Different

[cjnolet]

You know what's pretty crazy. I'm so used to feeling/being different than everyone around me that when I actually meet someone who's also different, whether in similar ways or not, I have trouble immediately perceiving them as a peer. I just assume I must be different from them (socially, intellectually, etc...).

In other words- it's crazy because I just assume from the start that I'm going to be different from them and so generally that means I get arrogant and tout around the only strength that I feel really have, which is that I tend to work harder and learn things faster than others. I think most people call that arrogance but for me it's the only defense I have. I generally don't have the social skills but I definitely feel I have the intellect, so while, for instance, other engineers in my field are gaining the respect of their peers by using office politics, or charisma that I just don't have, my way of gaining respect is my ability to produce results.

I bring this up because sometimes I realize that I'm so used to being different than everyone around me, that sometimes when someone comes around that likely also has felt that way their whole life, I immediately assume I must be different than them as well. It's definitely an impulse because when I actually take the time to sit back and let my mind ruminate on interactions with those individuals, I will sometimes realize, "Hey... that's strange, I was just assuming they were different, as I normally do, but they are actually kinda different too, and in similar ways."

Perhaps this is common sense or seems irrelevant to you guys, but I happened to have found it an interesting behavior on my part. Enough to point out, and solicit discussion, anyways.