What am I good at?

[Lovinit]

I’ve been told I’m entertaining.

I need to find the things that I’m good at.

It’s a shame , I lived 37 years of my life and I ont know what I’m good at.

[cjnolet]

Is that really true though? Or is it possible that you’ve taken your skills and talents for granted because they come so naturally to you? Or perhaps you are in hopes that there’s only a subset of things you “want” to be good at so you are ignoring all the other things you truly are good at? Or maybe you are envying a few things others are good at and not digging deep enough inside yourself.

I bring up these cases specifically because they plague me quite often. “I want to be good at schmoozing people because so and so is good at that and he’s successful as a result of it” or “well I can’t be good at djing because it’s too easy and I need to feel like I worked hard at something to be good at it” ( even after being told from multiple other djs and club owners that I “have it”)

Do you meditate at all? I feel like the perfect time to reflect on your inner strengths and talents is when you are able to take some internal focus and bring your mind and body back together. Crazy things happen in that state.

I can also tell you that I often enjoy seeing your posts because (at least from text) you always seem to have a caring spirit.

For me, I’ve always been the energy, the positivity, the life of the party that says what’s on my mind even if at first it doesn’t make all that much sense to others. I’m raw and pure and details can (and generally will) be figured out later- I bring the ideas and the will to build them.

What role do you find you normally play in social settings? What’s your personality type? What are skills you’ve learned in life that are rather unique but that the world can use?

Everyone on this earth who’s lived to be 37 has talents. Some are thinkers or energizers like myself (and many other adhders) others are nurturers, some are rationalizes, others are doers (also like a lot of adhders). Many are multiples of these. Have you ever taken a Meyers Briggs test?

[juliep47 in reply to cjnolet]

What a brilliant insight. Some helpful thoughts and ideas to get the mind flowing. Thanks for your insight.

[Lovinit in reply to cjnolet]

So I took a test last week and it said I’m an artist

Sensitive, kind and artistic individuals who enjoy the present moment and what's going on around them. They are quiet but committed to people who are important to them.

It also says I’m an introvert, and it’s true Whalen I attend a party or am surrounded by lots of people and stuff by the end I feel wiped out. But if I’m in a one on one setting I feel it energizes me and I can engage with someone very well.

I’m not shy to approach people and speak to them. I talk to lots of strangers, I’m friendly and honest I say whatever I’m thinking because I don’t get the point of acting fake around someone, to me it’s seems like a waste of your energy and it’s odd. Some times people think I’m being sarcastic or something when I’m not and guy friend told me I say what everyone else is thinking but won’t say. He says sometimes I say things to people that come off as me being mean or hurtful and he told me others take it the wrong way. He says he knows me well enough and knows that when I say something I never am intending to be mean or a dick and

[VronMc]

It's hard isn't it? I sometimes say that I'm 57 and still haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up. I spent a lot of time when I was younger trying to keep my options open, and had a fear of getting stuck doing something boring, and a fear of failure, and as a result avoided doing much at all. If I had to give one piece of advice to my younger self it would be : try lots of things. Sometimes I've thought I might be good at something and tried it and it hasn't worked out - that's a really useful piece of information, if I can stop beating myself up for failing at something yet again.

Maybe a better question is - what do you enjoy doing?

[Lovinit in reply to VronMc]

It is hard, especially because I think I am sensitive I have ADHD that was never acknowledged growing up and very emotionally unsupported parents.

Been living on my own since 26 and since then I put most of my focus on trying to fix me

[juliep47 in reply to VronMc]

Wow, this is good too. I have had the same struggles. When were you diagnosed?

[Lovinit]

Recently I’ve realized I can’t go though this alone anymore. I never told anyone how I felt. 9 months ago I went though a major life change and I went and got help by seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. My brother also has been here for me emotionally and financially I’m very lucky to have them in my life. And now I’m ready to grow up into becoming the women it it’s never stuck with anything don’t even try because you felt like a failure hard when your whole life you I want to be

[Lovinit]

Great questions and I want to reply to each one. I’ll start with the first one. I had skills and talent when I was young, I was very fit, trail ran, rode horses painted and would draw every night for two hours. Gave it all up after high school because I had to get a real job and learn to be like an adult and I didn’t acknowledge all the wonderful things I loved and was good at I only fofouced on what I wasn’t good at

[juliep47]

I am 55 and don’t know what I am good at either. I was diagnosed 3 months ago and I feel like most of my life was wasted because I feel like I was destined to be great and I wasn’t great. I just started seeing a counselor yesterday in an attempt to learn more about this and hoping to still do whatever it is I am supposed to do. I need a direction and feel like maybe if I seek help from professionals that they can help guide me. So maybe for you, start out by looking into counseling or a life coach, and making sure you are on the right medication for you.

[dgs2018 in reply to juliep47]

Julie, I just saw this post today and have to say I have had many different "posts" in my life from tax preparer, teacher, tutor, cashier, test item evaluator, parking attendant, inventory counter, etc. There are many talents that I have employed in my life and don't feel like I was necessary great. The one that seems to be most close to "who I am" is language teacher or working with students at the elementary level. I'm not sure you can limit yourself to just one area of greatness. I also have had the feeling that much of my life was wasted, but I hope that your counselors can rectify your sense of non-productivity because you have what it takes to be someone who is valuable and treasured.

[Lovinit in reply to dgs2018]

Thank you! It’s been a tuff hill to climb over and reach a point in my life where I am feeling better about myself and I am able to say I’m good at a few things.

I’m good with people, good driver for Uber and Lyft, I’m good at rearranging things in my home to make it more beautiful and functional, work hard in maintaining my backyard.

What helped me get here I think a few things, support, medication I know have been on for about a year and me working on myself. Although I’ve been working on myself I feel like my whole life and what really helped me move forward was medication. Besides adhd i had been diagnosed in 2002 for I was diagnosed last year for anxiety and possibly bipolar. My psychiatrist found two medications that I’ve been taking that helped my symptoms go away. One thing I constantly still struggle with is my adhd. Taking stimulant medication really helps me but not always. I’m thinking im not very self aware a lot during the day as I’m doing stuff and there are other things too but that’s one thing I’m thinking about now.

[Tonkalady]

I will bet that you are also outgoing, compassionate, resourceful, and helpful. I am a teacher and all of my ADHD students have had hearts of gold. Every adult with ADHD that I have met is hard on themselves but has the best of intentions. ❤️

[Lovinit in reply to Tonkalady]

Wow, I believe I really am all of those things, but I struggle every day with living and I really really wished I had a boss that I could look up to and learn from and I wish my job felt more fulfilling. I don’t know or interact with anyone with ADHD and I am always the one who’s different, those where very nice qualities you said and thank for that. I don’t hear positive things being to me and about me. I feel like I don’t fit in with others