Sometimes the utter exhaustion of being ADHD takes its toll.

[kami73]

I have good days, bad days and days in between like everyone does. I really do feel blessed to have what I have and try to keep in mind that I could have it so much worse. I try my best to have a positive outlook and attitude.

But, there are times when my adhd head completely just wears me out to the point of mental and emotional exhaustion. Constantly checking myself to see if I'm being appropriate, scared to be in social situations, being isolated because you can't relate to people and they don't want to relate to you, bad relationships, and the list goes on. I'm sure most of you can relate in one way or another.

That's when I really just think that It would have been better not to have been born at all. Is that selfish to think? Im ashamed to feel that way and I wish I didn't have those thoughts but I do. I'm tired and just want to have a moment of piece. What do you all do when you get to where I'm at?

Anyways, I just had to get that off my chest. Thank you all for listening. Tomorrow is a new day and I am gonna try harder.

[Lexieloodles]

I feel the same way! Just turned 50 and I'm so ticked that I still don't have my $#/÷ together! I guess I never will. It would be nice, though, to be comfortable in my skin, regardless of the silly situations I very myself into. 😠

[glitterpidgeon]

I can relate to everything you’ve said. If I had to some up the defining aspect of my ADHD in one word it would be exhaustion. It’s difficult to regulate a mind and emotions that are always bouncing between extremes and having to do it every second of the day takes its toll. I think any person would wish it was a burden they were never saddled with - it’s hard to appreciate life when you’re too tired and hurting to enjoy it.

The only things that have ever really brought me peace are medications or being really, really interested in something (which carries its own exhaustion with it but at least it’s in a good way usually). In both cases it just feels like the heaviness and mental fog just evaporate for a while.

[Vcmusician66]

I'm right there with you. You hit the nail on the head the way you described what it's like daily for so many of us. I find myself trying desperately to listen to everything my wife needs to brief me on if we have a complicated week of activities coming up. Heaven help me if I suddenly remember something coming due at work next week that I know I'm not going to remember until the night before! I appear distracted and she says "I really need you to focus right now." She's lost patience with me a while back, so I'm really on my own with this.

I, too, have thoughts that it might have been better if I'd never been born. I didn't have a job that paid enough to support us on until just a few years ago and even now I feel hanging onto it is going to be a challenge. Money's always tight as we're heavily in credit card debt to make up for shortfalls. I know there's always the future, but now that I'm 51, I feel my optimism waning.

But I understand and sympathize with your situation. I'm glad I've found people here I can relate to and who have some understanding.

[dgs2018]

Just saw this post this morning. I can fully relate to everything that you have mentioned above esp. about not having my stuff together at this age (mid 50's). The problem is executive function which for most non-ADHD people is not such a big deal but it constantly causes us to have self-regulation problems in social settings, to be impulsive, make poor choices (unless we're really careful and slow ourselves down enough to focus), etc. It's sometimes too much to handle and maybe we avoid social settings. I think one key is learning what sets you off, that trigger that causes inappropriate behavior in ourselves and highlights our deficiency. However, I'm beyond wondering why I'm even here and do appreciate the qualities and strengths that come with having a "different" mind. Would I change it if I could ? I don't know but since it's not an option, it's simply embracing the challenge that having a complicated mind and being different brings.

[Lovinit]

I went to a psychiatrist because I started seeing a therapist and she noticed I had anxiety and she encouraged me to see a psychiatrist. Medication for that can be trial and error and I had never taken anything for anxiety and wasn’t educated but I went he put me on a low dose of lexapro and it’s supposed to take full effect after using a month. I started noticing improvement almost immediately. I’m thankful for that little pill. I feel just like me with anxiety. Didn’t realize how much anxiety affected me until I saw what it feels like to not have it. It has improved my life so much. Now I can be more able to work on therapy and improve my life better

[arne123]

I also feel burnt out. It feels like the boring days are the hardest. If I have a slow day at work or not doing much in weekends, I'm completely exhausted. Still, it takes it's toll to keep myself busy 24/7.

The most convenient solution is to let my mind rebel into whatever impulsive ideas shows up, meaning I'm constantly working with no way to relax.

When putting in the effort, I can usually accomplish whatever I want, exept for a much needed break...