Hi I am a professional artist. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid and prescribed medication (It was ritalin or adderall I can’t remember which, I might have done trials with each) This was in the early 2000’s. I recall the medication helping a lot with focus and time management and I guess the things you would call “executive function” though that term is new to me. However it also completely sapped my creativity, sense of humor, and sense of self. I went off it and haven’t been back on since. Now that I’m in my 30s I’m finding that the “executive function” challenges are causing my stress and issues in my life and career and household and I really want to address this. I’m mostly seeking therapy and management strategies because I’m afraid to go back on medication and potentially lose the creativity and uniqueness of my brain that I’ve built my life and career around. But I wanted to ask if others have had similar experiences? Did medication affect your creativity? Did anyone find a medication that didn’t affect creativity?
Thanks
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I concluded that "creativity" was a distraction. I'm also an artist and creative type.
I realized at some point that having a thousand different ideas (the divergent thinking of creativity) was useless for me if I couldn't complete or follow through on a few of those ideas or none of them.
A mediocre creative idea completed is 1 trillion times better than a wildly inventine idea that gets lost in my ADHD fog.
So to back up, you took one medication that you don't even remember and you're in terror that taking med again will destroy your creativity. That's what in CBT they call a major cognitive distortion. So one time the bandaid on a cut came off. So did you stop trying bandaids? One time the Tylenol didn't work--did you therefore stop taking pain meds?
Your thinking is way too global and overgeneralized ... and negative ... There are like a dozen different ADHD meds, that affect people in different ways. Your goal is to fine one that works for you. And a dose that works for you. You could have been on a higher dose than you needed or a med that didn't really work ... and usually the two categories of meds can affect us differently ... generaly the adderall family affects me one way ... and the Ritalin family another ... you don't even know which one you were on ... probably don't remember the dose and yet you're afraid taking one will kill off your life and creativity.
So your thinking about meds is way overgeneralized and negative. You try out different meds until you get one that works and fits ... it can take a year or more to get to an optimal medication regime and when you get there oh boy, a lot of what you're calling "creativity" might suddenly seem like useless distracting rumination. In some ways I'm less creativity than before--because these days I don't need to review and think about 100 angles on an issue. I can just focus on a few that are most likely to be helpful ... Oh, I have two friends recommendation this dentist. OK, that's enough. I'll call for the appointment. If I don't like, I'll find another. (I am embarrassed to talk about the number of hours I would spend just finding a dang dentist or shopping for a shower brush---waste of time and energy.)
But you have options ... even if a med makes you a bit more rigid ... you could take it when you need to be doing all the stuff of the world ... and not take it when you want to be "creative." There are many short-term meds ... that last 3 to 4 hours ... not all meds are all day ....
Now to your direct question ... for "natural" treatments ... Well there are some ... the irony is that I began to do all these natural ones much more after I began getting treated. So a lot of the natural treatments require focus and consistency that are hard for ADHD people to have.
But here goes:
exercise ... aerobics and weights ... very helpful for ADHD ...
meditation ... fantastically hepful ... and of course really hard to do: sit consistently and regularly in a way that quiets your thoughts and when you stop chasing thoughts ...
getting out into parks and nature ... being in nature gives our "executive function" a break ... you don't have to worry about traffic lights and cars turning and even bills seem far away ... that break is great for our brains (ADHD people weak executive function that can easily get overwhelmed) ... and for our moods ...
therapy, including CBT but just great therapy ... the condition creates havoc with our entire lives--not just with getting work done or creative work done ... ADHD affects everything. Therefore, it's of the utmost importance to clean up as much psychologist mess and pain and hurt as posssible, because that hurt will slow us down on TOP of the ADHD slowing us down ...
therapy for anxiety and/or depression ... most people with adhd are comorbid, meaning we have another condition alongside adhd ... usually depression or anxiety ... here's the cruel rub. those conditions don't go away necessarily with ADHD treatment. They have to be treated. Apparently the brains that have ADHD are brains that are vulnerable to anxiety and depression ... and untreated low-grade depression (combined with ADHD) is a life-sapper ... an energy sapper ... I didn't realize how much anxiety I had (I assumed this confusion and worry and quick panic was my ADHD) until in therapy the anxiety dramatically declined ...
coaching ... and support groups ... hiring an ADHD coach ... or just a life coach who works well with people with ADHD can be extremely helpful ... and here's a tweak ... when i was in therapy recently ... I used the therapist both as a traditional therapist ... helping me examine all kinds of assumptions that were holding me back .. .AND I used my therapist as a coach ...and I hired an ADHD coach for 8 weeks (she was great) ...
