Does parenting a child with ADHD affect your marriage?

[ng24]

Does anyone feel like the stress of dealing with and ADHD child impacts your marriage? After years of daily stress of dealing with my now teen (inattentive with some ODD) as the major caretaker (my husband used to work 65 hour work weeks. Now he travels half the time) my husband thinks that I am the biggest bitch. I must say that I am mentally drained most days and I do tend to snap at him.

[PoppyWithADD]

sorry to hear that ng24! I don't have kids or a spouse but I do imagine that all parenting is stressful and that any additional challenges would add to that. is there any way you can carve out some time for yourself to de-stress? and is there anything he could do to help that would make you feel more supported? wishing you well.

[Vcmusician66]

I would have to say yes, it can affect a marriage; certainly it can test one. I've been married to my wife for 24 years. Our older of 2 sons (now 16) has always been a handful, started out as a busy child and became difficult to manage as he approached his teen years. After going through the many hoops and hurdles to get him tested for ADHD, on and off 2 medications that were making him sick (Adderall and Strattera), he's ended up at a school that can help him, but he hates that he's not like other "normal" kids he knows. He's angry at the world and his mother in particular (she doesn't let him get away with lying, pushing limits, cheating, etc) he routinely gives us the finger and often pits us against each other. I'm dealing with my own ADD, trying to manage it with Adderall, which isn't really working anymore; it mostly makes me irritable with myself and everyone, as I'm often dealing with self-created problems (missing deadlines and appointments or double-booking myself on the family schedule). My wife is beyond exasperated with me and I find myself getting fatalistic and tending toward self-destructive behaviors, as there's little or no physical love between us anymore. I think if our marriage was stronger, we'd be able to withstand this better, but it's hard for me to imagine one that could weather so many cumulative stresses.

This was probably more information than you needed, so I apologize. I just needed to get that out.

[ng24 in reply to Vcmusician66]

I understand completely! Sounds like my son and what we go through. We will all get through this and our marriages can be stronger. Keep your chin up

[Vcmusician66]

Thanks for the reply. Will try. At least I know I'm not alone in this situation. Best of luck!