My son was recently diagnosed

[JAG0512]

Hello I'm brand new to this page. My almost 4 year old was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I have really been struggling with behaviors lately especially with him not listening and thinking me being stern or firm with him is a joke. He has just been completely wild an impossible to calm down. I'm also a single mother which makes it even harder. I have zero help. I don't know a whole lot about this disorder yet as is very new for us. Can anyone share with me at what age their children started medication and what experiences they have had with it? Any other tips and tricks on how to manage this. Really just looking for some support also with people that are also struggling. Some days I'm literally losing my mind. Thank you so much

[HelpGrandma2017]

My grandson started medications for ADHD and odd a definite disorder right before preschool in California they let you start at 5 get the school involved right away with an assessment asap get him a councler heartland child and family service or you can ask child protection services they can help too. If you have a place that you can get resource get them ask for help my grandson he takes Vviance and it works pretty well he has calmed down a lot I wish you luck Dm me if you still need advice I'm willing to help. I been there with no help or support. If you need to talk you can message me and I'll give you my number. Linda

[JAG0512 in reply to HelpGrandma2017]

Thank you for your response. Yes he is starting a program at the school next month here in WA state called child find. It's to get kids with special needs (autism, ADHD, etc) ready for kindergarten. They develop and IEP and all that. So that's our first step

[BLC89]

Hello JAG0512,Welcome to the group. I'm sorry you are struggling right now. I know it can be rough especially with no support. You should be able to find support and kindred spirits here.

As far as suggestions I recommend Dr. Hallowell's book "ADHD 2.0". It explains ADHD and is an easy read or listen on audible. Dr Hallowell is one of the most positive experts out there. He believes ADHD is "a Ferrari brain with bicycle brakes. You need to strengthen your brakes, but your brain is fantastic!" He talks about brain science and medications.

My kids started on meds as soon as we had a diagnosis, age 8 and 10. I know many people start kids on meds at younger ages like your son.

The medications are safe and effective, although you may need to try a couple different ones to find the right fit - it's worth finding the right one. The medications can be a life saver.

They have found the the medications are neuro-protective and can help retrain the brain taking advantage of neuroplasticity - all that to say they work well.

You can tell within a day or two if the medication is helping so it can be rather quick to try different ones to find a good fit.

I hope that helps. Hang in there and take care of yourself as best you can.

BLC89

Full disclosure: I am an ADHD Parent Coach. I have been married to ADHD for nearly 30 years and raised two kids who have ADHD.

[JAG0512 in reply to BLC89]

Oh wow thank you so much for your response. I will definitely get that book.

[Jkurkie0612]

hang in there! You got this! We are also pretty new. Our son started having symptoms around 3 or 4 but a diagnosis was given around 6 or 7. He’s now 8. Talk to your school about support. Our state has a birth to 3 program that provides support. Your pediatrician should have some recommendations as well.

We have chosen to not do medication for now. He’s doing well. We implemented a behavior chart, getting into therapy and always looking for new ways to support him. I will say, I do feel like 3 and 4 is a hard age overall so adding an ADHD diagnosis was super rough for us. Give him and yourself grace. Remember he’s just a little boy with a wildly busy brain. When our son was that little, and got really “wild” his teachers would let him go for a walk with someone and at home, we would say “wow.. you have a lot of energy or you are little upset , would you like a hug.” For some reason hugs really mean a lot to our son. He will randomly come up to us today and ask for hugs.” Generally when he’s wild, our son was bored and wanted something to do. We offer a lot choices to allow him to take power in decisions. (Avoiding tantrums) Try to be calm. It’s okay to walk away. ❤️ shoot me a note if you want to connect.

[JAG0512 in reply to Jkurkie0612]

Thank you so much for your response and those tips and tricks. I'm working on not getting upset when he's acting "wild" because I know now he can't help it. So will try some of those things. Thank you

[arrh121]

We started our son on medications at 4y9mo, his behavior was completely out of control and we started with a non-stimulant (though we also tried stimulants).

We also did PCIT (parent/child interaction therapy) which helped us learn better techniques to handle his behavior.

