10 yo son with ADHD noises and constantly repeating sounds

[Twin13Momma]

Hi, has anyone had experience with how to help a child with ADHD learn to “somewhat” stay quiet? My husband is not as accepting as me and it’s driving him up a wall! Thank you!!!!☺️

[WYMom]

No suggestions as my daughter makes a lot of noise and it seems unstoppable. Good luck!

[Michigamer]

Perhaps your husband needs more work on patience and acceptance. My older son now constantly apologizes for things often beyond his control or as a first response even when he hasn’t done anything. He can see when he is irritating his dad. I’ve started targeting my husband’s reactions towards my son and things are finally improving.

[Mamamichl]

my daughter starting having tics widen she was on a stimulant. My stepkid also got tics. It seems it’s worse when kiddos are stressed out. Counseling can help with stress. My stepkid stopped after a while. Best thing to do is ignore it. If your partner is triggered, maybe get him some loop earplugs for Christmas?

[Jgirlie123 in reply to Mamamichl]

This was and is our main problem. My child almost got kicked out of school for it. But we put him on medication and it stopped the battleship/ gun explosion noises he made all day. He also just makes nonsense noises and they do make me annoyed. That’s usually my signal that he forgot to take his medication. Medicine did the trick for us and reminding him that he doesn’t need to fill the silence with noise.

[Mamamichl in reply to Jgirlie123]

So medication helped rather than hindered in your situation. The school can’t legally kick him out. That would be discrimination.

[Jgirlie123 in reply to Mamamichl]

It was private school so they can kick out whomever they want. We put him on medication in 2nd grade. He’s now 11 and in 5th grade and at another private school. Even though the school that threatened us asked us to stay once his noise making stopped, I did not want him at that school so finished out the 2nd grade there and switched schools for 3rd. He’s flourishing and doing so well. Medication worked wonders for us.

[Mamamichl in reply to Jgirlie123]

That’s something I hate about private schools. Discrimination is so bad.

[Jgirlie123 in reply to Mamamichl]

Yep. New school is fantastic though. I will say we’ve learned private doesn’t always mean better. But we landed in the right spot eventually.

[Mamamichl in reply to Jgirlie123]

I’m moving myself and my kid to charter schools. Same situation with not always meaning better, but these ones can’t be worse than the schools we were in.

[Jgirlie123 in reply to Mamamichl]

We did three schools in three years. My son adjusted to all of them and we settled on a private that really adores him and accepts him for who he is. It’s so important to interview the schools too and be honest and ask questions. I told his current school what happened at the one prior and didn’t leave anything out. They were not worried about it and put me in touch with the school counselor who was awesome. It ended up being a great fit. I didn’t realize how much schools all are so different in their attitude to learning differences. Hope you find what you are looking for.

[Mamamichl in reply to Jgirlie123]

My kid is in 4th grade and has been in 5 schools already. We’ve had to move more than we would like but this last change was important since it was like Detroit school movies. She didn’t feel safe.

[Jgirlie123 in reply to Mamamichl]

Totally. Got to do what you need to do. I am grateful that I only have one kid so we make it work financially to send him to a good school. If we had more kids we would deal with it and have to move to a better district. A bad school will also kill their confidence. It was a tough journey but we found what we were looking for. Now…. New school for middle school and have to start all over.

[Willowbee37]

Meds! Literally my son will repeat himself and make crazy noises until his concerta kicks in and then it stops. If that’s not working then I think a sit down with your husband on being more accepting is in order. Maybe he even had some ADHD which is why the noise is so hard for him to deal with. My son is the loudest but also hates loud noises. Just a thought!

[Twin13Momma in reply to Willowbee37]

I couldn’t agree more! And yes, my son does hate loud noises! So weird!

[Amethyst222]

Oh wow, i know that feeling, and it can be pretty stressful to listen to at times.

But I do my best to stay calm through the non-stop sound effects (the only thing that seems to silence him is if he’s watching tv or a video on his tablet, which is obviously not an ideal long term solution), but I also get stressed easily and sometimes just need quiet after work. I usually try to ask him nicely to be more quiet and explain that I am very tired and need him to be more quiet. Sometimes it works for awhile. He is not on any meds.

