10 reasons I don't have ADHD

[jilllewis84]

******10 reasons I don't have ADHD: A list of things I've been told by people who didn't want to diagnose me******

1. I haven't been diagnosed with ADD yet. If there was something wrong someone would have caught it by now. (Sound, sound reasoning)

2. I do pay attention when things interest me. (Interest-based attention is actually the core of ADD experience and why it's so disorienting to people who don't know they have it)

3.a. I don't drink enough coffee. People who have ADD drink lots of coffee to try to help focus.

3.b. I drink too much coffee. Coffee is making me jittery and therefore hard to focus.

4.a. I'm probably surrounded by too many distractions. Try just going to a quiet place I won't be disturbed.

4.b. The things I am trying to do are too boring. If I find more stimulating things to do & in a more stimulating environment, I will be able to focus.

5. *Maybe* I have it but an ADD diagnosis is really only for people who want to be medicated all the time. My life is not disrupted enough to warrant something so, so extreme. (At the time I was unemployed & underemployed for 8 years, three careers deep, couldn't drive in my 30s, & estranged from a dysfunctional family of origin)

(Also, medication is a tenement of treatment and doesn't require such severe disruptions to be prescribed.)

6. What I keep calling "Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria" is just a regular sauce overreaction to real or perceived rejection. It really has to do with childhood abandonment. Anyway, who isn't upset when they feel rejected?

7. Have I considered that it's just anxiety that's making it hard to focus? Just anxiety all the time even when I'm happy & alert & calm & feeling safe & still can't focus on shit.

8. Have I considered that I might also have severe social anxiety that makes it *seem* like it's hard for me leave my house? That I can't locate my keys, phone, wallet or easily think through what I need to take with me for the day because I'm actually terrified of leaving my home and don't even realize it?

9. I grew up in a house with rampant misogyny and that's why I sometimes feel like the world is ending right before my period & can't focus on shit or remember how to take care of myself, because I'm secretly hating the "woman-ness" of my body.

(In reality, many people find that, because estrogen is related to regulation of neurotransmitters, when it drops around the start of their cycle, ADHD symptoms can intensify dramatically. It can feel like you're spiraling out of control & is especially disorienting and frightening when you have no idea why it's happening.)

10. I did too well in school to have had ADD. What I describe as "struggle" to start or complete assignments can be attributed to the "Sunday scaries" (something a real doctor who claimed to specialize in ADD actually wrote on a medical report).

*******

Note : I wrote this about a month before getting diagnosed in my 30s. I was so frustrated and fed up with having my words turned around and used against me. Eventually I found a provider who listened to my experiences and asked questions without seeming trying to dismiss or second-guess what I was saying. When I wrote this list, it helped me realize how gaslight-y the diagnosis runaround can be. Sharing it here for humor and in case anyone finds it helpful to that end!

[ZimmyZimmy]

Hello!! Yay! I am MID-diagnosis as we speak! 2 out of 3 appointments/ different medical people are saying possible ADHD. So when I first learned what ADHD was, a month ago!, I was looking through comics and comments from adults like me, and I felt like I could’ve written all of it.

Rather than feeling relief, I felt sadness. I was sad because I’m 45, suffering from “untreatable” depression with GAD. Why didn’t anyone catch it?

No one asks “what does your home look like?” Or “do you get in trouble at work?” (I’ve lost 2 jobs and looking back, it could be ADHD related!) or “how often are you late for work because you are doing a million things?” ETC…..

I have a final mental health “new” intake tomorrow, and finally see if all the symptoms are ADHD.

[Aviarie in reply to ZimmyZimmy]

You could have autism as a high functioning Aspie! Regula to high IQ pdd nos. My daughter takes focalin for add and I take Wellbutrin for my light ADD SaD and major depression. My brother added gad to my add, sad and major depression a miracle drug!

[ZimmyZimmy in reply to Aviarie]

Guess what?! You are correct! The psychologist yesterday said although he cannot really make a definite diagnosis, he said he is leaning on adhd WITH high functioning autism! I meet with him on the Zoom next week. Of course I immediately got off the Zoom with him and looked up high functioning autism, and WOAH! I totally agree. He said he suspects it due to my bothersome social awkwardness, my random immature outbursts, my sensitivities to sound, and my need to have a stuffed animal to calm me down (yep, I’m 45, and they calm me down…I have a backpack that is a “bag with straps” that is a teddy bear…just so I can have a bear with me all the time).

