Running from Work

[Wildfirentampa]

I get so excited when i get a job i think i can really be me and be productive. I will give it my undivided attention (as much as my brain will allow) to take in all i need to learn. I want to do perfect and be the best me i can give.

I hate when expectations fail and someone looks at me like im not doing something correct. I dislike when i am feeling scrutinized like im dumb or not learning. I try hard and put all my experience into my work even if its scrubbing toilets.

I just left a job where i was in a small area with four other women that are all different obviously. They were loud, confusing, cussing, complaining, I was trying to learn and be what my boss wanted me to be to keep the job. She was behind me in the next room with a clear view of my head and my trainer was on the other side of me. My trainer talked so loud that if i was on the phone i could not think straight. I got so nervous that the entire three weeks i worked here i had CONSTANT DIAHREAHA. I didnt know what was going on! I loved having a paycheck... i hated having stomach pains and constant runs.... So over the weekend two weeks ago i just decided "its not you its me... and i emailed the big boss and told him i just cant keep up and im sorry." he understood and now i am sitting here waiting to start a PRODUCTION job at a warehouse... I hope i can do it.

12 jobs in 3 years is just so scary! WHY is it so hard.??????

I lose faith in myself when one person messes up the environment for me and i panic. The result... I run from work. ITS ALL MENTAL though. I see that... I just panic.

[sdraine]

I run from marriages, three to be precise.

[Wildfirentampa in reply to sdraine]

Its hard to have a relationship with others when we dont know ourselves. You are not a failure because you have ran from marriages... you fail if you stop trying to better yourself and learn from them.

I am on marriage number three but We have been together 20 years and still strong because we communicate my problems and his to help each other deal with the things we fall short on in our relationship.

I am only an expert in my own experience but these things help us get better to talk through it and understand where to change what we are doing that could be sabotaging our life.

Running is from fear! I cant stand to deal with my fear so i run.... HUGS! thanks for your response!

[Wendymotherhelp]

R u on any meds?