Which brings us to awareness ... here's what would happen ... I was being treated with meds and therapy ... and anxiety was lowering ... so I would take on more tasks ... well I would reach overwhelm ... my executive function would be tapped out ... so in therapy we would do work on getting my mind to be able to make peace with this higher level of functioning ... and then ... I'd add more responsibilities or get more ambitious with my life ... and ... eventually hit another impasse ... we'd work through that impasse ... and that's the way it goes ...
And by more ambitious, I mean I added hours at work ... I got more creative at work ... I got more organized at work ... stopped being late ... AND ... I got more social at work ... made more friends ... AND ... I had ailing parents and family members that I had to go out of town at times to help .. .and ... I began to participate in hobbies more consistently ... including fun hobbies ... just wanted to make clear what it means that I would add "responsibilities" ... the responsibilities could be adding consistent social fun ... anything that required consistent participation I'm labeling a responsibility ...
At each step of the way was major turbulence and that's where therapy (with a fantastic therapist) really helped ... and I'd adjust my meds as well ...
And the disclaimer. The therapist has to be fantastic ... there are scores of mediocre therapists out there ... and you have to really respect and admire and like the therapist in order to get the full benefit ... therapy with a mediocre therapist with a distant bond is like dating someone you don't even like ... good luck ....
Reading good books on adult ADHD ... and books with tips on Adult ADHD can be helpful ... ironically we need structure ... somewhat rigid ... even if we rebel against it ... not too rigid, but we do need structure ...
A nightmare? Are you kidding me? My life is kick-butt ripping and roaring these days .. life is a blast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm successfull juggling a wonderful mix of things right now ... in ways I could not have imagined before getting diagnosed ...
I can relate to everything you said. I am a woman with ADHD diagnosed way too late in life. In spite of that I have had a modicum of success but always felt I was underachieving. I now have a diagnosis A good psychiatrist and am on meds which help immensely. I have been my own coach in a sense reading books and listening to podcasts on ADHD. I function pretty well by outsourcing what ever I can. I have someone clean my house and send my laundry out to be done. This has reduced my overwhelm a great deal. I still feel there are other things I could and should be achieving and think maybe coaching would be the key to that. Right now the cost is prohibitive. It is definitely a goal I have. I agree with what you said about creative ideas being useless if you can't follow through and take them to completion. It really does sound like your getting it together. Thanks for sharing your process.
Thanks for this- I appreciate this. Maybe I am wrong about the meds thing and should give it another shot. I am just so overwhelmed by all the steps of finding and keeping a good therapist who takes my insurance and the idea of going through the process of trying out all the meds to find the right one is daunting. I get frustrated with medication because I get anxious about being able to remember to take it regularly and I’m not good at recognizing patterns like of what is going well or poorly to ascertain what is working or not. The way you and others are describing the distractions in my brain and the inaction that causes is pretty spot on I have to admit. Ho hum ! I guess I need to just do this…. But it’s just overwhelming
That overwhelming feeling you have is what you can work on in therapy. It's possibly a bit of depression, possibly powerlessness and hopelessness resulting from untreated ADHD. No need to get overwhelmed.
You can reorient your brain towards just taking a few steps ... a step: spending 15 minutes to find a therapist who takes your insurance ...
You don't need to worry about the medication issue. Because you can just start and see how it goes. So many decisions (like this one) can be paused and reversed at any point without harm. Therefore it makes no sense to agonize about it ... You're agonizing over the equivalent of saying you might start to exercise regularly.
