Recently starting medication

[sourdoughrunner]

I just recently started my child on Concerta and have been having mixed feelings about putting him on medication to begin with when he was diagnosed with ADHD (attention and organization shown the most). I didn't want to jump to medication and wanted to try other approaches first, but I'm still finding myself fighting to do small things like homework, getting ready for school/bed and even brushing his teeth. I'm feeling guilty for starting the medication, even though I know it may help down the road. Is this a normal feeling to have for anyone starting out?

[ADHD_DAD]

Hi. Yes. Completely normal. I think we all start off that way and then, in retrospect, it's hard to know why. Now I feel guilty for not having started meds sooner. Just part of being a parent I think. We are all just trying to do what's best. My amazing son with ADHD often helps put things into perspective for me. In addition to having ADHD he is also nearsighted and wears glasses. He once said that to him his ADHD meds are like his glasses. He can live without either, but they help him focus. Once I knew of his nearsightedness, I wouldn't have dreamed of withholding glasses, yet I withheld meds (but not for long). Now I can't imagine sending him to school and expecting him to do his best without his glasses and medications. Hard to believe I ever did that. So, here's the silly parent cycle: feel guilty for giving meds then in time feel guilty for ever having withheld them.

You are doing the right thing for your child. Nothing for you to feel guilty about.

Let me add that I have learned in my 8 years on this journey that ADHD management is a 3 legged stool: medications, accommodations at school, and lifestyle modification at home (routines, strict bedtimes, knowing when he'll hit the wall and leaving the "party" or shooing guests out before that, etc). My son was pretty close to a mess at age 8 and now he's summa cum laude at school. ADHD can't be cured (and doesn't go away) but it can be managed, like any other chronic medical condition (or nearsightedness). Hang in there. It will be tough, but there will be more good times than bad. Be well.

[MNmom99]

Hi there, yes I think we all feel that way with meds , I had a super bad anxiety attack like , when I finally decided to my sons doc about getting a prescription for him. We worked on other methods for almost a year and we decided none of it was working well enough so for my sons sake we got meds prescribed. I wish I’d have done it sooner, but I’m glad We tried other options first because you never know each child is different. But to see how well he did on it, was amazing. My poor 5 year old was at the point he could hardly answer a question because he couldn't focus long enough, he couldn’t sit still long enough to get dressed and so easily distracted that was heartbreaking, but to see how well he can focus and slow himself down while on meds was a life changer. It helps him use his brakes his doc describes ADHD for kids as they can’t use their brakes well. The guilt will pass when you see the difference it makes for your child. I couldn’t imagine myself having to deal with some of the stuff my child suffers from this condition unmedicated. It’s unfortunate that it may be a few different meds or doses to get the right one for your child, we’ve had to adjust our sons a few times, same meds different doses. I’ve heard you can get dna testing done also to find out which type of Med your child’s body would metabolize best. Don’t feel guilty you never know until your try. Just educate yourself as much as you can about the medication and watch carefully for side effects but don’t beat yourself up your a great parent and kudos to you for doing what you think may be best for your child even if it’s out of your comfort zone. Hang in there 🙂

[Maryca1974 in reply to MNmom99]

We did the DNA testing after our first try with meds turned out badly. Our psychiatrist recommended it: Gene sight. It’s a cheek swab and was worth the $300. It’s always stressful to choose to give your kids meds, especially when there are so many voices everywhere saying that adhd is over diagnosed, and that meds are bad.

[Aloysia in reply to Maryca1974]

Hi - This test sounded great. So I looked at a sample report online. Unfortunately, it doesn't cover typical ADHD drugs (at least not yet). However it does cover antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, and anxiety meds. So if your kid needs those types of drugs, this report will definitely help find the drugs their body can handle. Hopefully this company or another company will create a test that includes the ADHD drugs in the future.

[LabLover2]

We like Concerta but still have the same challenges you mention. I will suggest you watch ADHD Dude on YouTube for behavior issues etc. His approach is different in some ways.

We try to use a reward system. So if our son doesn't comply with some task like chores, homework, brushing teeth, showering, or is disrespectful he loses time on his computer game.

Happy to talk or just listen to you vent anytime! [e-mail]

[Onthemove1971]

Thank you for your post. Once we got the diagnosis for our son we started with medication. We knew that every other "tool" could be so much harder for him to use because he struggled with impulse control and focus. Once we got the medication on board the other tools really assist him. As you said, the basic day to day necessities were so hard for him without medication. Like others have posted, for us it was like our child needed glasses to see. Once I started thinking that way I knew we were on the right track. I wish you the best with this journey.