He hasn’t added adhd meds yet, and this week we are making decrease to my current meds. One thing at a time he said!

He was concerned about stimulants because I’m so anxious. I’m curious to try them. Or a combo maybe.

So yep…that’s my new updated mental health so far…..

[Aviarie in reply to ZimmyZimmy]

My crappy brother psychiatrist dealt only with severe cases thinks he knows Aspies and does not gave me gad and ptsd trying to get me divorced and end my life. And said wellbutrin not a real add drug do don't have add but I do and take Wellbutrin for light add inattentive and major depression and sad and some what for anxiety now take also buspirone. He didn't even know Aspie are blind to empathy clueless. I hate him,! And have emotional asthma so take guanefsin to thin out the mucus. My spouse is so conservative with funds my fiduciary is giving me my own money to get more therapy see we all have problemsHe is holding 300000 that I needed to live on my own and 100000 my mother said unconditionally three times give to me. Trying to correct his big mistakes very hard and sees me as harrassing him but doesn't understand Aspies.

[jdelmonaco19]

You’re awesome…I can totally relate to everything you said! God bless! 🙏

[AnetPisc]

This is freaking awesome. It’s also a little heartbreaking and I hate that you faced such resistance. What the crap?! But your conclusion lets me know that you get it. You know to keep trying, there is support and help.

[czechamy]

Sending you hugs! thank you for sharing. Can you believe I was in my 40s when I discovered that not everyone is told that "if your head wasn't attached, you'd lose it" or the many countless other things that I've been told? I truly thought everyone was told these things because it was so normal to hear people say this to me.

Here's to all of us who have the "Sunday Scaries" (horrifying that a professional wrote this but I think that this is comical in a sarcastic and terrible way).

[LeafyGreens]

This is brilliant! Thanks so much for sharing.

[F_RN_Dx_at_39]

That's awful! I was diagnosed at 39. I've struggled to meet expectations for decades. It was my normal/ baseline. It wasn't until I saw a wonderful psychologist and shared my struggles, that she recommended I get tested...at the end of our 1st session.

I'm horrified by how dismissed you've been by such cruel and ignorant people. We all deserve better. I hope you're on the path to healing now snd have managed to surround yourself with better people.

[Aviarie in reply to F_RN_Dx_at_39]

I was not diagnosed till 62. And my wife said both brother's are dead to her not considering me an Aspie blind to empathy.

[Aviarie in reply to Aviarie]

And I was not launched so when we sell my mother's home will use part of it to change my career

[wtfadhd]

dropping facts!!! lol

[GregorysMom]

And the message to those struggling with this dilemma should be even louder than this list, or at leasat accompany it, because nobody reads through anything any more:

If you think something is wrong, if you struggle in some of the ADHD ways, and there are many, if you are dismissed for years like I was , DON'T GIVE UP. DON'T GIVE UP. You deserve decent health care and mental health care, even if our allegedly wonderful health care system tells you to go home and shut up, and leave them a big check. ThaT'S our economic system at its best.

Now at least you can visit this blog for moral support while you're searching. Follow ADD Magazine and other resources that are available now. Keep educating yourself before you "consult" someone. LEARN MORE AND DON'T GIVE UP.

[Penaperkele]

I've been trying to get diagnosed for 4 years already, but I've been learning about ADHD for 9 years. Finally decided to get tested some time after I got burned out with university.

Took me 1,5 years from the first general doctor's appointment to get the tests started. DIVA 2.0 was done 2,5 years ago and on top of that I got comprehensive psychological tests done, to see if something else might be the causing the symptoms. I've never even seen the results of my DIVA test, I was told the score over half a year after the test was done. The person who interviewed me said that it looked pretty clear to her that I have ADHD.

