My six-year-old son has been diagnosed with ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, anxiety and depression/ mood disorder. He has constant aggression and violent outbursts. Poor guy is really suffering. As is our family. He is most aggressive with us (his parents) and his little sister (she is only 2.5 years-old We’ve been trying different medications for over 1.5 years and nothing has changed. If anything, things have gotten worse. I feel like we need to make a change in our care team or get a second opinion or just do something else because what we are doing (ABA therapy, psychiatry, OT, therapy for parenting strategies) is clearly not working. What are we missing? Is there a type of therapy, specialist, testing that you have found useful that we have not tried (current therapies listed above)? I feel like it’s time for a new psychiatrist so I’m working on that but otherwise I am totally unsure. Maybe a different OT? This is taking a huge toll on our family, our marriage, my poor daughter is terrified and my baby boy is suffering so badly! I will do anything, pay anything and go anywhere to help him and repair our family.
Thank you for listening. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. No one truly understands, and honestly, I’m a bit ashamed to talk about it and I don’t want my son to be labeled as the “bad” kid at such a young age. He can’t help it- He needs more help and support.
Thank you!
Mac
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WilburRiley
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Well.. you have come to a place that is safe and many of us have dealt with what you are going through. This is a long journey, but from my experiences once things work life will get better. When our son was 6 years old I was terrified he was going to go to jail when he was older or worse.. I feel your pain. Of course all kids are different.. but a few things that worked for us was to tell our son we love him every night when he goes to bed. We would explain we do not like his behavior, but that we love him. I know this really helped him in learning to deal with all of the challenges he was struggling with.
No matter what was going on we tried our best to balance school (which he hated) with sports and activities he loved and could be successful at ( rock climbing, Tae Kwan Do, etc) so he could gain confidence.
We then started to support him with 3 tools: thearpy ( we have always attended together), medication (which helped control the symptom- stimulant and non-stimulant) and reasonable accommodation in school ( a 504 plan). We then discovered what worked best with demands at home with him knowing his responsibilities.
We knew that once everything was set up it would take time for him to handle daily challenges ( school, peers, home and acceptance of himself).
I know you have a lot going on but I encourage you to look at older post on this site so when you have questions you have a place to get answers. There will be many issues that come up ( lying, taking food, not turning in homework that is complete, etc) all of these are addressed in older posts.
We are always here for you and want you to know you are not alone.. please reach out so we can share our experience with you.
One last thing.. I know this sounds weird, but here is my quote "when it is working.. it will be working.."
Your psychiatrist ever recommend broad spectrum micronutrients? Ours did, and it made all the difference. It may be worth you investigating. There are two companies, Hardy Nutritionals and True Hope. Wishing you all the best!
I would recommend seeing another psychiatrist. As others have said it’s a long journey to find the right medicine but once you do, you will know it and it will make a big difference. You have to be your son’s biggest advocate and if you feel progress isn’t being made, move on. I started this journey with my son at age 5 and went through 3 doctors and 8 different meds before we found one that worked. And some of the meds made my son very anger and totally changed his personality. Keep record of the different meds he’s tried (pros/cons) so you have a record for a new doctor. My son is almost 17 and doing well so there is hope once you find the right doctor/meds. My guys also has therapy with a counselor to talk with.
Wishing you the best and continue to fight for your little guy!
Totally understand what you are in, I am a parent dealing with a bigger asteroid and now looking at few missing bricks to know why ?
Came across this TED show of Dr. Stuart Brown a play researcher and psychiatrist emphasizing on the importance of play and play therapy. We as parents including me is running behind immediate fix, not realizing there is something major missing . Today stress / Anxiety/ boredom is a part of every single person. Play and outdoor activities had reduced significantly due to busy lifestyle. One of the missing card is this ! . Play / CBT / Mindfulness including meditation can work around before going into medications on young kids. These are my thoughts and view .
My sister is a behavioral therapist who used to work with children on the spectrum. Now she only consults. After many years of experience, she always says there is great ABA and ABA that might as well not even be called therapy. Try a company called Autism Partnership. If they aren’t near you, Maybe they can recommend another agency that is. Don’t give up. Once he gets the support he needs, things will fall into place.
