New to community - in tech sales

[Jackie_F]

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to this community and thought it could help to talk with other people with ADHD because it does feel isolating most of the time and people here can probably relate.

Quick background: I am in tech sales and have always been someone who is very ambitious but in that rock-and-a-hard-place spot where my ambitions are met by the challenges of ADHD and they just don't seem to change ( inattentiveness, decision making under pressure, trouble finishing what I start) which results in low self-esteem, feeling completely lost, etc. So I'm at odds a lot of the time with feeling I should just give up but also refusing to.

I started taking adderall at age 10 and have run the whole gambit of every medication type. That said, I no longer take any as I just can't see myself taking such a strong stimulant for my whole life and I did notice it start to hamper critical thinking skills. I know it helps a lot of people but I stopped feeling like myself completely and know that if there is a way to manage symptoms without it I am going to exhaust any possibility.

When I stopped taking it I was quickly reminded of why I started (I have severe ADHD lol) and while it does add a lot to my personality and its easy for me to make friends, the constant roadblocks lead to this chronic frustration that can take the forms of depression, anxiety, thoughts of suicide, etc. because I feel like I'm in a constant state of overwhelm.

Here's kind of the kicker, I can't just stop being ambitious. I realize I am very blessed to have certain talents with speaking (especially public), and a natural aptitude in sales. When I take a 10,000ft view of my career/life, I KNOW I am capable. But each time I go to put pen to paper I get so tripped up by what always ends up being symptoms of ADHD. And I'm left feeling like a failure.

I was hoping to find people who are in similar positions because even though I am blessed with a lot of awesome friends I feel pretty alone in the world most of the time and that I can't really relate to that many people.

Best,

Jack

[Jackie_F]

Something to add here just in terms of ADHD management/treatment:

While I do not take medication I do meditate, exercise, control my diet. All of those are good but I still feel at the whim of my ADHD symptoms a lot of time. And another thing to add would be that I'm in a high pressure sales role, so the pressure can very often exacerbate the symptoms which lead to low results --> more anxiety --> telling myself I'm not good enough and will never achieve my dreams in a dark cycle

[JimWalter]

Hey Jackie,

Good to know you have manifested a certain set of talent in your career. I am 28 and realizing that the only way to deal with ADHD is to know what you can and can not do. In that way, you know what type of challenges you can take and what you can pass on.

My story is similar, I believe I have hardcore ADHD, but never diagnosed clinically. I suspected I have ADHD in my first job, I was a total dick for other's eyes, I got fired from my job. After so much mental suffering, I started changing my personality, I changed the way of thinking. I became a very different person compared to 3 years younger me. This has helped me with my career, to choose the field that I think I might shine and grow. Now I am doing very good in my career, BUT I still have a lot of challenges, incredibly hard time remembering yesterdays work, I am constantly amazed by people who remember a month old work they do and I on the other hand have to check my emails and conversations to recollect, I have terrible comprehension skills when someone is talking/ explaining something/ asking an easy question, my mind goes bye-bye.

So I have developed skills to overcome this difficulty, note, it is a clever way of combating my challenge, like, asking them to repeat because the mic was not working, diverting them with a different subject, telling them some lame story, and so on, it gave me some time to re-re-think and also to breakdown the things what they said to the process slowly.

Although it is incredibly hard to keep things where they are, I still have personal issues, like, feeling isolated (but I am a little mature now), decision making (anywhere, everywhere, and all the time), a flicker mindset, and a lack of few skills like, poor articulation of sentences, bad humor (I understand and enjoy jokes and sarcasm but can not pass a small joke on anyone, cause it ends up a disaster with hurtful feelings).

All in all, I believe, not knowing about my condition at an early stage might help me to deal with things in my own way and overcome some challenges (with incredible pressure and self-criticism). But I would be in very good shape if I had those above-mentioned skills, and the rest I can deal in my life.

[Genevieve42]

Hi Jack,I really appreciate what you have written and shared here. I have had such a hard time describing to my friends and family what it feels like to have ADD. People that don't have it, can't comprehend the frustration. I related so much to the descriptions you used, that I saved some of your wording to my own ADD Notes file. I can never find the right words to convey what I'm feeling, so I am compiling a collection of quotes that resonate with me. The way you described yourself.... knowing you are capable, yet feeling like a failure, the roadblocks, the constant state of overwhelm, wondering if you should give up, yet refusing to give up..... You nailed it. This is such a bizarre struggle.

[Jackie_F in reply to Genevieve42]

It's certainly a bizarre struggle! But I really do believe it can be turned into a super power. I've lived with it my whole life and at times I can really beat myself up but it really is something we need to take little by little and improve upon. People don't understand things from our perspective because the way our brain operates is just different. Glad that I could help you articulate it!