocko Willinck is wonderful and also a bit of a total nut job, but I like this quote/video of his below. He is a former Navy seal and a very successful entrepreneur and author and podcast host, but he has credited his success in the part to his having the dedication to go surfing and practice jiujitsu just about every sibgle day. So as you get serious about ADHD remember to practice self love and self care. (I have struggled with this things.) "It isn't one thing. And it isn't ten things and It isn't a hundred things. It isn't a quick path and there are no shortcuts.

Getting bigger isn't a hack or a trick, or a one change that you need to make. Getting better is a campaign.Its a campaign. Its a daily a weekly a weekly. Its an hourly fight. An incessant fight that doesn't stop against weakness and against temptation and against laziness. Its a campaign of discipline. Is a campaign of hard work and dedication.Its waking up early and going to bed late and grinding out every second in between. Every single day."

youtube.com/watch?v=rvPEn54...(Not working as expected?)

[ToughBaby in reply to Hidden]

I love that! I understand the dedication and the fight - hence the name "ToughBaby." Thanks for the Jocko Willinck recommendation; I look forward to checking him out.

[wtfadhd in reply to Hidden]

that video is way awesome n applicable for neurotypical folks. they are wired to follow that strategy and have wild success. even when they dislike something, their brains will give them the right hit of chemicals to get them up n moving. the problem with ADHD is that we are neuro divergent and bottom line, our brains arent wired that way - if they were, we wouldnt have ADHD.

so Jocko is spot on- unless you have a neurological system that works almost opposite as in ADHD.

why “ muscle” ourselves into being neuro typical anyway? why fight n struggle like its a crisis?!? lets face it- ADHD folks who love swimming and have opportunity- they become michael phelps type. ADHD folks who love weight lifting manage their symptoms by lifting weights and excel in that domain. ADHD folks who love acting become famous entertainers( ashton kushner). i could go on and on but the bottom line is that when us ADHD’ers try to manage our symptoms by self deprivation, using neurotypical strategies- then we are always gonna burn out and emotionally struggle n feel like failures- n xtra super failures( cuz were emotional like that, lol).

when us ADHD folks find what they naturally love to do and do it - we succeed. period.

we lack the chemicals that promote motivation- we do NOT lack the character of self discipline. that is a completely different matter. nor are we we lazy and self absorbed. we lack the chemicals that create motivation, (unless we naturally like something!) so on outside- we may seem like jerks, lol

people without ADHD make decisions based on priority and expectation of reward/ consequences. its that dimple. well us ADHD folks dont have that same wiring. so obviously if our brains dont view things in a vertical list of priorites n instead view them as polk o dots- and we are wired for impulse…, do u follow why the self discapline n grit struggle n sweat strategy just isnt sustainable for us ADHD folks? science says so. when we can accept that fact, and create a personal blueprint which is designed for and authored by ourselves, it leads to us finding the right place n people n all that stuff we really start to live well. ❤️.

im just learning this myself.

[wtfadhd]

my point is- we cant continue to view ADHD as a lack of the admirable character trait “self discipline.”that is equal to saying a person without a voicebox doesnt speak because they are shy and need to try harder if they want to communicate. vs just learning a different method to do it….. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[ToughBaby in reply to wtfadhd]

Wow, wtfadhd - thanks for the thoughtful reply! ADHD folks are definitely not like our NT counterparts! Unfortunately, we live in a NT world and need skills to navigate it. My diagnosis was in 2009, but I'm just now getting serious about what I'm going to do about it. Either I manage my ADHD, or it manages me. It's had its turn, now it's mine.

[wtfadhd in reply to ToughBaby]

heck yes, its your turn!!!lolI grappled with trying to be neurotypical, i grappled with being a freaking ADHD mess n being a angry at neurotypicals in their a neuro typical world.

and now, im at peace.

im not even going to try to learn neuro typical skills so that i can compete at the neuro game.

im an intelligent generous thoughtful person who has ADHD- and i live in a neuro world- cant change that-

but my ADHD super powers give me a clear advantage once i designed my blue print.

im not about to compete with neuros at neuro skills, lol. they dominate that market. but us ADHD’ers who are in tune… well neuros cant compete with us on some level either!! lol

self improvement doesnt have to be a painful struggle.

[Eoveride3]

In the same shoes as you. Where do we go from here? I’m a mom to 3 littles and desperately need guidance so I can model healthy lifestyle habits for these babies.

[Hidden in reply to Eoveride3]

Following. Yes, I have two kids and struggle how to model behavior when I have really been struggling and my wife doesn't believe in ADHD and thinks that I am only depressed. It is really hard because I think my 8-year old might have ADHD and I don't know what to do, partially because I don't know what to do for myself. For example, he is pretty smart, but easily bored at school, so he does ok in classes but then with home learning the past two years he has spent too much time on computers and electronics and thinks have definitely gotten worse.

[ToughBaby in reply to Eoveride3]

I totally agree! My daughter-in-law has unmanaged ADHD and they have twin toddlers - who have a good chance of inheriting it, too. For their sakes, I want to figure this out so they don't struggle and waste decades of potential like I did.

[STEM_Dad]

I thought I knew about ADHD before I was diagnosed at 45. I started to learn more on the YouTube channel HowToADHD, and first connected with ADHD peers at forums.HowToADHD.com - it's a smaller community, so it has a friendly feel to it. There's good people to interact with here and there, and lots of good information to be learned in both places, as well. (I use a different username on that forum than I do here.)

[ToughBaby]

Thanks for the recommendation, STEM! I've seen a couple of the How To ADHD videos and found them super helpful. The one thing I've found is that ADHD is definitely not "one size fits all." The spectrum is huge, and it reveals itself in different ways. True - we can't muscle our way through it. At the same time, it takes dogged persistence and unending courage to fall down and get back up over & over - as we all have to do until we figure it out. As Dr. Ed Hallowell describes it, ADHD people have racecar brains and bicycle brakes, lol! It's a challenge of finding the right meds (if a person chooses), the right routines, the right structures to not crash & burn. I totally agree that ADHD can be a creative gift. OR it can ruin a person's life. We each need to learn how to harness it and make it work for us. That's what I mean to do. <3

[STEM_Dad in reply to ToughBaby]

I do like the spectrum of ADHD people. Lots of things in common, but no two of us alike!

I'm a coffee lover, and I like to say that, "I like my people like I like my coffee...I just like all kinds!"

(I hope that makes sense. It does to me.)