Finding someone who would understand ... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

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Finding someone who would understand my depression and adhd


I been single for almost 4 years and have very few relationships with women anymore. I feel my illness and adhd meds make me an outkast. I tend to be shy around people and women I'm attracted to. I feel so awkward most of the time. It sucks so bad having no relationships as I get older.

13 Replies

Hi there, sorry to hear about your troubles. Perhaps I could be of some assistance.

What subtype of ADHD do you have, and are you taking helpful supplements along with your ADHD medication? If someone were to take just stimulant medication for an extended duration without supplements to fight off the negative side effects, then many unfortunate things can arise. Motivation and the feeling of ease in a conversation or amongst a group of people or one on one, all stem from certain neurotransmitters. Problems arise when certain neurotransmitters are low, and people with ADHD have low levels of multiple neurotransmitters. Stimulant medication only helps primarily with Dopamine and Norepinephrine. Unfortunately there are multiple other neurotransmitters people with ADHD lack that create some major problems as I have learned in my training to become an MFT Psychologist and help people just like yourself. So what one needs to do is take care of those other important neurotransmitters that are low and lift them up with supplement use along with your medication, and then with some help and effort will you escape that depression.

What suplements would it be? I take my medicine but, sometimes it seem to work and sometimes don't...

The reason your medication stops working and is only working sometimes is because when people use stimulant medication for longer periods of time, the neurotransmitters the stimulant medication helps with, start to become depleted, which is why people feel the medication is no longer working.

I highly recommend the following supplements for both your medication working better and to it's full potential, your depression to diminish, and for your sociability and communication to improve. The supplements are a big help, but the individual still has to put in the effort.

1. R-Alpha Lipoic Acid: This supplement is one of the strongest antioxidant supplements out there and also helps the brain utilize the neurotransmitter Acetylcholine, which people with ADHD lack. This made my 10mg stimulant medication feel fresh and smoother once I started taking this supplement. Stimulant medication creates lots of oxidation which is bad for someone's body, and this supplement helps greatly in removing and lowering oxidation levels. This supplement also helps out IMMENSELY with reasoning and managing time better.

2. Most stimulant medications work with the neurotransmitters Dopamine and Norepinephrine. In order to fight off depletion I would highly recommend the supplement N-Acetyl Tyrosine. That supplement specifically works with helping the brain with Dopamine and Norepinephrine. I take it when I get up, 30min to an hour before my medication wears off (in order to eliminate the crash of the medication) and a few other times during the day. Supplement greatly helps with motivation and cocentration

3. Dopamine has a relationship with the neurotransmitter Serotonin (together they are known as the brain's reward system), so while stimulant medication does not primarily work with Serotonin, after boosting up Dopamine frequently, Serotonin will start to go down. For this I recommend the supplement L-Tryptophan (Tryptophan is a direct precursor to Serotonin, unlike 5HTP which is earlier in the chain). This supplement greatly helps with one's mood and feeling of ease, lowering anxiety, it is also really helpful to take before going to sleep, in addition to taking it during the day.

4. A good Multivitamin with antioxidants is also highly recommended.

5. If there is trouble getting to sleep at night, I would recommend Melatonin 300mcg 6hr release. Take this about 45min before going to bed. And then take L-Tryptophan (which I mentioned in #3) 30min before bed, and you will have some profound deep sleep and wake up feeling refreshed more often.

6. CoQ10: as a safety precaution in order to keep your heart safe, and keep your heart rate and blood pressure from rising, which is common with ADHD stimulant medication.

7. PS-100: strong neuromodulator that greatly helps with recall, helps with speaking more fluidly and coherently, and also helps out with planning.

If any of this sounds helpful, you can click on my profile pic, which will then take you to my profile in which I have a link to a google doc I made that includes all of the supplements I mentioned, along with some detailed information on why I take them, why they help people with ADHD, and the cost and locations that sell them (mostly, and some grocery stores). I also made a video series that I uploaded to Youtube of all the struggles that people with Inattentive ADHD go through from elementary school all the way to adulthood, the link is also in my profile. If you are also curious about a helpful schedule of when to take certain supplements throughout the day, I have a post you can click on my page where I explain what supplements I take throughout the day and what time I take them, all in order. Hope this helps

Thank you😉😎

I agree with the wisdom of supplements—it is best to ensure deficiency is not exacerbating a condition—but depletion is not the only cause of lost efficacy: both release and receptor down-regulation (the “memory effect” by which neurons accommodate conditions at their synapses) are also in play.

