I'm frazzled

[MamaMasonry]

Hello. I'm a parent of an 8 year old with extreme ADHD. Wondering about an online support group through CHADD? Also open to adopted children support groups.

He is a good kid and reading books has helped me understand how his brain jumps around. Outside behavior is excellent but at home he feels safe and is explosive. Working with a counselor to help introduce effective methods to teach that hitting/yelling is not OK. Ultimately is good that he feels safe at home, but we want to have better behavior and listening at home too.

Mostly, I'd like to connect with other parents who have this. Also, he behaves differently for my husband than me. Grrrrr..... Feeling out of control and anxious about our future.

[Totoro363]

Hey there! We’re in kind of a similar boat and I’ve been longing to find a support group of some kind! We also have an eight year old boy. He’s the sweetest ever, but also some similar issues w/ behavior.

[SurvivorFan]

Hi! I highly recommend checking out ADHD dude Ryan Wexelblatt. He has tons of YouTube videos as well as an awesome parent training course. Has helped our family immensely. As I am sure you have read, american academy of Pediatrics recommends Parent training, medication, and school support (IEP/504) plan to help kiddos with adhd. Without all 3 of these things my son (8) would not be where he is today!

[eva2022]

where are you located? In Colorado there is an online support group that meets on Tuesday evenings.

[MamaMasonry in reply to eva2022]

Wyoming. I'd love to hear more about your group and when it meets.

[marinecyan]

I wish there were more support groups because there are probably many parents in every community who could use support.

Debbie Reber, who wrote Differently Wired (a great read btw), founded Tilt Parenting and she has a well established online community. tiltparenting.com/join-us/

As for the explosiveness, I've had a lot of success with supplements with my (10 yo) son. Nutritional lithium orotate (1 mg/day) has essentially eliminated his big, scary explosions while a methylfolate multivitamin has changed his baseline from irritable to happy. If you're interested in supplementing, the book Finally Focused by James Greenblatt has been my primary guide. I'd be happy to share more information on how we figured out what my son needed if you're interested.

[Amethyst222]

I feel your pain! My almost 10 year old son behaves pretty well around others, in school, etc, even better at his Dad's house.... but for me, he exhibits a lot more attitude. I definitely see the worst of his behavior issues... anger, temper, mood swings on a daily basis. It's frustrating, and has been going on for years, only getting worse as he's getting to be a tween. I've never had a good handle on parenting him.

I have found from trial and error that speaking calmly and firmly (which is hard for me because I grew up with a father who yelled at me/punished me for everything, so I tend to naturally want to fire back and overpower) with him gets me a bit farther than the fight. I am also making an effort to try not to get sucked into his emotional drama. I think as moms, that can be an extra challenge... I am also an empath, so that doesn't always help!

[Treadingwater13]

I’m struggling with my 10 year old who saves his aggressive and frequently violent outbursts for me. He says the cruelest things he can think of, throws thibgs at me and seems to be getting off on generally bullying his way into doing whatever he likes. I have two younger girls who are terrified of him. It’s totally unmanageable and I’m reading everything I can get my hands on for advice but I am totally overwhelmed and out of my depth. I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship and one that I can never escape. He’s only just been diagnosed so waiting for the report and the treatment plan but have no way of enforcing rules such as bed time if he explodes as he will try and hurt me and threatens to kill me and heads for the cutlery drawer. Living in a nightmare!!