Son is driving...: Any advice?Our son... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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Son is driving...

Onthemove1971 profile image
8 Replies

Any advice?Our son just got his driver's license. He is a good driver but just a bit scary.


8 Replies
Carlasu profile image

Oh I am with you. Our son has his permit and we have been very reluctant to get his license. He is very upset that he doesn’t have it yet but we just don’t think he’s ready. He doesn’t listen even when we’re in the car. Ahhh!!!

At some point We’re just going to have to hand him over to our good Lord.

Pattimum profile image

Aw, that’s great he’s got his license. He must be very pleased about this little bit more independence!

I can understand it is scary but let him be!

I am looking forward to this milestone with my 2 kids in many years to come as they are still young!

ADHD_DAD profile image

We are just a few months ahead of you. My son has little interest in driving, The biggest "problem" is that he has never paid attention to how to get places. He has no idea how to get to places he goes to regularly like school, the gym, tutor. We have been providing specific instructions and encourage these short trips to build confidence thay he will be able to find his way home. We have programmed locations he frequents in the navigation systems in our vehicles and hr is comfortable using that. The independence is very important for him and the tech helps. Whatever it takes! Good luck to you.

Adhdparentspouse profile image

Glad you recognize your concerns and are seeking to build skills for your youth to become a safe driver and foster independence. Any youth driving is one of the greatest risks for their well-being and to others on the road. With ADHD, the risks are much higher, according to a lot of good research published in peer reviewed medical journals. A recent article in the New England Journal of medicine showed a training program using an audible sound when the drivers eyes left the road for too long for new drivers with ADHD was effective in greatly decreasing crashes over a year compared with those who only took driver's ed. As a military mom says, a car is essentially a bomb, so any driver must consistently demonstrate the necessary responsibility, attention, and self control to drive within the conditions you set to keep everyone on the road safe. Best wishes!

MommaofandwithADHD profile image

I have 2 driving, as a parent this has been one of the hardest things I have had to do. The one thing that we insisted on was no friends in the car for the 1st 6 months. They each needed to figure out the best way to drive for themselves without distractions. This allowed them to figure out that one needs to find the radio station they are in the mood for that day before moving the car, the other likes her k-pop streaming from the phone. Now they have each been driving for a while one for 4 years and the other for a year and they are excellent drivers. They still scare me but that is a control thing…. They have established boundaries for when they drive with friends or family about noise levels/distractions, etc. knock on wood and thank the lord, they have been very responsible, safe drivers. My oldest drives anywhere at anytime. Around the block or through the states. The other still timid and not adventurous but she is learning.

Redpanda5 profile image

I'll always remember what my BIL said after my niece got her license ----- "I wonder if my neighbors know how much danger they're in." LOL.

Seriously this is so so scary. I've been through it twice so far, one with ADHD. I also have a reluctant driver on the edge of a permit. I think we'll start with a golf cart.

I want to pass along an article I have bookmarked. It was so helpful to me and hope it can be to you as well. A study was done on the most effective techniques in teaching teens to drive.

Here are the key takeaways in case you don't subscribe to the WSJ. It's basically teaching a parent the most effective way to interact with their teen while they're in the driver seat. It is based on a study that was done. The parent coaches them how to anticipate things.

1. "Tell me about how you handled the intersection back there,” OPEN ENDED QUESTION. listen to the answer, and say, 

2. "So you did sort of a rolling stop? SUMMARIZE THEIR REPLY. After listening to any additional explanation, the parent might say, 

3. "When you don’t stop completely, it scares me. I get concerned that it might become a habit and the next time someone will be coming fast. For my peace of mind, I need to know that stopping completely becomes a habit for you.” USE "I" STATEMENTS. 

Teens in such conversations were more likely to agree, and parents’ use of the method was linked to a 21% decline in risky behaviors by teens, compared with a control group.

There you go. Good luck!

Blue_Baby_Bear profile image

I’d suggest using driving apps that prevent any texting and taking calls while driving like LIFESAVER or AT&T Drive Mode. There are many more you just have to do a little research. I also like the idea of not having any passengers for a period of time or until he builds his confidence in driving with passengers. Yes, I totally understand this is a scary time.

BLC89 profile image

Be sure he takes his meds before driving. Studies show that unmedicated ADHD driving can be the same as having 2 drinks and driving.Another option is phone somewhere out of reach and low volume radio.

Good luck

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