Self Care

[Chirojazzgirl]

Our 20 year old daughter was diagnosed at age 5 as twice exceptional. We worked with vision therapists for a full year, every week with daily home therapy. It seemed very helpful. We also did another year of occupational Therapy with the Star Center in Denver. We believed these therapies helped her function better physically but not necessarily socially. She is a very kind and empathetic but socially awkward kid, who has always had challenges making friends. As she approached middle school, the social challenges became unbearable and she was bullied so horribly that we switched schools. The new school was much better but we are convinced that she suffered so deeply from the experience at the previous school that her self esteem has never been the same. She was diagnosed with ADHD in 8th grade but refuses medication to this day. Since her middle school experience, she doesn’t take care of her personal hygiene. She is ruining her teeth (10 cavities), has her hair shaved, wears baggy, sloppy, sometimes dirty and even smelly clothing, her bedroom and car are a trashed disaster. On a bright note, she does go to work full time and loves her job. She takes loving care of her two horses and is very loyal to her one friend and roommate. People that give her a chance love her kindness, sense of humor and loyalty but she has difficulty developing friendships with quality people. We are concerned that she is not on a healthy path for a successful adult life. We love her dearly and want to help her without alienating her. We would value your suggestions. Thanks for listening!

[2Gatos]

my heart goes out to you. I wish I had some wisdom. This is a hard road. You sound like a very thoughtful parent, that is likely the biggest gift to her.

[Chirojazzgirl in reply to 2Gatos]

thank you for your kind words!

[Hidden]

That’s great that she works. Do you think her roommate would be able to support her to get to the dentist? Maybe doctor could help her by giving her something calming if she would agree to have any medicine. I understand from what you wrote that she really is against meds long term for ADHD but maybe she would agree to have medication just for the dentist visit to ease it. Many people are scared of the dentist. My son is only 9 and in the past we had trouble with getting him to agree to have fillings done. Eventually we worked out that he hates the strong light at the dentist chair and I take a thick hat for him and he puts it over his eyes and he’s fine. Even the glasses the dentist gives- it was not enough and the light was too much for him.

Your daughter is so lucky she has horses - I always felt it would be therapeutic to be around horses but we don’t have resources for it, we don’t live rural.