Sadly, the doctor didn't agree. The doctor actually diagnosed me with psychosis based on ADHD symptoms, I was telling her how my senses get overloaded and that makes my symptoms worse, and she claimed she's never heard of anything like that and just gave the diagnosis. Sure, she was always asking if I experience hallucinations or do I have manic episodes. I don't have either of those, but she was just convinced that I'm going nuts because my home is a mess, I have trouble with working memory, there's some issues with social situations, then the sensory issues, etc. y'all know what I'm talking about. Basic ADHD symptoms that are listed everywhere.

I didn't get to see a psychiatrist for a year, well, I had stormed out from her office quite upset, and she ended up getting retired and a new psychiatrist was hired. I was told that she's great, she knows more about ADHD, she's nice, oh finally you'll get proper help..

First time I met her she kept just asking about traumas and social issues and I was confused. On the second appointment she kept asking about all that again and I was so confused again, and then she asked if there's something that should be dealt with, and I said that I want to get back to that ADHD thing and get that figured out. Oh. Lord.

She kept telling me to explain to her why I think I might have ADHD, and no matter what I said (trouble focusing, the sensory thing, hyperfocusing, messy home, messy life etc.) she kept talking over me and said to everything that none of the things I was saying had nothing to do with ADHD. She did admit that I did score high enough to get diagnosed with ADHD, but she doesn't want to give me the diagnosis because "you'd just get lazy and use ADHD as an excuse" when I'm there trying to get the right kind of help so that I could go back to school, get a profession, get a job, make money, pay off my debt and some day move out of my hometown (again). She said she'll ask the psychologist who administered the psychological tests to me, what she thinks, and we had to order my childhood healthcare papers too before the next appointment.

Well, the next time she asked again, why do I think I have ADHD and then she kept talking over me when I was trying to give her examples from school and work and my life. She was all "I've worked with kids and teens for 12 years, I know what ADHD is like" and since my mom didn't remember pretty much anything about my childhood, the psychiatrist took it to mean that what ever I had said can't be true. That's not how it's supposed to go. She insists that I'm just really really traumatized, but I just don't know it, and that's why life is so hard for me. She also said that I've done too well in life because I managed to barely finish high school. I dropped out of 5 school after HS. I barely managed to get through a study program that I IMPULSIVELY applied for last autumn and got in. Almost failed that too. She also says that my IQ is too high for ADHD. She also said that I don't have a right to see what was written down about me in the DIVA test. She said other things too.

I cried for 2 days and then I spent 3 days collecting material from official sources, and I underlined and/or highlighted all the things that she claimed that have nothing to do with ADHD. I finished writing a list of examples of my symptoms and ended it with a rant. I also got her some informational graphics and some stories and memes and just a bunch of stuff about ADHD, and it fits together with all the official diagnostic information. I also added in a law that says that a patient has the right to see all the things that has been written down about them when the text is used to determine a diagnosis, and a patient has the right to get that text fixed and additions have to be made if information is missing. I also took all the notes that the two psychiatrists had made about me, underlined almost all of the mistakes and wrote the correct thing in the margin of the page.

Now I'm doing a bit of a diary of my symptoms, got the idea the other day when I had some very ADHD moments. So far I've written 42,5 pages in 3 days. Sure, I've rambled a bit, but that is my style of talking and typing and I can't help it at all, and I even found a good way of explaining that from some video I watched yesterday, so that's there too.

I'm getting pretty tired of this fight, but I have to keep on fighting, because I'm applying to school in September and if I get in, I'm going to need all the right help.

[jilllewis84 in reply to Penaperkele]

Wowww you've been through all of it. I'm so sorry you've been challenged and dismissed and undermined like that. I've "failed" ADHD tests for doing too well, too 🙄 Russell Barkley has written and spoken a lot about how doing well on tests for attention and impulsivity is not an indication someone doesn't have ADHD (if you ever need to point a dr to that).

Seriously, I applaud your tenacity and determination -- not easy feats for adhders! But sometimes they're the only things that carry us through. Here's hoping your efforts pay off really soon!

[LifeIsLearning]

I hear ya!!!! Your comments in the parenthesis after point 9 are SOOOO important!!!! and SOOO neglected by the majority of medical society. It's brain chemistry. Sigh. Thanks for organizing and putting together what so many of us go through at some level or another.