[Jgirlie123 in reply to Amethyst222]

The other thing that concerns me is noise making bothers everyone and I don’t want my kid having a hard time making and keeping friends. He already will dominate topics, perseverate , and not pick up on social cues that the others are done with that discussion. The medication for us has been a miracle. We don’t skip it, unless we can’t find any at the pharmacy due to shortage. I think it makes his life so much easier. I was very hesitant to put him on meds and my husband more so. But when we got threatened to be kicked out of school we had no choice and ran to the doctor. It was a total 180 change. We still changed schools because their support and attitude sucked but he needed meds. Now his teachers write that he’s a model student and he gets excellent conduct….. which just a few years ago it was all Needs improvement on conduct

[penn_adhd]

I bring it up to make my son aware of it because it has probably become such a habit that he doesn't even notice anymore. He used to tell me that kids were always telling him to be quiet at school even though he (thinks he) wasn't doing anything. I tend to eventually snap and ask if he needs to narrate everything (video games) or tell him to do it in his head, to himself. He is medicated, they are working, and it doesn't matter if he's on it or not when he does it. We don't give pills on the weekend or school breaks unless we're doing something where we don't want him to be overly wound up.

[Twin13Momma in reply to penn_adhd]

Same here!!! Thank you.

[Lion_Creek]

Medication (Focalin) has helped reduce/eliminate my daughter's nonstop noise-making during the day, but it's still pretty constant in the mornings and evenings! We let her know she's making repetitive noises, and sometimes we put on music to give her something else to listen to. She seems to be getting better at interrupting herself. Good luck!

[panthercity]

oh gosh! Lived that. My son is in his 20s now, but when he was younger, he was always talking or making noises. During commercials on tv, we’d say “ok! Time to get it all out!” We’d also encourage him to sing etc loud in the shower. It def can be annoying, but he’ll grow out of it.

[Klmamma]

Meds help. In the mornings before meds and evenings when they wear off, our son makes all sorts of super annoying noises. Sings loudly, sometimes about poop lol

The hilarious part is that he would be annoyed at his behavior too once his meds kick in. Remind your husband that the noise he's making (stimming) is 100 times worse inside your son's head. Sadly, he needs to let some of it out. My son has learned to control most of his socially unacceptable behaviors at this point. He's almost 10.

[Twin13Momma in reply to Klmamma]

Thank you. It’s so hard to try explaining this to my husband. It’s like he thinks yelling at him over and over to stop will make a difference. I never thought about what it must be like for my son. You’re right the meds help and it’s only before and after!

[Klmamma in reply to Twin13Momma]

Not saying I don't still lose it and yell lol but it's always at the hardest times of the day too. My husband has gotten better about not reacting during these times. I also think you should sit down with your son and come up with ways to help him get that noise out of his head in a more effective way. Maybe he'd like to color or do puzzles. Sometimes having them do something creative in their room while they make those noises helps.

We do make our son stay in his room quietly after he wakes up. It's a struggle but he's slowly able to be quiet most mornings. I just need 25 minutes to wake up calmly, get some clothes on and then I go down to make pancakes. When the pancakes are on the table, I turn on a cartoon, and call them down. The combo of Stuffing food in his mouth while watching a show helps the chaos. He takes his meds right then and most days the show distracts him til they kick in.

[Klmamma in reply to Twin13Momma]

I see everything as a life skill for them too. This noise and morning/evening chaos isn't going to go away. Even as an adult these will be the hardest parts of his day. Getting him into a solid routine now will help shape the rest of his life. Self awareness is HUGE for them. When they become aware of the different ways their brain works, they can trouble shoot better. All training and serious conversations happen in our house during medicating on board time.

[Jgirlie123 in reply to Klmamma]

Same here. Once the meds wear off it’s back to noise making and he knows it too. He talks to the tv constantly, talks while going to the bathroom, in the shower, playing with toys. I try to ignore it but also I like to make him aware too so he can be mindful and work on it. Sometimes he can other times he cannot. I’m so grateful for the focalin. It’s been life changing for us and life went from hard and many days of crying due to his school to now it’s easy.

Best of luck everyone.

[Klmamma in reply to Jgirlie123]

Focalin and guanfacine were the ones that we finally landed on. Focalin is wonderful. We're all happier.....lol at the talking in the shower and bathroom. Mine even talks in his sleep 🤣🤣

[DoodleDoo2023]

We have a 10 year old son with the same thing going on. No real solutions but we have started using ear protection/noise-cancelling headphones to help cope. We would love more ideas to help with this behavior.

[ScienceAndTravel]

I am an adult with ADHD and I have found that it is easier to avoid making noise when I have had plenty of movement in the previous few hours. This works for my 8 year old nephew as well.