Any other families struggle with adhd symptoms mainly at home or around very familiar people? Our 11 yo boy is fully responsible at school only to display symptoms as he lets down at home.
We’ve had him tested, and he comes out with oppositional defiant and anxiety. It’s been challenging to understand when it’s usually controlled outside the home.
Any other similar stories?
Yes, definitely! My son tries so hard to hold it in during the school day, that sometimes he explodes when he gets home. And the more family members around, the more wound up he gets - like he's overstimulated by the amount of people he loves in the room. And he does obnoxious things to try to be funny, not realizing (despite being told repeatedly) that everyone else finds it annoying.
My son who is also 11 is the same way......the obnoxious behavior is very annoying. Sometimes he is funny but like you, I will tell him repeatedly if something he is doing it not funny and to stop, but he will push buttons and continue. I try to explain to him that it’s not good to get negative attention! I’m hoping he outgrows it as he matures. 🤞🏻
I hear ya - I just had a talk this morning with my son about negative attention. My son has a friend, who is generally a decent kid. But once discipline sets in, he just lets it spiral beyond acceptable trying to be class clown. So we talked about why that isn't the best option.
Annoying has been way overused by the other brothers here... which then is now what my son lives up to. He seems very insecure... masked by a big personality, I think. He now labels himself ‘annoying.’ Trying to remind him the difference between behavior that’s annoying and labeling. Ugh... so challenging. So tired!
Yes! I try not to let it become a label, because they do then start trying to live up to that. I have a cousin who was always known for being hyper-competitive. But I now realize a lot of it is because he thinks that's his role in our family. I don't know how you stop it, besides letting them know it OK to NOT be that person.
It sounds like you are describing my own son! Lol. When I ask other parents about it they say that I should find comfort in the fact that my son only melts down when he’s comfortable and knows family will still love him no matter what. But it’s very frustrating and draining for us to deal with! I feel your pain!
So, we have not explored treatments for adhd yet, as I’ve just recently been more convinced that’s what it is. How are you coping at home? We are in therapy, but it’s very hard to transfer as he presents so well in the office. We are making diet adjustments. Is there a magic pill to give him when he walks in the door? 😀. It is so stressful and comes on so quick.
I always heard that kids meltdown in the places they're most comfortable, like home. They are able to hold it together for so long and then everything let's go.
Hope you're able to find medication or therapy to deal with this.
Yes! Our 4-year-old son is good in his morning special-needs preschool program (where his morning dose of Adderall is at its peak and the teachers are trained to deal with ADHD) and with his nanny in the afternoon. But evenings and weekends when it's just the three of us can be an adventure.
Similar to what Pennywink and Christieb describe, it's just a string of minor misbehaviors and annoyances that we try to ignore as much as we can, but eventually *we* get overloaded. Our son was diagnosed with ODD as well as the ADHD, but I have to admit sometimes we're the ones who explode first. (Especially after we've been hit or had something thrown at us.)
9yo ADHD and at my wits end
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ADHD, Anxiety, Destructiveness 
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