15 yr old with bad hygiene

[kaoskrsp]

My 15 year old son misses the toilet when urinating and doesn't bother to wipe it. He leaves empty shampoo bottles in shower until I tell him to throw it away. Does anyone else still have to instruct their teen down to the smallest detail.

[Tmack5]

Absolutely yes! I had to make my 13yo retake a shower because he did it the first time without washing his behind. The hardest part is the engaging the confusion he has about why he needs to wash his whole body, something we worked on with him as a toddler! It's hard to separate ADHD from normal teen behavior, at least for me.

[spookyscaryskeletons in reply to Tmack5]

It is hard for me as well.

[katcald in reply to Tmack5]

That’s what I’ve been asking for years - what’s normal boy behavior and what’s ADHD

[sfkimgm]

Sounds like a lot of guys in my college frosh dorm and a few housemates I had post graduation! It is hard to know what are normal teen challenges, what are concerning behaviors, and what are problems heightened by our own fatigue as parents.

[MomAndy]

I have had to make my kid “reshower” because he came out with armpits still smelling of B.O. Also, he’s same as yours with empty bottles. And this is not even the kid with with ADHD!

[Diymom]

There is a bit of ambivilence to taking responsibility to toss communal trash...kids often feel like its not their problem. Teens are often worse than toddlers in their ability to tap into those automatic impulses. My toddlers learned and knew where things went and would put them back in their place as I trained.. They grow up and suddenly they have amnesia and loss of willpower to use their bodies to do basic human stuff.

I also think the environment kids are in, so oversaturated with stimuli, so ephemeral in rewards that small, non dopamine producing acts are ignored in pursuit of the more alluring next step to getting back on the phone. Rewards...maybe if the trash can had a great new meme pop up for each tossed item...it would occur to teens to throw their trash away. Their brains are hotwired for certain neurological pathways in general due to the electronic environment and addibg ADHD...you get lots of thibgs ignired and not considered because they arent exciting or giving them the reaction/interaction they seek.

I would say it may be easier to give the boy a funnel or install a urinal outside than expect consideration or thought.

Ive slacked over the holidays, but usually, when i discover urine on the back of my toilet seat where it attaches to the bowl, I call in both my kids if I dont know or the one i know for sure did it and i have them remove the lid and put it in the tub, get in the tub and use the nozzle and toulet bowl cleaner and some gentle cleanser to wash the whole thibg while I clean the bowl.

I make it a known reaction to their action and usually they are pretty careful...

Flushing is another matter...

I use the slow close lid with the snap off covers on the bolts...the toilet lid slides off with a little tug...makes life easy.

We are moving to a house with old toilet lids. I absolutely consider changing these out to what i currebtly have to be an absolute.. Two boys under 10...gross

[Bootsie1 in reply to Diymom]

I love everything you said here!

[Diymom in reply to Bootsie1]

At new house installing new toilet seat base and lid... At 40 bucks for the quick remove...we with boys cannot afford to go on without one.KOHLER K-4639-0 Cachet Quiet Close Toilet Seat, White, Round

Quick release hinges!

[anirush]

Mostly a teen thing although ADHD puts them 3 to 5 years behind their peers. When my grandson was in marching band the coach was constantly yelling about BO.

My now 17-year-old grandson has gone to the other extreme, 30-minute showers, so particular about how his clothes are washed. Guess that's better than the other though.

[Redpanda5]

I learned a dirty little secret from my college son over Christmas break.

Him: “Mom, I clean my apartment on Sundays. I don’t do it at home because you’re here.”

🙄

There you go. They get lax at home because mom will help or force them. When they don’t have you off at college they know that the buck stops with them. And yes, when home visiting they revert back!

He left last weekend to go back and I have to run to UPS because he forgot to pack all his socks. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[Bootsie1 in reply to Redpanda5]

When my daughter came home from break she brought two weeks plus worth of dirty laundry instead of packing a bag. That’s fine with me and I’m happy to do her laundry while she’s home but she neglected to bring home some important clothing items such as a swim suit (we live near the beach). Last week, I also had the same trip to UPS to send my daughters forgotten scrubs for nursing school and her phone charger.

On that note, she also JUST started taking meds for her ADHD and feels it is a game changer!! I’m excited for her. 🙂

[spookyscaryskeletons]

Yes! I feel your pain. Never throws trash away. Would prefer to lay it beside the trash can instead of inside the can. Poor hygiene, and bathroom is like a wasteland. It does seem that instructions have to be given in extreme detail. It can be so frustrating.

[Janice_H]

Yes I have a 14 y.o. with adhd that has the same issues. He urinates on the seat and doesn't wipe it, will not wash his hair despite reminders, doesn't brush his teeth long enough, takes a shower but has strong underarm odor. I am constantly telling him about the funky hair, bad breath and repulsive underarm and foot odors. He requires constant directions and reminders. This has been going on for several years.

[Bootsie1 in reply to Janice_H]

Once my 14 yo sons medication kicks in, I know it because he jumps in the shower, brushes his teeth and even puts deodorant and cologne on! Empty shampoo bottle remains in the tub tho!!😆

[ADHD_DAD]

I have thought about your question for a few days. In my opinion, this is ADHD not boys being boys. My suggestion is that just like the one posted on the door to remind him of what needs to go in the backpack and the one by the closet reminding him of what clothes to get out, etc. that you post a laminated list right in the shower listing what needs to be washed. Remember, it is particularly difficult for children with ADHD to focus on things that are boring, and what's more boring than a shower? Another suggestion is a water proof Bluetooth speaker to play music in the shower. It helps. Shower not so boring. The toilet is tough because before meds kick in in the morning, it's hard not to move while peeing. Perhaps ask him to just use his own bathroom or stick to one with tile floors. All of this is ADHD. Good luck to you.