Inattentive ADD - trying to find right medication - stimulants make her defiant and avoid schoolwork, nonstimulants haven’t been successful

[WDWFan123]

My 9yo daughter has inattentive ADD and we are struggling to find the right medication. I homeschool as well - so I see for myself how the different meds manifest. After daytrana patch (or adderall XR at a different time) - refuses to do schoolwork, is defiant to me and is rude to her little sister. And then is hyper socially aware and seems insecure when out among her peers. She cried that it’s “hard to make friends” and it breaks my heart. Isn’t there something that will help her to concentrate on schoolwork and help her feel a bit more confident? I totally get that self-esteem comes from within and doing hard things and eventually succeeding - but she is having a hard time really succeeding at anything. I’m wondering if an additional medication of Zoloft or something to help with what appears to be social anxiety. I see her struggle to get the words out or know what to say to kids her age. Would so greatly appreciate any feedback or if anyone else has experienced this too and what to do. We’ve tried intuniv before and discontinued as she SAID she didn’t like the way it make her feel AND about 10min after taking the lowest dose, she went to bed and slept hard for a couple hours. (Way before bedtime).

Feeling at a loss - feel her educational and social development are so stunted by this condition - but at a loss as to what “formula” will help her best - we know that she needs SOME medication assistance - we’ve tried going without.

So grateful for this community - new to it, but so glad for support and seasoned “professional” advice from families who are in the trenches!

Thank you!!

[Booksmart]

Hi there,I could have written this post almost word for word as it is happening the same way with my 13 year old boy. He just started Guanfacine 2 days ago but he had the same issues with stimulants and being defiant in school (I really think the defiance is anxiety). If this guanfacine does not end up working, Zoloft low dose is our next step so I think you are on the right track for your next step in medication.

[WDWFan123 in reply to Booksmart]

Thank you SO much for your note. I don't know if anyone else experienced this also - but it was odd...when we first started medication, it seemed like we were the exception to have to request different ones to try to get the right fit - I got the feeling that the DR normally prescribed one and that was a wrap! We had added Guanfacine to the prescription awhile back, so I may see about that again. I mentioned the Zoloft possibility at our last appointment - but the DR said she'd like to stick with finding the right ADHD medication first. We just started on QuillaChew XR to see if that would help. I am so hopeful - but we will see. I just want her to have as 'normal' an experience as possible. Going to keep an eye on the anxiety in social situations and the struggle - and will most certainly circle back to that with the DR if I feel she's in need of something for her social anxiety. She needs to have a shot at being able to form and maintain friendships. Thank you again!

[GoDukes]

Hey there, I feel for you and the frustration you must be feeling. My son is 12 and has had issues with stimulants similar to what you describe. We have tried a lot of different things as well. We have found that Foculin seems to cause the least amount of anxiety in him, but still too much. As Booksmart mentioned, I believe the irritability, anger and social awkwardness is a function of his anxiety. We tried Guanfacine in the evenings when he was younger and it seemed to help him come down off of the Foculin every day. As he grew and we needed to increase the Foculin, the anxiety got much worse during the day. We eventually put him on Prozac to go with the Foculin and seem to have found a good combination. He is happier than he has been in awhile and virtually no irritability. After 8 months or so, we are starting to see more focus issues and distracting behavior in school so we may have to increase the Foculin. It's always a fluid thing and a reevaluation. I hope this helps. I wish you the best!

[WDWFan123 in reply to GoDukes]

This is SO helpful - I can't tell you how much I appreciate you and your note! SO nice to hear that the Prozac helped him with the Foculin angst and that the irritability was so much better!! I mentioned above to Booksmart that when I first posed the anti-anxiety med to the DR, she wanted to wait to see how the new ADHD medication (QuillaChewXR) she was prescribing manifested, and I can certainly appreciate that - I wouldn't want to start 2 new medications at the same time. But if this is the one that FINALLY helps provide focus and brings about minimal irritability, etc, and she has been on it long enough to give me a pretty good baseline - I will definitely revisit the topic of an anti-anxiety for her again as I see how the social situation develops. I think we tried Focalin in the very beginning of her diagnosis, but the irritability and anger she showed threw me off so I discontinued her on it and began the journey to find the right one. Knowing that she is now 2 years older and weighs more than when she first had it - that one is on my radar again to ask about if this new one doesn't work. Thank you SO much and wishing you the best as well!!

[Angel06]

Yes at age 9 my son too felt lonely and said he hardly had friends. I took him to indoor play area over the weekends and it kept him happy like rock climbing and jumping on the trampoline. Also in evening hours after coming from school, I played Chess with him weekly 3-4 times and it helped. During homework time, I had Alexa play calm music which kept him focused. Hope this helps.

[WDWFan123 in reply to Angel06]

Beautiful. What a positive experience you gave your son in those activities! Sounds like you were and are doing things to help him physically (indoor play gym) and mentally (Chess) - that's a pretty cool game for him to be able to play and hopefully will increase his self-confidence. Thank you for taking the time to share - it definitely helps!!

[anirush]

Both of my grandsons are on a combo of medications, no one thing has worked by itself. The sleepiness with Intuniv will wear off after a couple or weeks. Both are on that with either Straterra or Wellbutrin.My 17 year old grandson is in a dual credit program but has severe social anxiety and few friends. The one boy he is friends with in school has been in trouble with the school and with us. But grandson continues to hang out with him in school and online. But he seems to be happy with few friends.

[WDWFan123 in reply to anirush]

Your grandsons are lucky to have you! It's so hard when you see them struggling with friends! Glad he is happy with having a few - think if you have a few, if they are good and true - that is enough!, but will keep you & him in my prayers. Also hope that the friend who gets in a lot of trouble can get some help too - life can be tough - but blessed are those who have advocates for them in their family.