Both of those were helpful, the medication probably a bit more so. Three years later, he is doing well in school and still taking medication. Good luck with everything!

[JAG0512 in reply to arrh121]

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. It helps knowing others with kids close in age to mine has success with medications. Thanks again

[Mamatried12]

You are not alone! We were in this situation a couple years ago when my son was kicked out of a couple preschools for not complying and exhibiting "aggressive" behaviors. The first step was to get him in line to be evaluated by the county school system. The most helpful thing for us was to find an occupational therapist that could educate us on the needs behind the behaviors. My 5 year old son also has sensory processing disorder, so there were some practices that would help regulate his body which helped with his attention.

We did keep on the path to making school bearable. We got in to see a child psychiatrist and just started a small does of methylphenidate (ritalin) and it has been a tremendous help with the classroom behaviors. Its a long journey, but it will get more manageable! Hang in there!

[JAG0512 in reply to Mamatried12]

Yes he was just evaluated by a program through the school and he met the criteria and will be starting it next month. Looking forward to that extra help

[MomofADHDBoy6]

Hello, welcome to the community. I have found so much support and advice here and I'm glad you found us. Our son was diagnosed early as well. He was 5 and 1/2 when he was first diagnosed and our pediatrician suggested medication right away. He really struggled with learning and had such severe adhd he wasn't able to learn even his alphabet. The medication changed his trajectory with school and had boosted his self esteem so much. We are still growing and learning so I don't have a whole ton of advice, but I want to commend you for intervening so early for your child. It is hard to deal with this as a parent and trying to find your footing, especially in the beginning, so my main piece of advice is to give yourself to props mama! You seeking out resources so early is going to change your kiddos life for the better! The only other thing I can say with also having such a young child diagnosed, is routines. Lots of routines. That seems to bring some stability and peace for my son, as he knows what to expect every day. Oh, and lots of 5 minute warnings! Transitions are hard. I hope some of that helps, and hope you find the support you need as you move forward.

[JAG0512 in reply to MomofADHDBoy6]

Yes I do stuck to routines and we do do the 5-15 min warnings. I will tell him about 15 mins before bed that it's gonna be time for bed and I'll remind him ever couple mins. Things like that. And that does help. Thank you so much for your response

[Jkurkie0612 in reply to JAG0512]

One thing that has helped us is visual timers. We basically use them for everything. If you google visual timer, there are tons. One thing I wish I would have done sooner than i helping us to day. is visual "checklist" like morning and bedtime routine with a reward when complete. That has really helped us move through our evenings with less "tantrums or outbursts"

[amjohnson3]

Hi - Mostly just going to echo the other comments, especially to note that 3 and 4 are *hard*, even without ADHD, so extra hard with. As others have said, it will get better. Our son was diagnosed at 5 and will turn 6 in March. Preschool was rough. We started elementary school without meds; we're trying to assess whether or not we should start considering them. One thing that helped us a lot was melatonin for sleeping. I don't know if your kiddo has this trouble, but our son didn't recognize when his body/brain were tired and bedtimes were a total nightmare for, like, a year or more. Melantonin (1/2 mg) has been an incredible help. He still isn't eager to go to bed most nights but it's better, and once he's in bed, he actually relaxes and generally doesn't have any trouble falling asleep after a story (vs. my being in there for an hour or more while he fidgets and talks, etc., etc.). It will also help as your kid gets more verbal and can articulate what he's having trouble with--I can't imagine how frustrating it is to have all that energy, etc., and not be able to explain how you're feeling or what you need. (Our son is also a very pro-hug kid. Touch seems to be really grounding for some neurodivergent kids.) Learning to take a deep breath (there are some good resources for teaching little kids how to do this) is also helpful. Transitions are hard; prepping ahead can help a lot, by which I mean letting your son know what's coming. It's really helped to have a specific activity that's coming up next, rather than just "It's time to turn off the TV," or "We need to get in the car." ("Pick a Hot Wheel to take in the car," e.g. Doesn't have to be complicated.) Anyway. Good luck and hang in there.

[JAG0512]

Thank you so much for your note. Thankfully bed time isn't really a issue and he sleeps all night.