Son cries so easily - ADHD

[MomofADHDBoy6]

I read a lot of kids who get angry or throw tantrums who have ADHD. My son who is now 6 has been showing emotional deregulation but not by tantrums, he cries. Like he cries a lot. And this only started happening maybe the past 6 months. I just want to see if this is normal? I know kids with ADHD have executive functioning a few years behind…maybe he is just displaying behavior that maybe a 3 or 4 year old would? Or he channels his anger through crying? But he cries more than he 3 year old sister. Also, it seems to be only at home, never in public. Does anyone else have experience with this with their kids at this age?

[FitsInNoBox]

I wish I had better advice -- but just wanted to say my son is 12 and also cries a LOT. A few days ago I asked what he wanted for breakfast and he burst into tears because the decision was overwhelming in the morning. He too seems to do better in public (hasn't been a real issue at school, for instance) but man, it can be a lot to take for all of us. I read the book "Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking" and did find some helpful strategies in there that we use sometimes to help calm him down when he is very upset. The most helpful thing is generally to separate him as a person from the behavior. So I will say something like, "your negative brain is telling you...." and we will talk about the feeling, then follow up with something like "Let's talk about what is TRUE," and sometimes that helps. Honestly, he also just needs to cry a lot, and has learned that it helps him to remove himself and have a few minutes to himself to cry in his room. Usually he eventually feels better and comes out. I really hope he can continue to learn strategies that help and harness his emotions in more positive ways. You are not alone in having an emotional kid!

[MomofADHDBoy6 in reply to FitsInNoBox]

Thank you! I will check that book out

[Mamamichl in reply to FitsInNoBox]

My 9yo has ,earned about 7 to take a break in her room about 80z of the time. She did better until her dad made her come out because she needed to go to school. I hope that book has an audio version.

[Momma_86]

Yes, my son now 11 did this often around the same age. My son on medication for ADHD/ we believe he has ASD as his sister was diagnosed. We’re now having the anger, out burst, tantrums and the crying we’ve started therapy what we’ve found out was he would get overwhelmed and go into over load because his mind wasn’t processing what was being said to him at times or being at home his safe place he would get really cranky and meltdown after holding it together all day. We also know now that the medication he was on was making it worse so we’re trying to find a new medication which has been heck.

It’s a journey, I hope our experience helps and pray it gets better for your family and son.

[MomofADHDBoy6 in reply to Momma_86]

I’m curious about the ASD…because I wonder if my son may be on the spectrum too. What signs did you see that made you think he may not just be ADHD? Also yes I think his medication also makes it worse because he’s so calm during the day and then it wears off around 4-5 and his crying is always in the evening. The medication changed his life with school and being able to finally learn, but he definitely has a harder time with his emotions in the evening.

[Momma_86 in reply to MomofADHDBoy6]

My giveaway for my son is the fact it’s more then just focus and nots being able to hold still. Also if you have one child on the spectrum there is a higher chance you may have other children on spectrum. (didn’t know this till the Doctor let me know that.) He is also very obsessed with patterns or rituals like l sing to him at bed time. I started when very little and know at age 11, if I don’t or can’t he gets very upset more upset then being let down it’s like reeking havoc on his hold day.

I will say the medical thing is so big I know that coming down off some of the meds are no joke.

[MomofADHDBoy6 in reply to Momma_86]

Thank you. My son is big on routines too. Also, he seems to socialize well at school, but my brothers family just visited for Christmas and it seems when he is not in his environment like school or family he sees all the time he has a hard time interacting. I will be keeping an eye on that as he grows to see how he progresses.

[Mamamichl]

definitely not normal for neurotypical people but very normal for neurodivergent people (like those with adhd). I wasn’t diagnosed until 38, and my emotional disregulation showed by crying while running out of class dayly throughout elementary. It was usually having to do with rejection sensitivity disphoria (rsd). It’s not necessarily the emotional maturity (though it could play a part), but it’s more about letting out pent up emotions from masking them. It’s good that he is comfortable enough to cry in front of you. He probably masks all day on public, and these emotions pile up so much that the proverbial straw that breaks the camels back happens at home…even over something small. Don’t take it personally. Just try to teach grounding techniques when he is regulated. It may help to start counseling.

[MomofADHDBoy6 in reply to Mamamichl]

Thank you! I have never heard of RSD. I will take a look at it. And I will also look at grounding techniques to help him. I like what you said that he is masking all day, which I have seen him do when he's not at home in his safe space. This info helped a lot.

[Mamamichl in reply to MomofADHDBoy6]

So RSD has no “scientific studies”, but is accepted in the community. RS (rejection sensitivity) does have scientific studies and comes with many mental health conditions.

[MomofADHDBoy6 in reply to Mamamichl]

Thank you. Yes, now that I am aware of it too, I have been better able to help him through the crying so much easier. It has helped to know what's behind the crying, and I think makes him feel like he's more understood. It's been so helpful.

[Mamamichl in reply to MomofADHDBoy6]

I’m SO GLAD! I’m happy to hear that I could help you as a parent. Although it’s hard to not take it personal, it’s the most helpful.my kid is seeing my deep breaths as triggering sometimes, while I keep explaining it’s self regulating and not always her fault. It a “me” thing.

[MomofADHDBoy6 in reply to Mamamichl]

Yes thank you!

[Crazyboymomma]

My son did this all the time too. His dr suggested Zoloft and it was a game changer!!