ADHD family treatment

[AniSk]

Myself, my husband, and both kids all have confirmed or suspected ADHD and/or executive functioning issues. After several years of exploring this possibility in myself ( after the diagnosis of my oldest child) I finally found a psychologist with knowledge and experience with both adult and kids with ADHD and have been seeing her every few weeks. My youngest has recently also been diagnosed and is having a very hard time lately with school (especially virtual learning) and extreme emotional reactions. We consulted with two different therapists over the past 6 months but neither have seemed as knowledgeable or helpful as my own therapist. I’m wondering if it would be ok for me to ask my therapist to also work with my daughter. Has anyone on here had any experience with that- good or bad?

[JW621]

When I look back. I can’t believe I wasn’t diagnosed earlier. I’m 47. When I was 16 I couldn’t focus and it was said by a learning center. I am so mad about it. But I try not to dwell on it for which is one of the coping skills I learned. Impulsive, emotional, over reacting paranoia and so forth. Also I have been diagnosed with bipolar and hyper vigilance. Get them and yourself the right doctor to live. We need coping skills and meds. Focus is a must in life to live and be successful. We work great under pressure. It’s one of our post I’ve traits. Good luck but make a step to make your life better for the family.

[AniSk in reply to JW621]

Thank you- we’re working on it! Just wondering if it’s “ok” to share a therapist amongst family members or better to each find our own.

[JW621 in reply to AniSk]

I would think both.

[JW621 in reply to JW621]

In my opinion I would individually get treated and then have a family session as well. But individual is more biased.

[JW621 in reply to AniSk]

Paranoia leads to hyper vigilance. Something I am learning

[Birdwatcher19]

I am a therapist, and I’d say it’s not preferred, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility, especially if you’re in an area where there are limited options. I would ask the therapist if she’s comfortable with it, as well as your daughter. Otherwise, maybe your therapist could recommend someone for your daughter? It should be a little easier to find a child therapist familiar with ADHD than one who is experienced with adult ADHD. Good luck, I know it can be really hard to find someone who gets it. I loved my daughter’s therapist (she had ADHD, too) and wished I could see her myself!

[Neurolancer]

Hello! I can relate to your situation -- I have ADD and all three of my children have ADD/ADHD. My husband begs off, but I'm convinced that he has ADHD. I'm a fan of single providers helping multiple family members. Here's what works for us:

1. I have my own psychiatrist for medication and other mental health issues; he also does some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with me. He also helps me "quarterback" the mental health needs of the rest of my family. Most psychiatrists for adults will not see multiple members of a family.

2. The children share a psychiatrist for medication and tracking on how they are doing over all. She also treats two of them for mood imbalances. When the kids were younger than 16, I sat in on their appointments so that I could share my observations, hear the doctor's recommendations, etc.

3. We have a therapist who works with different members of the family depending on our needs at the moment. She started out as my daughter's therapist, then my older son's, then my younger son's and now mine. Right now she is meeting with my daughter and I. She is phenomenal, so I'm not motivated to find additional therapists. She maintains our individual privacy, she doesn't take sides, she understands the family as a system, and so forth.

4. My husband and I just started doing some couple's therapy. Running an ADD family is extremely stressful, as you know, and this therapy is helping us get more on the same page and reduce tension. At a certain point we'll be adding in our youngest, a teen still at home, for family therapy. Again, the therapist is working with multiple people, but she's objective, doesn't take sides, and is very effective working with us as a system.

We used to have GREAT mental health insurance coverage but just changed plans and no longer do. We'll have to cut back on frequency of visits; the psychiatrists are mandatory for medication, but I will maintain the relationships with the therapists for certain because they are so valuable.

I hope this helps!

[AniSk]

Thank you! This is very helpful. It took me years to find a therapist who really seemed to understand adult ADHD (partly because I finally decided to just go out of network). We've already tried two different providers for my daughter that didn't seem like a great fit. And the advice that I got from these other providers paled in comparison to strategies given to me by my own therapist when we talk about my daughters' needs.

[Dodger09]

Both my boys ages 9 and 5 and myself age 40 all use the same psychiatrists. It’s works great for us.