Listened to Tones and I’s song “Bad child” and it hit hard

[SeaOwl]

Heard this after parking the car and had to sit and re listen to it 3x before getting out. I was the scapegoat for my narcissistic mom and had undiagnosed adhd as a child. This song hit home but also provides comfort. I wanted to share it with someone and thought who better than those who may have been called the bad child when they were struggling with undiagnosed or untreated adhd.

youtu.be/bjFGLXZto3U(Not working as expected?)

[pbond0902]

I have not been diagnosed but suspect that I have been struggling with ADHD. I like to keep busy and often seek thrills. When doing schoolwork or helping with homework, I am all over the place. I loose everything and often forget appointments.

I suspect, I have passed this on to my child as well.

[Hidden in reply to pbond0902]

pbond0902 , that does sound a lot like ADHD. Are you considering getting a formal ADHD assessment?

[SeaOwl in reply to pbond0902]

I am so sorry that you have been struggling. I highly recommend getting a formal screening for both you and your child. There isn’t any shame in being adhd and addressing it now is better than never. Especially for your child!

[Emerald-Eyes]

My heart goes out to you. I have a Covert Narcissistic Mom who is a little lower on the spectrum but I understand. Thanks for sharing the video. I tried my best to be her good side, and in the process hide my feelings inside and had no “voice”. I was in trouble for symptoms with my ADD. I went undiagnosed until prior Jr high. My parents never shared anything but that I had ligitimate learning challenges. I knew that without the diagnosis. I search nearly a lifetime and fine picked up a few books that helped me know at 50 I had it. When I told my Mom she said, we already knew back then. She refused to tell me because She didn’t want me on medication even then and I “wasn’t as bad as others with it.” I believe she didn’t want me having therapy because of what I may say. Basic activities any child might go to she considered them my “Therapy’ (not)! When I was older she sware at me and said she wish she could throw me against the wall, after my brain wasn’t allowing me to memorize what 6 x 8 is. This was after earlier dx. I was to an extent afraid of my Mom more because of what I saw her do with my brother. I would have had little life outside of our house had I not withheld. We’ve never talked about what happened, but he actually took my Moms side after I was rediagosed, which really was disappointing to me. Just know someone else understands some.

[SeaOwl in reply to Emerald-Eyes]

Ugh narcissistic parents are the worst. I am sorry your brother took your parents side. I have three older sisters and they all took my moms side when I finally drew the line and estranged myself. They then decided to harass me via any means of communication till I had to change my phone number and block their accounts.

Of course outsiders thought our family was perfect and a dream family (we weren’t allowed to show anything but) and so many people think my mom is a great mother. (Except my grandparents who’ve seen the true narcissistic human).

I am curious if I was ever diagnosed as a kid, or had teachers ask my parents. I surely showed a multitude of warning signs from early on. But alas I shall never know.