Keep in mind, “IANAD”—just well-read on a subject that affects my own health.

Dopamine and serotonin are the reward system's counterbalancing regulators: one (dopamine) registers anticipation of reward and promotes action; while the other (serotonin) registers receipt of reward and promotes inaction. Each downregulates both release of the other and sensitivity to itself.

Regardless of depletion (by monoamine oxidase and by conversion of dopamine to norepinephrine or serotonin to melatonin, rather than by transfer per se) , any prolonged elevation of either in the synaptic cleft will make both less effective.

This is why taking “time off” CNS stimulants is often an effective mitigation for tolerance: the short half-life of the compounds (hours) and rapid accommodation (hours to a day or two at therapeutic doses). Even a day or two per week is often enough to maintain a fixed dosage indefinitely, provided one has time available in an environment where medication is less necessary. (For example, I normally medicate only on weekdays and an occasional weekend day with a heavy task load.)

Unfortunately, SNRIs [bupropion (Wellbutrin), atomoxetine (Strattera), etc.] tend to have a longer half-life (days) and take longer to reach full effect or to wean, and much the same goes for SSRIs used to treat clinical serotonin shortages; so these are harder to keep effective over the long haul.

Monoamine precursor supplements (tyrosine for dopamine and 5-HTP for serotonin) at least don't seem to have this difficulty: after all, they're ordinary nutrients normally present in out diet; and their conversion into the monoamines is likely to be regulated somewhat by the levels already present (as is common in many chemical reactions). So, they may be less prone to induce tolerance and might even be a better option to ease subclinical symptoms like milder forms of anxiety that some with ADHD experience.

Thank you so much for this information. You are answering the question I have had for 6 months. Yes... the stimulant medication has worked wonders to help me shut out all the extra things going on outside and inside my head so I can focus. However, over time I have become extremely depressed and have found that I no longer reach out to have relationships. I fear getting off the stimulates because I have stayed clean and sober since taking them. I have stopped having the urge at to self medicate and this is amazing. However the side effects of depression and loneliness as an adult are about to send me over the edge on some days. I will try the supplements you have mentioned below!

No problem, really glad to hear that the information was of some help. I had some similar issues, but supplements have really helped me out. Also always keep in mind that if one supplement does not go well with your body, their are multiple other supplements that do the same thing that you can choose from. The dosage of the supplement, the time and order you take them, all play a big role. I have had to do lots of trial and error, but it's worth it when you find a supplement regimine that works for you. Best regards on your supplement intake.

Wow okay. Thank you. I will give this a try. I do feel the way you described. I will mention this to my doctor and see what he thinks as well.

Where do u live what state or country?

Dont take a meds vac without discussing it with dr first-i have 15 yrs clean& sober

I think the best thing you can do is be open with the girl about your issues and someone will accept you. it might take a couple tries or multiple tries but have faith that it will happen. If you are not confident thats a you problem dude. the more you project that insecurity into the world the more you will create the reality you are projecting. I have adhd and depression but be mindful that you are capable and that your mind is not who you are but the expression of what power you give to it. A book that helped me realize the bullshit I was creating is called the power of now. We all have issues my friend but I believe you are capable. start believing it yourself ;)

I hae ADHD and depression; I'd have to say though that it wasn't til I started thinking I was as deserving of happiness as any other that I've managed to turn a corner. It doesn't matter what medication or supplements you take - if you go around thinking you need someone else to make yourself complete then you're probably headed for even more failure and isolation. Learn to like yourself and cope by yourself first; that way you're less likely to end up in a dysfunctional relationship which just adds to feelings of despair and inadequacy.

I am sorry to hear, it sounds very heartbreaking. You can't just do medications. ADHD medications is not the only therapy. I suggest getting an ADHD coach, as well as an ADHD diet, as well to is taking ADHD supplements. This helps improve the ADHD symptoms and the ADHD effects.

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