So over the past year and a half I have been in a journey to become well. Over the course of this time, I went from a sedentary 230 lb overweight, unconfident father who spent too much focusing on his computer job with a social media addiction to a 150lb, lean and fit, entrepreneur who’s striving to improve his wellness in all aspects. I lost 80 lbs, improved my resting heart rate from 85 bpm to 64bpm and my lean mass from 25% to under 13%.
To recap wellness. There’s physical, which I’ve outlined above. There’s intellectual, which I’ve always had- as a result of my hunger for learning. There’s spiritual, which I gained once I got off of Facebook and started finding my own way to be happy and confident (through my exercising, appreciation therapy, and morning ritual). There’s environmental, which I established by starting with Marie Kono’s approach to doing a marathon cleaning with my wife and getting our house declhttered. Occupational wellness, for me, was a matter of taking the risk to get myself into a new position that I would love- that being data science for me. It was a huge risk because I could have failed and not been able to provide for my wife and kids. But I did it. Occupational wellness was also about being able to leave work at work and step in the house at night and leave where it belonged- the so-called work-life balance.
The two types of wellness still plaguing me? I’m going to attribute them partially to my adhd. But I would be lying to myself if I tried to write them off as being unfixable. You see, I’ve learned over the past year that our realities are controlled completely by us. We control our perceptions and those perceptions control how we decide to act or react. There are people everyday that lose limbs. Some of them may have needed those limbs to provide for their families. Some of these individuals may very well choose to perceive this as a divine intervention, God telling them they have failed. Those people will likely give up, collect their disability, and likely live in misery with an internal dialog that’s eating at them, saying they are no longer useful. The opposite perception would be for them to wake up and tell themselves that nobody is going to break them just by taking alway an arm or a leg, or both. Those individuals will succeed because they have the right mindset.
Social and emotional wellness are going to be my biggest battle yet. I’ve got this bull by the horns and my feet are sunken into the ground attempting to life the bull up and throw him out of the ring.
And I don’t just owe this to my wife and kids. Sure, it’s extremely important that my kids grow up also being able to learn social and emotional intelligence so that they may be able to succeed and thtrive and be generally content in their adult lives. No I don’t just owe it to them. I mostly owe it to myself so that I might be able to finally experience contentment and be able to reach the goals that my lack of social and emotional wellness have been holding me from.
This is going to be the hardest part of my journey yet. Being able to control my sudden outbursts of emotion when my mind gets distracted and I’ve lost control internally. Being able to pay attention to and perceive the “big picture” before I get overwhelmed and lash out at my kids for things when I wasn’t paying proper attention to what they were doing in the first place.
Being able to walk up to ANYONE and have a genuine conversation with them and not fill my mind with worry and negativity assuming that I’ve always said or done something wrong. I’m going to do this. And it’s gojng to be the most important thing I’ve ever done, below getting married and having kids.
Wish me luck. And I hope that perhaps when I am able to do this, I can be helpful in guiding others do the same.
New here, want help processing emotions.
Work + Emotional Response Advice
Emotional regulation problems, or just me.
Emotions are every where. That uneasy feeling makes me crazy 
Jobs that suit inattentive type
