Adhd with oppositional defiant disorder 10 y

[Lool8]

Hello, my son at 9 y his assessment demonstrate Adhd and with Odd. How you manage daily ? He refuses when I say and he can be aggressive. Anybody with this experience ? Advice ?TIA

[Mamamichl]

iWork in special education, and my trainings in CPI have been helpful with de escalating and restraints as a last resort to be able to keep everyone safe.

My stepson has a similar diagnosis (adhd with dmdd tendencies). In kindergarten he would cause room clears weekly because of his meltdowns. Being in a specialized classroom that worked on his emotions was helpful too.

If I recall, people with ODD need to have something presented to them as if it’s their idea rather than as a directive.

[Icare67 in reply to Mamamichl]

I understand working with ADHD and ODD are difficult. We have struggled with yhe same issues when children were younger. I relate to the medications and therapy. It's not an easy road, wishing you courage, strength and endurance. Your sentence stands out to me, people with ODD need to have something presented to them as if it's their idea rather than as a directive . It makes complete sense, I can see it as extremely helpful. Would you mind giving an example of speech. I would appreciate it.

[Lool8 in reply to Icare67]

Yes

[LisethHIS]

Hello, Lool8,

Thank you for contacting CHADD National Resource Center on ADHD. We have some helpful resources that can guide you in working with your son and understanding of ADHD and ODD.

chadd.org/adhd-weekly/what-...

psychcentral.com/adhd/adhd-...

podcasts.chadd.org/e/managi...

chadd.org/about-adhd/disrup...

I hope these help!

Liseth

Liseth

Health Information Specialist

CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD

chadd.org

[MommyJam]

My son has the same and its challenging. The Dev Ped prescribed Guanfacine. He also sees a CBT therapist and we communicate weekly on some of the most presenting issues. I've also included the school social worker to assist him with these issues. The medication administration really helped. But I also give him Vit D3, B12 and Omegas. Good luck

[Lool8 in reply to MommyJam]

Hello, do you think Vit D3, B12 and Omegas work ?

[MommyJam]

I didn't at first but when I stopped giving it to him I did notice a difference. I only stopped because I forgot to reorder. I had a full panel blood work done and the Ped said that some kids with ADHD are deficient in certain minerals which impact their brain function.

[MommyJam]

I'm not a healthcare professional but Renzo from Amazon was recommended by another mom with a son with ADHD. I use the Dynamite D3 and Brainy B6. I also use Nordic Naturals Omega ..I spoke to my Ped and he said they are ok to give him..so review with your developmental pediatrician. I also use lavender oil spray on his pillows at night to calm him. The way you speak to a kid with ODD is also important. I need to do more research in that area but the constant back and forth is frustrating.

[PurplePizza]

Hello, our son was diagnosed with ODD at age 3 (!) and ADHD at 7. He is currently 9 and there are some things we have found to be very helpful:

Dry erase Checklists for morning and evening routines. Instead of telling him to brush his teeth, put his clothes in the hamper, etc, we can say “Where are you on your checklist?” Same with cleaning his room, we took a picture of his clean room, broke it into different “chunks” to make the process manageable, then he knows to make his room look like the picture, one chunk at a time.

I can’t remember which of the dozens of books talked about this, but research “counter will.” For kids with ODD, they will defy/oppose your will—but if you don’t give them something to oppose, things go more smoothly. For example: “I need to pick up your brother from soccer. You can come with me or stay home, your choice. I’m leaving in 2 minutes if you want to come.” Or, I’m having lunch. I can make you a sandwich if you want. It could have been one of the books by Russell Barkley or possibly “Sulky, Rowdy, Rude” by Elven et al…probably if you google “counter will” you can find a lot.

We were dealing with a LOT of physical aggression. What worked for us was: nutritional Lithium supplements, mood probiotics, and a good magnesium supplement. Also, plenty of outlets for physical activity—he runs 2 miles a day (it is the only way he can earn video games) and does basketball and Jujitsu/wrestling. The jujitsu/wrestling has been the best for him because it’s a good workout, but also teaches guardrails around the movements (some things are “legal” and others are not because they are dangerous; if someone taps out you immediately stop, etc).

One thing we learned in parent child interaction therapy was to “praise the positive opposites” so very time he does something right, we praise him specifically and immediately “Great job putting your dirty dishes in the dishwasher!” “You were so kind to your sister when you shared your cookie” “I know it was hard to stop playing basketball but you listened to dad and stopped right away—I’m proud of you!”

Finally, sometimes I just wait it out…there are times he’ll immediately say “No!” And then 2 minutes later he’ll do exactly what I asked him to do…it’s almost like he has an immediate oppositional reaction, then after 30 seconds or so he gets over it and will comply.

It is so hard and so different from parenting my other children! But these are some things that worked for us. Best of luck to you!