Hey, hi, hello...

[megaroni]

Hi! I'm Megan. I'm new here, so I thought I'd begin by introducing myself.

I'm a 21 year old art student with a job and a boyfriend, both of whom I love. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was in the 3rd grade, and it has been a huge challenge in my life for as long as I can remember. As of late, it's negatively affected my work performance, my relationship, my school and personal life. I came upon this site while looking for some sort of solution to "fix" myself, and I'm so glad I've found a group of people who struggle in the same way as I do. My life is a mess, and I'm desperate to organize it and myself better. So here's to hoping things change. I look forward to connecting with you all!

[tinaramala]

Hi Megan, I’m new, too. Unless you have ADHD yourself, no one really understands how hard it is to just “do” life. What is the biggest struggle you are dealing with now?

[megaroni in reply to tinaramala]

Hello! Nice to meet you! Yeah, I've found that to be very true. My boyfriend doesn't have it, and has a hard time understanding and/or relating to my struggles. He tries though. Right now, my biggest struggle is time management. I also seem to move at the speed of a snail. So frustrating.

[megaroni in reply to tinaramala]

How about you? What is your biggest struggle at the moment?

[Diana_Late-Diagnosis]

Welcome Megan. I’m a retired graphic designer (+) and also hope to find some fellowship here. I love the fantasy that we can all be "fixed” when I actually know we must love ourselves through each challenging day! If/when you can, also check out Jessica McCabe’s “How to ADHD” series on YouTube! Delightful, short & well-researched presentations with helpful tips. Jessica’s positivity is contagious and she helps me laugh at myself. I checked the “following” button o your current post to watch for future posts. I hope I can help provide some creative fellowship, as well as a bit of understanding for all that’s on your plate! In the meantime, please be as loving to yourself as possible! You deserved it! (If someone else is reading that advise, it applies to ALL of us!). Best, Diana

[yourock in reply to Diana_Late-Diagnosis]

Thank you! There is nothing to "fix". We all learn differently. It is a matter of learning how our brains work, how they think (executive brain function), and finding the support for tips and tricks to feel successful in our daily lives. It is not easy, but there is nothing "wrong". Love yourself! YOU ROCK! Everyone has struggles. Good to have an understanding support system ( they might need education too about ADHD ) and a psychologist who specializes in the tips and tricks of ADHD. Smile!

[Diana_Late-Diagnosis in reply to yourock]

The only reason I used the word “fix” is that I have seen many comment on this site that they keep expecting to get “fixed” with meds., etc. That is not how I think. Note that I wrote “I love the FANTASY that we can be fixed.”

Sorry if you found my semantic choice irritating. Having spent over 50 years (pre-diagnosis) feeling broken—despite my constant search for help (since age 15)—I empathize with those who desire something that feels like a do-able solution or lasting relief from the emotional storm available from this disorder.

Since diagnosis, I continue to read everything I can get my hands on, as well as explore every on-line newsletter, e-zine, webinar, etc. I’m delighted to continue learning about (and practicing) the many different methods for coping.

It is also good to be able to PAY for a psychologist—especially when ADHD is considered a “mental” condition by my insurance provider (not covered). This is not an option for me at this time.

You are correct, we each have our struggles. The fellowship here is a great blessing.

So it’s another day of turning compassion up to “11” and remaining mindful. Good air in. Bad air out. [repeat].

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[megaroni in reply to Diana_Late-Diagnosis]

Hi, Diana! Thank you for your warm welcome! I'm definitely going to check out that YouTube series - I'm pretty excited about what it has to offer. :)) I used the word "fixed" in my into post knowing it didn't quite fit, because I know that I'm not broken - ADD is just a part of my wonderful noggin. That doesn't make me defective. That being said, I have tried since elementary school to correct my habits. I've been on several different medications, (very briefly) gone to a psychologist, been enrolled in "special help" courses (not to my liking), tried putting into effect different routines to help me plan ahead better and motivate me. But I fall short literally all the time. Instead of myself being in control, it feels like my ADD is. I need to develop the skills to reign in this disorder of mine. Ugh!

