I am looking for advice for sending my daughter off to college.

[Mochamama]

Hello everyone!

I am new to the group. We both have ADHD. Time is flying and she has started applying for colleges. She is all over the place. I am concerned about her immaturity.

[fillycheesesteak]

Hi there! I'm a college student currently with ADHD. I know many techniques to stay focused and organized are easier said than done! Here are some things I do that might help her out:

- I am personally terrible at keeping a planner or journal, but something I am pretty good at is putting assignments into my reminders app on my phone! I think that's just because my phone is always on me and it doesn't take much work to simply type in something. I usually have my phone set to remind me of an assignment (or meeting or anything really) the day before or the day of so I don't skip over it.

- Another REALLY useful app is Pocket Schedule Planner or any kind of app that your daughter can put her schedule into. I had a hard time memorizing where and when my classes were at first, and having the app send me a notification prior to a class was super helpful! She can also use it to write in assignments for classes or upcoming exams (I find that to be too time-consuming for me, so I just use reminders for that!).

- I also recommend that she carry sticky notes on her at all times! When I have an important web assignment that I need to do, I will sometimes write it down on a sticky note and stick it to my laptop screen. That way when I open my laptop (quite frequently) I'll be reminded that I have an assignment to do on it.

- For textbook reading, something that can really help is finding the e-book version and downloading a program or a Chrome extension (I have Read Aloud) so that the book can be read to her. I know many of us have a hard time focusing on reading and processing what we read, so that will help her a ton.

- Lecture-based classes are not fun (unless you looooove the topic), and are incredibly hard to stay focused in even for those without ADHD. If your daughter is allowed to record in-person classes (if they're over Zoom, ask the professor to record the class and send it to her. The professor might even record every class and upload it to whatever online software the college uses) I would definitely do that. That way she can go back and catch whatever she missed.

- Finally, something that I find helps me a ton is having one of the multiple subject (5 subject, 3 subject, etc.) notebooks for notetaking. That way, I don't have multiple notebooks to keep track of; Everything is right there for me. My backpack tended to get cluttered very easily, and once I started using a multiple subject notebook I had a much easier time with keeping notes organized. Speaking of notetaking, I've heard that writing notes instead of typing them is a much more effective way to retain what we learn! In my experience, that's definitely the case.

I hope that helps at least a bit! She's going to do great!!!

[JW621]

Find her help in the vicinity of her school. The school issues will be easier to handle with guidance.

[JW621]

She need the coping skills to face her next stage of her life. Keep her aware, but she needs to learn to live. She needs proper coping methods and a therapist that will help her cognitive behavior

[Neurolancer]

Dear Aliyalove,

I'm a mom with ADD and I have sent two ADD kids off to college. It's nerve-wracking but there are things you can do.

1. When you/she looks at schools, look at what they offer students with disabilities. Is there a "Student Disability Center"? (Sorry, disability is what they call it in college.) Do they provide accommodations for students with ADD/ADHD? Do they off student resources like tutors and coaches for organizational support? Are there counselors for one-on-one planning and check-ins with the student? This is what you want and need. Many schools offer this, but you need to make sure. Call the director of the service and ask these questions! Some schools are paying lip service but others have truly caring and skilled staff.

2. Make sure your daughter's diagnosis is up to date, and that you have any and all documentation of prior accommodations in place. You will need this "proof" in order for her to get the disability accommodations. Documentation is everything.

3. Assuming your daughter gets the accommodations, do your best to ensure that she makes use of them! This is not under your control, but you need to help her see the value and to carry through. When she has chosen a school, go with her to the school to meet her counselor or the director of the program. Don't just hope that your daughter will make an appointment and go in. Help her get over any fear or embarrassment by simply being there with her.

4. Give the program background information on your daughter -- strengths and weaknesses, what she needs help with, etc. Be honest -- they are there to help, not judge. Your daughter will be asked for information herself and she must be honest and complete. If you hold back on what you really need, you won't get it.

5. May sure your daughter is familiar with the mental health/wellness program at her school of choice, especially if she's got anxiety or other issues. Help her connect with it.

6. Start/continue transitioning your daughter to greater levels of responsibility, especially taking her medication. Make sure she knows how to do the basics, like wash her clothes!

7. Get her started on a budget, if she isn't used to managing her money. Waiting till school starts is too late. Warn her not to open a credit card account with offers that come through the mail and prey on students.

8. If you can afford a college counselor, ask them about ADD/ADHD-friendly schools. University of Arizona, for example, is known for its program based around providing support to kids with these types of challenges.

9. Mostly, be there for her. My recommendations may sound like I'm too involved but it's a process of TRANSITION. They still need scaffolding. Every bit that I put into my kids' transitions was worth it.

Best of Luck!!!

[DesertAl in reply to Neurolancer]

Neurolancer reply is near perfect. We attempted to engage many of Neurolancer suggestions. Zoom therapy works, for remote support. Best wishes, my ADHD daughter is preparing for he MCATS. The kids have to choose a path with information and support.

[Mochamama in reply to Neurolancer]

Thank you so much. I am making a todo list from your response.

[Mochamama]

Thank you so much!