Memory Issues

[Feltingfleece]

I recently started playing in a tennis league. I began playing a year and a half ago by taking lessons. I loved every moment of my lessons. But i have found enormous frustration with my inability to keep score. I honestly feel like I am losing my mind when I can’t for the life of me remember what happened on the previous point. It’s starting to impede in my enjoyment of the game. Anybody have similar experiences?

[JustMentallyLazy]

I know ADD and ADHD affects the executive function which means it also affects your working memory, which is short term memory.

Medicine can alleviate this to some degree. Also doing mindful excercises can help calm the mind down.

Also, try regrounding yourself. You can do this in many ways, but something as simple as asking yourself "what am I doing right now?" And then answer it immediately, can refocus you on your current task.

I read someone saying that you could also try to have your inner dialogue adress yourself and your current behaviour / activity in 3rd person and make it say affirmative things.

So fx.

- what am I doing? Cant remember the score

- "That's ok sweetie/honey/dude/mate... you are playing tennis with X and the score is..."

[Lisa9122]

I feel your frustration…I don’t play tennis, however, just picked up Pickleball and was playing recently and could not remember the score either. You have to announce it as well as remember which player is the server and announce that too. I just read a reply to your post about short term memory which I did not know. Good luck..

[Chicoramsies]

Yes, I can so relate. My memory is constantly causing me issues. Medicine does not help me with my memory problems. Ex. I bought some flowers a few days ago and put them in a vase to see if they fit. I completely forgot to add water and didn’t realize until this morning when they looked dead and I checked the water that I never put in. It is a constant problem. What I have realized too is that sometimes if there is someone else around that has an easier time with certain executive functions in my household or work team it is easier to either try to delegate those and pick up something else that suits your strengths better or see if someone else would be willing to help keep track alongside you to ensure correct scoring. Like an accountability partner or friend. You could ask a friend on the team to help keep track with you to make sure your counts are good. It takes courage sometimes to reach out, but it’s better than losing your stamina or drive to play all due to the fear of getting the numbers off and having to keep track alone. Just a thought..

[BatWoman87]

yep, very relatable. I don't play any sports that require me to keep score, which is a good thing. I usually have to check the score of the soccer game with my teammates, and the score is always placed up on a big scoreboard for curling.

My teammates in curling will often mention something about the previous end of play while we're playing in the next end, and I never remember what the hell happened with the shots even though it was only 5 minutes ago...

[zonarosso]

I find that when I'm under pressure (as in competition) my brain partly shuts down. I stopped doing anything competitive as I find it hard to control my emotions and not turn into a person I don't like to be. I have a high level of empathy and I don't want to a the one who makes someone feel bad for losing. There is competition everywhere these days. The cooking shows, talent shows, etc. I just can't watch them. Covid has really elevated anxiety and memory issues for me. I'm worried that I will never go back to my normal which adds more anxiety! I have to repeat things in my head or out loud for short term memory. It's Ok to do that in your situation. I'm always afraid of looking stupid and then having to explain ADHD and it's symptoms which most people don't want to hear. Finding coping mechanisms is just a way of life for us ADHDer's. In my life, if people can't except that that's their problem not mine. Good luck!!

[BTV65]

Ouch. Yes memory issues. Sadly I sometimes have a hard time teasing apart whether it is memory or attention. Did I actually hear that, or did I get distracted and miss it all together? I honestly can't remember ever having this conversation at all. Are you sure it was me that was there?

My brain will tune out when I don't think something is important. My wife will try to tell me something and I target lock on the conversation, carefully listening to every word to figure out if I have any tasks or responsibilities. Sometimes my brain will discard information (such as day/time of a flight) if I'm not involved. Then later it will come back to bite me when plans change and suddenly I need those details. Although seeing it written down immensely increases my chance of remembering.

I used to fence competitively. I didn't need to keep score. I used to hyper focus on my opponent and the match. Later I could remember every detail and nuance of the moves either of us did. I found it refreshing to not have to be worried about distractions. It was just my opponent and me and the rest of the world dropped away. Adrenaline definitely helped me focus.