You have power. No one can force you to continue taking a med, and part of the task is to tell your provider how the med affects you, discuss it, make adjustments and so on. All of this is reversible.
I'm sensing some deppresive thinking here. It's the kind of thinking that says X might be a problem, and Y could be a problem and Z ... therefore I'll do nothing. Untreated ADHD also contributes to this kind of thinking ... but so can depression ...
Why knows: you might find yourself able to get the serious duties of life done so much easier that your energy is freed up to do the creative stuff ...
Set a small step ... and credit yourself.
Five minutes looking for a therapist ... you do it (credit yourself!)
Call your insurance company to see if they can recommend a provider ... talk to someone you know, maybe a doctor ...
Just take a step ... ADHD gets us thinking that taking three steps will kill us ... and confuse us ... and it has in the past. But it's only 3 small steps ... Some therapy can help you retrain there ... and a med can make those steps so much easier!
BTW: I want to acknowledge that untreated ADHD (and depression) make is REALLY hard ... to get treatment for ADHD ... our energy is sapped ... our hope is gone ... just be aware that these feelings, this sense of paralysis and overwhelmed, CAN best vastly hugely improved (reduced) ...
Don't trust the feeling that you're stuck. Will require some work, but life can get a lot easier.
Thank you for this! Newly diagnosed at 59, along with major depression and CPTSD, and your words give me hope. I feel so locked up inside myself - lots of trauma - and I’m a creative. Everything is in my brain and it’s so hard to express or to act upon. The feeling of overwhelm is paralyzing, and I can’t seem to figure out where to start with work, creative projects, socializing, etc. Feeling so stuck…
I’m working with a really great brain place that specializes in evals & treatments, and have begun meds & working with a therapist there to start peeling away those layers - and there are SO MANY LAYERS.
Anyway, seeing what you’ve gone through, and where you have arrived (sounds like an amazing place!) gives me hope and the motivation to keep at it and know that there’s going to be a good place to land - whenever I can get there. Thank you 🙏🏼
Set an alarm on your phone to remind you to take the meds. I also keep some in the kitchen where I eat breakfast and some in my car. That way if I forget to take them at home I can take them in the car or when I get to work.
Man, you would be an excellent coach yourself. I'm loving your comments. It's great to hear all that you've been through and what's worked for you. It gives me a sense of what to try.
thank you... I needed to read that... I am at the beginning of my ADHD journey.... you give me hope... I oscillate between validation, overwhelm, grief and anger... I have a therapist who knows nothing about ADHD... I am in Australia and would love to find an ADHD coach that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
Sounds like you've possibly swallowed some anti-medication propaganda. "Sapped your creativity" is a phrase I hear a lot from the people who claim that ADHD is a condition made up to quieten rambunctious children. And if you were on the medication as a child, childhood memories are susceptible to manipulation.
I don't mean to tell you that what you experienced didn't happen. I am just saying it's a possibility, given that the side-effect you described doesn't make any sense to me. Sure, emotional flattening is a side-effect of antidepressant medications called SSRIs (could you have been on those as well?), but Adderall and ritalin are stimulants.
I am an artist too. But because of executive disfunction, I hadn't done anything of note in almost ten years. Now that i am medicated, I am building a professional practice. So I know executive disfunction, and the stress it causes; I would not go back to that for anything. I always wished I was the kind of artist who had a hyperfocus compulsion to make art; good for you if you've found that, medication doesn't stop hyperfocus.
These medications effect the brain, and the brain is such a complex thing; everyone's is different, so unexpected side-effects are not impossible. What you described is possible. But stimulants only last in your body a maximum of 24 hours. Give the medication a try, and if it negatively effects you, you'll be fine again tomorrow.
I agree: a lot of this talk about creative is nonsense. Creativity needs to be paired with action and action requires deadlines, focus, starting, completing--developing a process for completing--accepting less than perfect, focusing on incremental improvement, self acceptance and tons of other things ...
Just having 50 wild ideas floating through our brains is useless. Looking back my brain on treatment doesn't generate as many wild ideas as earlier. Part of that is age, part of that is wisdom. I know every crazy out-of-the-box idea I had wasn't some sign of genius. It was just a flickering idea that popped in my brain.
