New here, I'm 46 and 99% sure I have undiagnosed ADHD.

[KGknits]

Background: my brother and sister both were tested as kids, but I wasn't because I wasn't a problem to teachers. Looking back, I'm sure my focus problems doing my homework were caused by ADHD, but I still got decent grades. Fast forward to my son getting tested and as I filled out all the questionnaires for him, I noticed that over 80% of them applied to me as well. However, I didn't realize until I started doing some bookkeeping at work that it is actually affecting me. I sometimes have trouble keeping things in order in my head, even using my ever present notebook. And I make unusual mistakes. (I don't make the common mistakes most people do, though... Go figure.) If I am called to help a customer, I often lose my place in my work unless I leave myself a quick note. As a management trainee, I really want to get better at focusing on the right things. I also tend to say things that are perceived by some people as inappropriate, although I don't mean it to. It doesn't help that my manager doesn't seem to understand that my brain works differently than hers, she's very thorough and I'm often scatterbrained. I told her I want to get tested for ADHD and she thought it had to be diagnosed as a kid. I'm hoping for advice on keeping focused on the right priorities in a busy retail/customer service setting, and on considering the possible consequences of my words and actions before I do dumb stuff instead of after.

I also have other questions but I'll save them for another time in order to keep the answers straight.

[STEM_Dad]

It's likely that your siblings were Hyperactive-Impulsive or Combined presentation ADHD, and you are more likely Inattentive presentation ADHD.

I'm Inattentive. I had similar struggles to yours. Diagnosis was at 45, back in Sept. 2020.

You may also be "Twice Exceptional" (2e), meaning that while you have ADHD or some other disorder that limits you, it's offset by natural giftedness or talents. That might explain why your Inattentive traits weren't noticed in school and you can so easily avoid the common mistakes that people make.

(I was in the "Gifted and Talented Education" program, abbreviated GATE, at school as a kid, then advanced classes in Jr High and High School... even though I struggled to turn in my homework on time, or turned it in incomplete. My mom and a couple of teachers likened me to Albert Einstein and Jerry Lewis character "The Absentminded Professor" because of my forgetfulness, but I did managed to remember to comb my hair! 😋)

[Energyatlast in reply to STEM_Dad]

Sounds like me. I was diagnosed a couple months ago at 53 with inattentive type. I realized I might have ADHD as I completed my daughter's questionnaire...she has combined type. I was also in the gifted and talented program as a child and never caused a bit of trouble. Flew under the radar. Despite constant spaciness and procrastination, I was able to do well. Spent my whole life thinking I was lazy when I was simply missing a few brain chemicals. Starting my journey on medication. Will also be trying neurofeedback. Good luck to everyone who has finally gotten their diagnosis. It's never too late

[KGknits in reply to STEM_Dad]

I was in a similar program in high school, yes. My son was able to get into a program called GTLD, Gifted and Talented with Learning Disabilities, which helped him so much.

[Hidden]

Yes, you can definitely still be diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. Yes, for most people, including me, it took quite a long time, including too many doctor and psychiatrist visits and quite a lot of money. Definitely, spend time upfront doing your research on a suitable and experienced pyshchiatrist in your area. Yes, I think ADHD medications, most likely stimulants, might significantly help you keep focused in busy settings. The challenge again is that even if you have a good psychiatrist and an ADHD diagnosis it is often challenging finding the right medication. Once you have the right medication than can be another challenge and takes more time to find the right dose. Everything is connected, and medications are complicated. So, yes, I still think it is worth finding a good psychiatrist but understand upfront that it might be a challenge to find the right medication and dose. In terms of "considering the possible consequences of my words and actions" I think mindfulness and meditation could help. Also, focusing on diet and excercise in a way that works best for you. I know for myself for example that you better not piss me off when I am tired and sleepy because I get overwhelmingly frustrated by small things that would be absolutely no problem if I was well rested and fueled and relaxed.

[KGknits in reply to Hidden]

I definitely need to work on the diet and exercise aspect, especially since I have food allergies and sensitivities. I am asking around for references for psychiatrists in my area, I don't want to just go to anyone. I found a place online that says they don't take insurance because the insurance companies restrict treatment options, but they will help submit the bill to the insurance. I'm wondering if that might be a good option.

[STEM_Dad]

KGknits your profile says that you are from the US. Different states on the USA have different regulations on this, but in many states an ADHD diagnosis can be made by other mental health or medical professionals than psychiatrists. I only mention this because my diagnosis was made by a licensed counselor and confirmed by my doctor. (In the state where I live, a person must have at least a master's degree in counseling or a similar enough area of study in order to qualify for licensing.)

Some states may restrict diagnosis to doctors and psychiatrists (and maybe psychologists), while other would permit diagnosis by other medical or mental health professionals (such as the licensed counselor who first diagnosed me), or social workers (LCSW). It depends on your state about how broad or narrow the list of diagnosing professionals is.

Laws and regulations strictly dictate that medication can only be prescribed by doctors, or psychiatrists (or, in some states, specially licensed nurse practitioners), and for good reason.

There may be a lot more non-medication ADHD treatment options available to you.

Definitely do your research. You might talk to other people you know who have ADHD or have a family member with ADHD. They would know who are the good providers and who are not.

-----

I mentioned that, because six months after my doctor put in a referral to a psychiatrist for a more thorough ADHD diagnosis than his computer questionnaire, I was still waiting to find out if they would be able to put me on the calendar... another 2-3 months out (or, 8-9 months after the initial referral). I ended up changing health plans, thus changed doctor's, and I never, ever heard back from the psychiatrist's office (so I presume the referral from my former doctor was cancelled).

It's okay. ADHD was in my medical records, so my new doctor asked me only a few questions, and called in my prescription (atomoxetine, a non-stimulant, so no third degree because it's not a controlled substance).

[KGknits in reply to STEM_Dad]

I will look into that, thank you.