Square one (adhd)

[Argenon]

Hi, a few years ago I realized that I have ADHD and it was a real revelation. It gave me a way of understanding why I've struggled so much in life (especially from an employment/$/accomplishing anything pov) and gave me some hope, since other people might have figured out how to deal with it. I can't say I've taken advantage of all the collective insight out there, but so far nothing has really worked.

The concrete essence of my problem is getting things done that need to be done, namely $-related things like doing the job I already have (a part-time freelance sort of situation), applying for new jobs, dealing with the IRS, and training myself for the new career path I chose a few years ago. I have little or no external structure or accountability, except the occasional project deadline (which always turns out to be a nightmare of last minute scrambling), so I end up dawdling away my time on low or non-priority things which leads to living below the poverty line and all kinds of consequent problems.

My question is, for someone who needs to spend much more time improving their financial situation, what strategies do you suggest? I'm not talking about financial or job search advice as such, just ways to get myself to do the things I need to do (which isn't a big mystery). I know I'm too isolated but I dont know how to fix that (I have friends but not co-workers or supervisors). Timers and alarms don't seem to effect my behavior (if I even notice them). I've tried posting reminders around but maybe not enough (they quickly faded into the background). I've made countless lists and schedules and calendars and screwing around with them is one of the biggest things I spend time on instead of making actual progress, so it's not for lack of organization (it's failing to follow through and implement it). Has anyone with these sorts of issues found something that works? Am I maybe just not doing enough of it (setting reminders and such) or what? Any resources or advice is welcome. Thanks.

[LiveWellShared]

Hi, I am also in a similar situation in regards to to struggling with post realization of diagnosis/revelation. What sticks out to me is the little or no external structure/accountability to which I also have difficulty with. For me it feels like I am on a constant loop of trying with no fulfilled result, financially. However, what has helped me so much is setting a 5,10,15, etc. year plan of where I want to see myself financially. Additionally, I self-learn different subject to take away the feeling of not having something cooperatively I can apply it to. I have had trial/error success with the reminders and calendars because unexpected circumstances. However, I use notepads or stick notes to adjust schedules/calendars accordingly.

[VyToTheShane]

Have you ever thought of seeing a psychologist or getting properly medicated?

You should look up Dr Charles Parker or even read one of his books online. It inspired me to get the right medical treatment and changed my life for the better.

[Argenon in reply to VyToTheShane]

I do see a therapist and take medication, but thanks. I'll check out Dr. Parker.

[Lovinit]

I’m going to take a shot even though I don’t think what I’m thinking for you is what you’re looking for but I’m currently and have been struggling financially for a couple years so I got a roommate. I’m 38 and i got my first roommate. I bought a 3 bedroom house in 2016. I love living alone but i need money so i decided that its worth it now to give up some of my space/home to help me pay for my mortgage. My first roommate lasted 7months he had way too much stuff didn’t clean and was in denial about everything. Plus i gave him a deal him doing a job in return - he never did. He moved out yesterday. I got someone moving in today and someone else moving in June 1. With them no deals, I’ll make between the both of them more than what my mortgage is.

[GregorysMom]

Your description of your behavior reminds me a little of myself. Unlike you I retired from public education some years ago. But my similarity is in the avoidance mechanisms I use when I have to do things like doing income taxes, completing job applications on line, and tedious financial things. When I was working I had an extremely stressful and responsible job, but I managed to get through it and take on all the unpleasant tasks with relative success. That is until I could retire because it all got too much. I never depended on working for myself. I would not like that. It was a different era when I started my career and I wound up in one I did not choose originally but that worked out ultimately and which I was fortunately fairly suited for.

But now that I'm retired, as you say, I am not accountable to any one or anything and so it's easier to lapse into avoidance and procrastination because I have no routine schedule and pay check coming in to structure my motivational level. I think part of the problem you're having is the different economic landscape you're forced to work in today, with no pay or benefits or structures in place to protect your work. I don't know what you do so it's hard to advise you. I was in education and an administrator for the last 20 years of my career. The job market and scene changed drastically during my career . There used to be more security working in larger systems like big companies (telecom, transportation, Insurance companies, etc.).....but that's all crumbling now. The digital revolution is partly responsible but the capitalism on steroids that we live on here is also to blame. That's why companies like Amazon are doing so well. It's the closest thing to offering the structure and security of the old days. The only thing is it doesn't really. I've known families who make good money running nail salons but no benefits. So they moonlight as Fed Ex drivers and things like that. Consider seeing a head hunter or employment counselor.