Many artists here .. I'd like to see something ...
So, you are saying that medicines improve your art. Would you switch with a non-adhd person to not have the need of medicines?
I don't ask myself that question any more than I ask "would I switch with my friend's son who is super organized and has a father (my friend) with serious wealth?"
Part of success with ADHD is acceptance. Every life has its challenges. I see my mission as to deal with the challenges I have. That's the juice and joy: to do the best with the tools I got. And if I use my own tools and talents to the best of my ability, I am more than happy with myself and my life. The real joy is seeing how far I can go with the tools (strengths and weaknesses) I have.
I don't think heart patients are productive if they sit around asking if they would switch with non-heart patients. Their focus needs to be on getting the best treatment so they can live the best lives possible.
But Ritalin and Adderall come in the original short-term/fast release and extended-release forms. Either should wear off during a calendar day.
Perhaps you can arrange your day to do your creative work at a time when you are not on the medication, and then take the fast release medication at the time you need to improve your "executive functioning" capacity. (Maybe a low dose would be enough, since you've been off medication for so long.)
Aside from that, you can try ADHD coaching to help you develop strategies and habits to address your needs, with or without the aid of medication.
I know where you're coming from in the feeling flat perspective which in itself makes me feel less creative but I'm actually more able to be creative because my brain has slowed down.....so before I couldn't paint or draw because I felt too agitated.....now I'm really progressing in this area.....also, sewing, jewellery making etc...I've always struggled with a knitting pattern in the fact I can't retain the pattern and have to read it for each row!!! Now I don't need to do that!
I've been taking meds now for two years trying to find the best combination......Elvanse was my first and I painted a picture (painting by numbers!!!!) I was able to do it because I could focus.....whenever I painted before I'd get frustrated....I'm now taking life drawing classes and portraiture and loving what I create.
The Elvanse I was on was too strong in the end 50mg and made me feel awful....like I couldn't breathe properly...I'd hold my breath...it was weird and I'd focus on that and nothing else.....my creativity was affected..so I tried Xenidate which is similar to Ritalin......this was not effective.....my ability to do housework fell apart and I definitely wasn't creative.
Back to Elvanse...30mg this time ...much better and a month ago the ADHD nurse added an immediate release so that I can get through my day at work (mental health nursing long day 7am to 9pm)
I don't feel like the person I was before my ADHD diagnosis......I was a bit wilder/fun..but I also couldn't handle chronic stress, never managed to form a routine and always felt anxious.... especially in my job.
So I accept that because the benefits of medication has improved my life.
Good luck.....try the medication......I'm sure you'll find one that doesn't flatten your creativity xx
I am an artist too. I sometimes medicate. I try not to most of the time because I already have sleep issues, that can worsen either with the meds or when I am constantly thinking or planning a “new” creative project. With that being said, sometimes I really struggle with motivation to actually start anything productive even when I really really want to. It can be very frustrating. So, the days I know I can’t do it, or won’t do it (haven’t figured that out), I take it. I actually am much less easily distracted and seem to get more done on those days. I don’t feel it takes away my creativeness at all.
I am not dependent on it which is why I don’t take it every single day. With that being said I used to have a high stress job with extreme demands. During this time I had to medicate every single day just to survive the day. I felt like I was drowning even when medicated. I came to realize I was in the wrong job/work place to fit my severity of ADHD. A career that caused me too much heartache and struggling and for be to be happier I realized I needed to structure my life in a way I didn’t feel like I was drowning medicated or not. Now I am a freelancer and artist and I don’t need it every single day. I do still find it useful on higher demand days when longer tedious focus is needed. I hope that answers your question. The bottom line is every single person is different. What works for one may not work for another. Finding what works for you personally is usually only through trial and error, whether it be prescribed medications, habit changes, counseling, or coaching etc. I am happy though to be a part of this group because it has made me realize I am not alone the world with these struggles. Such a long winded answer to a short question 😬
I was always an artist. I just suppressed it to do what I thought could make me “more successful”, but I was miserable. I wasn’t happy. I had to revisit what I thought of success. I am not saying you should be an artist. I am just sharing my personal story. No one can tell you what what will make you happy. It’s an internal thought process that may need figuring out. Counseling and journaling helped me through my own process. Counseling is always a good start. I also read you haven’t been diagnosed yet in your page. A counselor can also help through that process as well.
