Therapy for parents of children with ADHD?

[skysoblue]

How many or do any of you with a child with ADHD see a therapist yourself? There are some days when I am absolutely ready to scream after a particularly challenging day with my son or hearing about how he is struggling in school and I wonder if someone other than my spouse could help me think about things in a different way. I know that how I'm feeling about him sometimes doesn't lend to being the best parent I can be, so I'm wondering if others seek the help of therapy for themselves too and have you found it beneficial?

[Birdwatcher19]

I see a therapist for myself, though I also have ADHD. However, even before my own diagnosis, I saw a therapist to help with some of the stress around parenting a very intense child (and the guilt and self-doubt that accompanied it), and I found it to be a huge help. I say go for it; I doubt you’ll regret it. I’d suggest seeking out a cognitive-behavioral therapist. Hang in there. It’s not easy, especially right now.

[skysoblue in reply to Birdwatcher19]

Thank you for your response. Yes, guilt, self doubt and sometimes how I respond to him can be overwhelming. I have been thinking I wanted to talk to someone but didn't know if others had the same feelings. Thank you again.

[Birdwatcher19 in reply to skysoblue]

I suspect everyone here has felt this way at times. It’s completely natural, and you are definitely not alone. Getting help for yourself can only help your child. It’s like putting your own oxygen mask on first before helping your child with his.

[N_37]

Oh yeah - every other week, sometimes every week. Been going to therapy for five years now, but switched therapists once I became a stepmom - to a therapist who could help me understand myself better so I then be a better parent. I still talk to her about allllll kinds of things (like depression and anxiety) but she gives me a heck load of coping tools that help me when I’m feeling out of control in my situation or feeling insecure about my role as a stepparent. Adhd adds a lot of complexity and since both my stepson and partner have it (and both have different symptoms and needs) therapy helps me be more empathetic, less hard on myself, and more forgiving of well, everything.

[skysoblue in reply to N_37]

Thank you for your insight.

[lovemyboy20]

My son with ADHD is in his first year of college and has experienced difficulties with his ADHD. I see a therapist every other week and it’s been very helpful navigating this first year of college as a parent. I wish I would have done this when he was younger.

[skysoblue in reply to lovemyboy20]

Thank you for sharing your experience.

[Vavai]

You are definitely not alone. I often feel overwhelmed and lost as to what I can do to help my son. I too react in ways I regret later, as the stress of life problems, work and raising a son with ADHD can sometimes feel like constantly climbing a mountain. My faith helps though and finding moments of spiritual healing helps me get over some moments of despair. Have you tried Meditation? if you can just find a few moments for yourself during the day to isolate and breathe, it will give you strength. You are not alone though.

[skysoblue in reply to Vavai]

Thank you. I do get time for myself which is truly a benefit.

[GREASE512 in reply to Vavai]

This has been my experience with my 13 year old son. It is very frustrating and sometimes I feel so helpless. I am getting therapy for my anxiety, meditation, daily mindfulness activities for 5-10 minutes when needed. I am currently trying to find a therapist for CBT to provide him with strategies that he can use for executive functioning especially for emotional and mental daily challenges.

[bachata20]

Absolutely go. I have been seeing someone on and off for years now and plan to see someone more regularly from now each week if possible/can afford it. I have realised I am a different parent to my ADHD child than I am to my neurotypical child. ADHD kids throw us to the edge, it's so important we have the extra support we need as parents.

[skysoblue in reply to bachata20]

Thank you and yes, this exactly. He is our only child and we were amazingly lucky to be able to adopt him at birth, so then to share with anyone who isn't totally objective about what we sometimes go through on a daily basis in our household seems uncomfortable. We have support for him 504, therapy and medication but as we know, kids are who they are with their parents and sometimes it defeating.

[bachata20 in reply to skysoblue]

Maybe you could also look for a family therapist who looks at the whole family picture and not just the child or just you? Some specialise in helping individuals/families who specifically have a child with additional needs. There are different options out there, speak to/try a few and see what works best for you.

[skysoblue in reply to bachata20]

Good thought!

[MelissaD2020]

Sounds like (in addition to individual therapy), we'd all really benefit from a "Parents of ADHD kids" support group. Any of you in Los Angeles?!

[skysoblue in reply to MelissaD2020]

Nope, New England but I can send you some snow!

[Lucyliu1 in reply to MelissaD2020]

Hi Melissa. Yes! I’m in LA and parenting a 12 yr old with ADHD. I could definitely need the support! Please email me if you would like to connect! Stressed mom. Sigh. [e-mail]