Work + Emotional Response Advice

[Jselwocki]

Hey guys!

So I think for the first time ever I’ve been at a job where someone seems so clueless yet arrogant about mental health. For starters he asked me if I was a retard ( not in the completely outrageous way it was a legit question one I think he meant to ask about autism because I was being overly organized throughout a project. Still was not happy about it but just let it go because it was a legitimate question founded on ignorance.

Today, however, the guy asked if I took my meds and for the most part I think I did pretty good.

He told me that I’ve been there for 6 months and I should know the routine to which I responded that he needed to communicate and not assume I know what his next move is. I did tell him not to start with that (the meds comment) ignorance😬. I’m getting the vibe he’s pretty sly. He mentioned not to trust this one lady about my diagnosis because he told me he takes medicine for depression. I’m thinking it might be the other way around 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Shnookie]

Be extremely careful and in my opinion avoid this guy as much as possible. It’s no one’s business about your meds. Mental

health issues R still a stigma in the workplace. I think U have the right gut

feeling about this person. I’m not trying to sound dramatic. U just want to keep your

job and get along with your coworkers

He has no business commenting on your

work ethic. Good luck

[Jselwocki in reply to Shnookie]

Thanks, shnookie

I’ve had other jobs where I (undiagnosed/undertreated) started to get myself into trouble.

I guess what’s tough for me is that I’ve actually got the experience and right treatment plan aiding me, but I guess emotional regulation is still tough for me. When I know for certain that I’m not acting foolish or scattered but receive comments like this I take it personally because that person has no idea what adhd does to me or anyone else for that matter. I’ve got low tolerance for jerks. I might have to read up on some psychology tricks to handle this.

Sidebar:

I tried a trick on my boss

If you say

Is it a problem if I do XYZ?

Instead of

Is it okay or Can I do XYZ

Chances are you’ll be able to

People feel empowered when they say No.

Disclaimer: not to be used for nefarious reasons 🤪

[HadEnuf in reply to Jselwocki]

But being nefarious is more fun!

[Jselwocki in reply to HadEnuf]

😂 it is isn’t it lol 😂 I just got into the psychology of words a few years ago so I haven’t thought of anything fun to use it for lol another thing is to look at a persons forehead instead of eyes it supposedly makes them feel uncomfortable. I tried it on my wife I think she’s immune 😂 I think her look negated it and made me uncomfortable instead

[HadEnuf in reply to Jselwocki]

I know people who use noses or foreheads (probably really eyebrow) as a “target” to fake eye contact, because direct eye contact creeps them out or feels too aggressive.

[Jselwocki in reply to HadEnuf]

It’s always felt more aggressive on the receiving end when they look directly Into my soul

[GatsbyCat]

Hello, Jselwocki~

Wow! I'm pretty sure that asking that kind of question is illegal. There are guidelines about prescription drugs, etc that companies need to follow.

Don't know where you live, but you can go to the government agencies online and check out your rights: samhsa.gov/workplace/legal/...

There's also a list of other Federal Laws and Regulations that address issues.

Is this guy your boss, or a co-worker? Why is he asking you these questions? Be very careful about how you want to respond to these questions. Hope these ideas.

Best~

GatsbyCat

[Jselwocki in reply to GatsbyCat]

Thanks 😊 he’s my coworker. When I started we were in the getting to know each other phase. He told me his doctor gave him medication for depression and anxiety so I used that as an opportunity to peel back part of my onion, so to to speak, and told him about my experience with medication.

Honestly, up until now I’ve never experienced a coworker like this. I actually asked him if he knows much about mental wellness/health when he made the retard comment and he said he just drinks water 🤦🏻‍♂️.

I see stories on my Facebook groups about coworkers like this and now I understand. Kind of a blessing in disguise I guess I can at least empathize with others now

[GatsbyCat in reply to Jselwocki]

Hello, again~

Sounds like he is really ignorant about mental health, and ADHD in particular. BTW, you could mention that over 9.1 of the world population have ADHD. Latest statistics show more boys than girls have been diagnosed. Centers for Disease Control has the latest numbers: cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/data.html

BTW, often times, ADHD has other "conditions" that come along with it, including anxiety and depression.

Hope this helps!

[Jselwocki in reply to GatsbyCat]

You’re THE GREATest GATSBYcat

[Shnookie in reply to Jselwocki]

U need to be really careful about getting into these kind of conversations. He can rat you out and trust me U do not want to talk to the office manager or HR about this and God forbid if they let U go and U wanted to file a law suit based on wrongful termination this can be difficult. I do understand what goes on with ADHD at the workplace because when I went off my meds and my shrink readjusted them, I still had problems for a little while. I fell asleep in front of a group of people that I was dining with at a law firm celebration. Some of them told my paralegal supervisor. I think I did mention meds to him. I didn't lose my job but this did not put me in a comfortable position. I forgot it soon enough and fortunately within a few weeks my shrink prescribed me the correct dosages and I felt much better. That is why I become uncomfortable especially in this support group when people talk about

taking a "vacation" away from their meds. I know that everyone has a different reaction, but these reactions are usually not positive.

[Jselwocki in reply to Shnookie]

I definitely feel really torn on this. I’m really open about my adhd in hopes others may start to be okay. Then sometimes this happens 🤷🏻‍♂️