Yikes, now I am double guessing every one of my responses to your questions.😬 Maybe I didn’t phrase things right, eek.
What I want to say is:
Don’t sell yourself short. Every single person has strengths and weaknesses. Living a lifetime of struggles or failures makes the strengths invisible. I have been there and am still there some days. I still have to work at that negative thinking process every single day. I think I said this another post… this expression has also helped me, “Talk to yourself like you would talk to someone you love going through a hard time.”
We all need support in knowing we aren’t alone in the ways we struggle. Glad you found your way to this support group. A big hug a your way.
Thank you. Just support maybe in not enough and we need to find our right way.About job it could be particularly difficult because our strenghts could not find a way to be appreciated by others around us.
I find more satisfying activities with clear results than activities that are judged by others, who often do not understand what we see.
Hi! As many here, I too am an artist, nowadays mainly as a composer and musician. I come from a visual arts background. A lot has been said already that I can totally agree on. Basically it all comes down to what the definition of creativity is. No output, not getting into a process, that can hardly be part of that definition.
I always struggled to choose on what of all my many interests to focus on, leaving me very frustrated and unfulfilled, usually ending up with whatever the path of least resistance would produce. That always left me wondering, what if I would be more in control of what I'm actually spending my time on. Instead of having outside factors determine my agenda, and co-work with others more out of neccesity than out of deliberate choice. I had a bad experience back in 2009 too, with Ritalin, when at 28 years old I was first diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety disorder. At the time I couldn't deal with the medication very well, I was actually using it to boost the behaviour that was bothering me. This was also because at that time I thought that questioning my alcohol intake was, well, uhm, out of the question. I'm saying this to illustrate that medication doesn't neccesarily forces a change in you in one way or the other, it is in my experience still mostly the whole package of you yourself who determines whether it aids you or works against you. At the time I ditched the ritalin and the treatment all together and went on for 10 years until hitting rockbottom, with anxiety spiking to unbearable levels.
Long story short, I got completely sober first of all. I never ever thought I'd say this but I can highly reccomend that. Being sober for almost 2 years now has made a lot of my progress possible, and brought me so much joy. It's has definately not been all fun, cause it exposed the ADHD pretty heavily, but that led me to go into treatment for it again. This time around I was able to notice much better what happens with the medication and what I was actually needing it for. I ended up with Elvanse, I believe its called Vyvanse outside of the EU which is a slow-release pill. I think it's important to try different options. By no means my problems are solved by just taking these, but I can say that I can choose what to start on and when, and while I'm in the process can accept that I'm not doing all the other things that are also running around in my brain, and feel peace with the activity of the moment. I seem to finally be able to have productive output, all by myself and experiencing joy while working, instead of constant worry and stress. I feel that medication and therapy actually helps me to channel my creativity and establish real outcomes, instead of an untouchable stream of 'what-if's'...
I didn't mean for this to be such a long reply, but while writing I realized that many factors together will form what the outcome of the factor medication will be, so I tried to sort of illustrate that.
Good luck with your choices! It can help to think that you're not stuck for life to whichever decision you make now.
I’m a silversmith and newly diagnosed with ADHD (I’m 47). I have been on Ritalin for about 6 months. I was crazy busy during Xmas so my brain was occupied for a few months with production but about a month ago I had some creative diarrhea and spurt out an entire new collection 😂. So I don’t think my current meds affect my creativity. And actually once I was inspired I was able to focus on the designs, sketch (which I never do). Now I just need to make it 😂😂😂.