[Diana_Late-Diagnosis in reply to megaroni]

Nice to hear from you Megaroni! (very fun screen name!). I relate to your sharing the idea of “falling short.” I strive to build the skills to reign over this disorder as well.... I’ll be "toasting” our successes with my next cup of coffee! Hang in there (everyone...). I will too!

[wishy2]

hello, it's nice to meet you.I have been challenged for many years, usually when there are just too many things going on. I've really benefited from a lot of tips on the ADD websites especially additutude. I have a recovery strategy that I'm sick of having to put in place over and over again. What was it like as a child? both of my two youngest aged 15 and 13 have been diagnosed recently, and it's hard for them. I have found the process of planning the week hour by hour works, but very difficult.

[megaroni in reply to wishy2]

Hey there! Thanks for reaching out! As a kid, it was hard. I can remember going through kinder-2nd being scolded and constantly disciplined by teachers who thought I was nothing but a problem child. Truthfully, I just had a big imagination (always have) and a difficult time staying focused. I meant well though, and I did try to be better. I was always a respectful kid. I didn't act up in classes, I just got distracted (aaallll the time). I think my teachers were right in trying to discipline me, but there were better ways to do it. I wish someone would have looked closer at the signs and realized that I wasn't "behaving" that way on purpose. Gently bringing my attention back to the task at hand would have worked better than being scolded loudly in front of my class, or making me feel foolish when I didn't understand the lesson and kept asking questions. "Pay attention" was the advice, not "What are you missing?" I've never responded well to harsh authority (as I'm sure many others wouldn't), and it doesn't take much to set me straight again or redirect my energy to what I should be doing. I cannot stand getting into trouble, especially when I'm being punished unfairly - it would make me feel embarrassed, sad, belittled. So I have always tried to stay out of it (not that it's difficult to do). What I'm getting at here is that as a kid, I was misunderstood and scolded all the time for a disorder I couldn't help having, and instead of thinking about how to solve the problem, they used strict reinforcement as means to teach me to "behave". Not that anyone knew yet that I had ADD yet. But I do wish that my teachers had approached the issues differently, instead of writing me off as some kid who didn't have any regard for learning and just wanted to goof off.

How have your kids handled it so far? How is school for them? I've learned that accepting that I need a little extra help sometimes is really ok, but not to use my ADD as an excuse or a crutch. I want to be as efficient as others who don't struggle with this. I don't always want to be that person who's not finished yet, or can't get their work done, or is kinda "ditzy/dumb". So I work hard to counter those very things that bother me. I'd love to talk more with you and understand your methods, and how life is for your kids knowing now that they had ADD.

[DGGibbons]

Hi there!

when I got married (several years ago) one of the people who we worked with told me "don't try to have the perfect wedding, because you will always fail; instead try to have an awesome one, which is very achievable", this is how I have always approached my ADHD.

ADHD can't be "fixed" because you are not broken. It can however be managed and even used to your advantage. The first step is learning how you function best, I would recommend finding a Psychologist who specializes in ADHD and CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) and go from there, this should help you to figure out the best strategy for living your life the way YOU want to.

it's not easy, but it gets easier the more things you find out about the way your brain works. Don't be hard on yourself; you deserve love and support, from yourself most of all.

P.S.

I will second the recommendation of the youtube series "How to ADHD" by Jessica McCabe, it is downright lifesaving!

[megaroni in reply to DGGibbons]

Hey!!

Great advice. I'm a perfectionist, and I'm always let down because of this. I'll have to try doing that instead, like you said. ^

Thanks for reaching out! And for reminding me to love on myself. I've been putting myself down for some time now. I guess I've just been pretty discouraged. This is helpful though. <3

[Paigemarie1098]

Hi megan I completely understand , I'm 22 year old college student (pursing nursing) and I have had diagnosed anxiety for a very long time and i always thought what I was feeling was due to my anxiety but recently I was diagnosed with ADHD and it felt good to have an answer to my problems but also I understand how crippling it can be with life in general especially school and relationships (as I too have a boyfriend) , I've been into exercising and weightlifting for a really long time now and that seems to help , but I have to take medication in order to focus but there's nothing wrong with it also... clearly with me being newly diagnosed it's caused me to do a lot of self reflecting and I think the key to it is just trying to have a positive outlook , good luck to you ,

You are not alone

Paige