As Onthemove says, this is a great place for advice from people going through the same things you are. I will add information on a teaching strategy that has been proven to improve all kinds of behaviors. I don't expect you to be able to get your school to adopt Pax GBG but due to the pandemic Pax has posted tools for parents to use at home.These tools are what I call the "bells and whistles" that go along with Pax Good Behavior Game for elementary school teachers. Each one has been researched, tested and refined. Dr. Dennis Embry combed through the behavior world finding things that worked and reducing them to their smallest components that can't be misused or misunderstood. In 1999 at the Columbine Shooting Conference he met a Johns Hopkins professor Shep Kellum, who had used GBG in a study of Baltimore first graders in 1984 and followed the kids for 15 years1. GBG was a brain changer and Embry improved it. These tools will make your life better and help improve your kids’ behaviors, but the GBG part actually changes the structure of the prefrontal cortex where decision making and self-control are developed. GBG actually exercises the brain in self-control by getting kids excited in class by winning team contests in which the prize is a physical activity e.g jumping jacks, and then having them get back to work. Done several times a day, the kids develop their own control instead of a teacher having to tell them to sit down. Their ability to self-control then has tremendous effects on behavior all through their lives.
1NIDA Notes. “Behavior Game Played in Primary Grades Reduces Later Drug-Related Problems.” Volume 23, Number 1, April 2010. National Institute on Drug Abuse. Also reduced classifications including ADHD.
Our 10 year old has the same diagnosis as your son and we found that risperidone helped him quite a bit, and then added Lamictal. Today at 10 we have him on only guanfacine and he gets by but I feel like we still need to add a mood regulator to help with his general negativity/irritability. But risperidone was a game changer for us, and I believe we started him on that at age 5/kindergarten because we were desperate and he was having HUGE meltdowns at school.
Our son is 12. He has ASD and the anxiety, attention issues that go with it. I think age six was one of the hardest. It does get easier. Our little guys are affected by not understanding the perspective of others and it takes time and maturity for them to develop this, not to mention pragmatic language therapy by a speech pathologist. Our son tells us now of how he perceived our gentle corrections or actions and it’s so sad because it shows that he had no insight into why things were occurring and it all seemed so arbitrary and unfair. With that and sensory issues, his little body was on defense all the time resulting in behavior issues. Have you read Michelle Garcia Winner? She has a series for our littles on perspective taking but a trained speech pathologist would really help your son “get it”. They are familiar with her program and social thinking. We’ve found that a combination of really good, really experienced, autism society recommended ABA (as another poster noted, some ABA is NOT therapeutic and is even traumatic) along with instruction in social thinking/pragmatic language is the best way to go. We found the limited ABA we had to be most helpful for us—we learned about positive parenting, planned ignoring, using first this, then you do that with natural reinforcers, not punishing, etc. Using written /pictorial schedules and having an established routine also help encourage self-regulation and reduce nagging. Make sure you hook into a parent group for kids on the spectrum. Don’t make the mistake of waiting or thinking you don’t need that type of specialized group. It will enrich your and your child’s life. Also check out Debbie Reder of the Differently Wired website. Big hugs. It truly gets better with time and the support you have put in place. Hang in there.
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We’ve been trying different medications for over 1.5 years and nothing has changed. If anything, things have gotten worse. I feel like we need to make a change in our care team or get a second opinion or just do something else because what we are doing (ABA therapy, psychiatry, OT, therapy for parenting strategies) is clearly not working. What are we missing? Is there a type of therapy, specialist, testing that you have found useful that we have not tried (current therapies listed above)? I feel like it’s time for a new psychiatrist so I’m working on that but otherwise I am totally unsure. Maybe a different OT? This is taking a huge toll on our family, our marriage, my poor daughter is terrified and my baby boy is suffering so badly! I will do anything, pay anything and go anywhere to help him and repair our family. 
Update on 8 year old with ADHD/ODD- residential facility 
my 5 year old with adhd 
Need to vent, any advice is welcome
really struggling w aggression 
At a loss, need help!!