My husband and stepson both have ADHD and are medicated: when they don’t take their prescribed doses they’re all over the place, we’re lucky if my husband is lucky if he gets ten minutes of guitar practice accomplished before he’s on to the next idea. My stepson is more creative on his meds because he can actually focus on his creative goal and spends quite a lot of time zenning out to a craft or drawing. It’s actually really inspiring. I’m a designer and if my anxiety is too much that day and I’m having focus issues - I’m getting zero created. If I’m properly medicated and feeling relaxed and confident, I’m a productive art director like no other. I have to say that if your brain is working in the best way it can and thriving with balance, you’re your best you. And if your you’re best you, then you can do your best work.
Hi -- I am a visual artist in my 30s on meds and loving it. It does slow divergent thinking which can feel like a zap of creativity at first, but all the good stuff is still there. It sounds like the meds you were on were not a good fit. Not knowing what you were prescribed or anything, but going off what you've said in the comments, you might consider (1) the kind of stimulant you took was not for you or (2) that dosage was not for you, as in, it may have been enough to calm racing thoughts but not high enough or long acting enough for you to feel energized. I started on Adderall XR and having the meds wear off at the end of the day was exhausting. Now I'm in Wellbutrin with an Adderall kick some days for when I need extra focus. It's going great. The thing is creativity feels different -- it doesn't have that same buzz that starts hyperfocus. But like the other commenter said, 98% of those buzzing ideas went nowhere before I was medicated.
The reassuring thing is that you don't have to settle for any compromise when it comes to any meds. Just keep moving and asking to try different things until you find a good fit. I've heard ADHD & Zombies is a good book for navigating meds, you can look at target symptoms and cut down some trial and error that way (I've bought it but haven't read it yet). Hang in there!
This was my biggest concern with starting medication because I am a graphic designer, I did a lot of fine art in college and have always relied on my creativity to succeed. But I definitely know how tedious art can be and being a perfectionist attributed to a lot of hours and distractions that led me to shift directions constantly, second guess myself, and generate piles of unfinished projects. After getting a diagnosis and finding the medication that worked for me (a year long process, still not 100% confident but adderall xr works for me) I found that I’m actually just able to complete things!! Which sounds really small but it made a huge shift to actually getting stuff I wanted done, and be able to better articulate and communicate my ideas. I never found it to hinder my creativity, if anything being medicated gave me more confidence to actually experiment and do the things I wanted. Of course I still have a hard time dealing with my adhd, and I have really bad sleep habits which means 80% of the time I wake up too late to take my medication. But i think this helps me build up less of a tolerance so that the days I do take it are even more effective. But I always look forward to those days of productivity and the ability to work on something without getting bored or tired.
So my recommendation is just take it when you need it, and start really low. 10mg XR did nothing for me and 20mg made me a zombie. 15mg i found was perfect but even taking it more than a few days in a row i start getting zombie effects. I always hear about bad experiences with medication when youre younger, but i think its a dosing problem because we are too young to recognize how we are being affected and be able to research what medication is supposed to be doing!
hello! You've received some good input already here. I'll share my experience with how diagnosis helped me. I am an artist who did not receive an ADHD diagnosis until age ~52. In my 40's, I made some impulsive decisions related to my artistic drive (quit a good job, went to another country for art grad school then dropped out bc I hadn't planned it out sufficiently, worked as a f-t artist for 2 years barely making ends meet but producing amazing work imho). I did some freelance work but became very stressed by the lack of stability, and found a neurologist who helped me - after seeing several therapists and psychs who did Not. She diagnosed me with ADHD and I started medication (short-acting Ritalin as needed, Adderrall did not work for me). It's been so helpful, in concert with speaking with her monthly for support and coaching. I also joined ADDA, which is super inexpensive and offers many free support groups etc. Today, I am working in a job I love and am still a p-t artist. I am just as creative but less inclined to go down rabbit holes. I admittedly take on a lot less, if I know I may not follow through etc. I struggle with the ADHD typical stuff and feeling like an underachiever at times but I also feel resilient. Like others here have said, including my neurologist, using medication can help us change other habits that ultimately will set you up for success. It will be trial and error if you decide to try meds and it certainly doesn't substitute for constant self-awareness etc. Not advocating anything. You will find what works for you. It's wonderful you got diagnosed at a young age. Best wishes.
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Thanks for sharing your process.
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