ADHD Hyperactive child -- morning and bedtime SO HARD

[LJZ2018]

We have a hard time with the morning and bed time-- what are some strategies when a kid is so hyper, won't follow visual schedule or runs around when directed to get dressed?

[AberdeenArms]

Hello and welcome! You're in a good place. Hopefully others will reach out to you to share ideas, but here's what worked for my ADHD child.

Establishing a routine is an absolute must. You could give your child a say in what the routine should be, but ultimately it's up to you. Think about what you want the routine to be, then share that with the child. Maybe he would want to change the order -- let him so long as what you want done gets done.

Our son was terrible about doing tasks UNLESS we attached a time to it. We put a clock in his room and he had a watch that would tell him the time. Instead of saying "please brush your teeth soon," we'd say "please brush your teeth by 9:45." And he'd respond much better to an exact time than he would a generality. Even now, he's almost 18 and when we tell him "please be out of the shower by 10:40," he's out by 10:40. What happens when the child doesn't get something done by a certain time? A privilege would get taken away -- an hour of TV time or no devices for two hours. The child will fail a few times so please make sure you can live with the result of his mistake. But sooner than later he will function better with help from a clock. I'd begin with that. By the way, this will help set him up nicely to respect curfews, deadlines and reservations as he gets older.

[STARTwHello]

My five year old son struggles at these times too! We’ve gone to tv before bed downstairs (not in his room) with my husband because it’s the only way we’ve gotten him to calm. We know to avoid certain shoes that would amp him up. We have had some REALLY tough situations before we tried this. He couldn’t calm and would get aggressive. He gets tired enough watching some shows and my husband can walk him up to bed by 8:45ish. I wake him up very slowly, open blinds etc every couple minutes, bring him fresh cold water then start reading some Pete the Cat books he really likes. If I can tell he’s ok we go to the bathroom upstairs and he goes to the bathroom and I help him get dressed (clothes we have ready to go the night before) and brush teeth. If he’s super hyper or moody we go straight downstairs to his tablet and start his breakfast. He plays some games and I slowly help him change and eventually he says he needs to go to the bathroom etc. We did just recently start meds but we do not have it set yet so that is changing things some. A weighted blanket has also really helped him to calm. He sleeps with it and we bring it in the car or different places in the house. We also listen to audio books a lot on Bluetooth headphones or on the car speaker to help him focus. It doesn’t always work but sometimes this helps when we leave parties. Please share what works if anyone is in the same boat!

[ADHD_DAD]

We have made a practice of giving my son his meds about 20 minutes before he has to get out of bed in the morning. We just wake him up, he takes the meds, and falls back to sleep. This helps with the morning routine tremendously. The rest of the morning routine involves (or involved when he was younger) checklists for everything with the order they need to be done in and the time they need to be done by with a strict "out the door" time. Reminders are needed. Five minutes to out the door. Three minutes to our the door, etc. As for night, I have found nothing that works as well as daily physical activity to assist with the nighttime routine. My son has a gym membership with a trainer that keeps him on track the 2 days a week he goes there and we walk 2- 3 miles a day together. That together with a strict bedtime and routine really helps. My son is now a teenager, so I don't expect him to go to sleep at a particular time, but he still has to follow the routine and go to his room (where he is allowed to read or watch TV) at the same time every night. This is for both of us because he "hits the wall" at a certain time at night and I need a break and some downtime myself, so this works for us. I find that he tends to fall asleep at about the same time every night after watching some TV and he gets enough sleep, so this is working. Just some ideas for you. Good luck. Be well.

[KayakingCat]

I wish our son would take meds before getting out of bed, but we've had zero luck with that. Having a lot of structure helps, as does reducing the number of transitions. Small rewards for doing things quickly and exactly, and taking privileges away when things go really off the rails. Agree with ADHD_DAD and some of the others that using exact times is more helpful than charts and checklists, which just get ignored.